Murder Me Kindly| H.S

6- Progress

Carmen Amor

People base opinions on the first thing they see usually. When you see someone with designer clothes and a Bentley you assume they are rich and have a comfortable life. When you see someone in ratty clothes you assume they are struggling. Assumptions make up so many thoughts that consume our brains every day.

With this being said I am trying my hardest to not assume anything about Harry, because if I did then that would get us nowhere.

Let's say I did assume things about him and let that cloud my feeling toward him. That would make a lot of things way more difficult.

Based on what I've seen from him I'd assume he is an entitled asshole who barely knows what human decency is. He doesn't completely feel guilt. He is sarcastic and rude. Through and through a grade A dickhead... is what most people would conclude of the enigma that is Harry Styles.

Now let's look at it with nonjudgmental eyes.

Harry is scared. Something had to have happened to make him be an asshole and keep everyone at arm's length. His sarcasm is a defense mechanism to keep people from looking in his head. Being rude is a way to mask being hurt.

I love to psychoanalyze people because the human brain is such an alluring and perplexing thing that there was no way Carmen Amor wouldn't be interested in learning as much as she can about them.

Harry has more to him than what meets the eye and I intend to know as much as I can about him.

Today me and Harry don't need to do much except pay attention to the app we programmed onto our phones to watch who Christian interacts with the most. I'm determined to break just a little bit of Harry's cold demeanor today.

Ever since Harry's false accusations of me yesterday I can admit that I have been keeping my distance. I don't like the way he tried to tell me my life story as if he lived it.

And the thing that really pissed me off is the fact that he said with so much confidence and conviction that he truly believed the bullshit that came past his lips. But he apologized and I do appreciate but an apology with change is a true apology, an apology without it is the most common form of manipulation.

Let's see if he changed a little bit today.

Harry is currently in the shower as I sit on my bed watching the camera feed while trying to think of the best way to break some of the ice between me and him.

Actually, I have a perfect idea. When me and my brother Jai would get into arguments we would only speak to one another after we played "Hot In Here" by Nelly.

Fantastic song really.

I hear the water from the shower stop running so I log off of the camera feed and head straight to my music. Not to be cocky but my music taste is rather impeccable if you ask me.

I walk over to the living room part of our suite and connect my phone to the speaker I usually use for when I shower.

Harry comes out of the shower with a pair of black sweatpants hanging low on his hips, showcasing his various tattoos. Damn, he's fine.

I hit play and one of the staple songs from my childhood begins to flow throughout the room.

"Innnnnn West Philadelphia born and raised!" I begin to sing with a grin.

Harry's head snaps towards me with a confused expression on his face.

"On the playground is where I spent most of my days!" I continue making my way towards him as I rap along to Will Smith.

Harry kind of just stands there staring at me as if I have four heads, he looks sort of cute if you ask me.

" Cmon Harold you said we're starting over, this is a great way to start!" I say once I reach him.

"Rap with me, don't be a buzzkill." I sort of whine towards him. Yes I know I'm being childish but he's so serious all the time I feel like he needs a bit of carefree fun.

"Started making trouble in my neighborhood, I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said," I rap.

"You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." He speaks instead of raps.

It's a start.

We rap the rest of the song together, well I rap he just says the words with a straight face. By the end of it I notice a small smile grace his lips but it leaves so soon I'm not sure it was actually ever there.

"See smirky it wasn't that hard to have a little bit of fun." I tease him just a little bit.

"You're very childish." He says, not in a rude way but more of a fact, an observation.

"Well, I kill people for a living so it's either be a little bit childish or become made of stone," I reply.

My parents, for the short time I had with them, were incredibly loving. They always read me my bedtime stories and kissed my forehead goodnight. They held my hand when I went to the doctor and watched all the Disney movies with me.

I miss them so fucking much but I try my hardest to not think of them too much because I'd spiral and I don't want that in the slightest.

I wonder how Harry had it growing up. Like I said before, I try my hardest to not make assumptions about people because there's such a high chance of me being completely wrong.

Harry is layered and I intend to peel some of them back.

Shrek said it best.

"Being childish gets you killed," he replies.

"At least if it gets me killed I can say I lived." I quip back, causing him to become silent.

A few minutes of silence pass until I break it, "So... want to maybe watch a movie?" I ask, still trying to get to know him.

"I have places to be so no." He says and faster than I can say suck my dick, he's gone.

At least he told me he was leaving, and he wasn't an asshole. He actually sang Will Smith with me.

Progress 

A.N: Hello my beautiful readers! I missed you guys so fucking much. School is apparently more important than writing my book so I apologize for this update taking a bit longer. This chapter is a filler to let you guys see how Carmen likes to view things and people and a bit more of her past were revealed. I would love it if you guys left questions and opinions for me to read because I read all of the comments and they never fail to make me laugh. Please comment, share, and vote because it makes me smile- J