Monasterio Series #5: Risks and Chances

Kabanata 12

Kabanata 12

Lost

Sa buong buhay ko, ni minsan ay hindi ko naranasan ang makatanggap ng tingin na tila ba hinuhusgahan. I always make sure that I do things perfectly. I keep my life organized and my decisions always in places. I'm somehow afraid to make mistakes and that people might judge me.

I always want to be the woman whom you will look at because I stand out. Because you're proud of me.

Naramdaman ko ang pagkalas ng kamay ni Alas mula sa pagkakahawak sa akin. Nahuli ko si Sunshine na nakatingin roon. Nang magtama ang mga mata namin, kusa siyang nag-iwas ng tingin. I inhaled and sat properly, wanting to look confident in front of them.

"Good a-afternoon po." It's Trish. Her eyes couldn't stay in one direction. Malikot ito at halatang naiilang.

"Good afternoon, hija. Join us for lunch." si Tito Russell.

My eyes simply went to Alas. Nakatingin siya sa mesa, nagiigting ang panga. Gusto kong mainis sa kaniya dahil isinama niya pa ako dito. O, sana naman, kung may balak pala siyang isama ako, sinabi niya na sa mga magulang niya ang tungkol sa totoong sitwasyon nila ni Trish. It seems like they all don't have any idea of what truly happened to them. Hindi alam na wala na sila ni Trish. Kaya ngayong nasa harapan nila ako, inaakalang si Alas pa ang nagloloko. Worst it, they might even think that I'm the third party.

Excuse me?!

"Ah, hindi na po—"

"Sige na, Trish. Birthday ko. Tatanggihan mo pa ba ako?"

Tumungo si Trish, hilaw na ngumiti saka nag angat ng tingin at isang beses na tumango.

"Sige, Mama Sandra."

Wow. Mama Sandra, huh?

"This is awkward." It's a soft whisper from Shellie but I was still be able to hear.

I fiercely looked at her to show some attitude that I'm not a mistress or whatever they're thinking about me. Nagkatinginan kaming dalawa. She's not smiling but I can't see any hatred either.

"Let Alas handle it, Elle."

My phone suddenly beeped that somehow stole my attention. Sinilip ko 'yon at nakitang may text si Alas sa akin.

Alas:

I'm sorry. Should have let them know about this earlier.

Gusto kong irapan ang text niyang iyon pero alam kong maraming mga mata ang maaaring makakita sa akin. Kalmado akong nagtipa ng isasagot, hindi ipinapahalatang nanggigigil na ako.

Ako:

I told you earlier that this is too much! Your family will think that we're cheating behind her back. Asshole! UUWI NA AKO!

After sending it, I exhaled deeply and tried to calm down. I think I need a yoga after this.

Gumapang ang kamay ni Alas papunta sa kamay ko at marahan iyong hinawakan. I glanced at our intertwined hands as he pulled it closer to him. Gusto ko siyang kurutin sa bewang nang halikan niya pa ang likod ng palad ko at masuyo akong tiningnan.

I heard someone clearing its throat. Nag-angat ako ng tingin at nakitang si Sandra iyon. She looks uneasy and when she saw me looking at her, she smiled awkwardly. Even Trish who is now sitting beside her looks uncomfortable.

"Alright! Something is not going on right but let's deal with it later," it's Tito Russell trying to change the vibes. "Kumain na tayo."

Nahuhuli ko si Trish na pasimpleng sumusulyap kay Alas. Maging ako sa sarili ko ay naguguluhan sa nangyayari at sa iniaasta niya. If she doesn't truly love Alas anymore, why go here and act like everything between them is fine?