The flame of desire (girlxgirl) ✔︎

The desire to be yours (part 3)➪𝟸𝟹

As I laid comfortably on her chest whilst watching "pitch perfect"on my laptop, Iris played with my long,dark hair. We chuckled at all the sarcastic jokes that the characters spewed.

Snuggling up to her, refusing to take up any other space on the bed, I placed a gentle kiss on Iris's soft, plump lips. I positioned myself on top of Iris as I continue to display my affection, Iris cupped my cheeks as she slowly sat up. Sitting me on her lap whilst we exchanged saliva, Iris began to kiss and suck ok my neck. I let out a sound moan, "Iris, I was wondering..."

"Hmm?" Iris responded as she continued to attack my neck with kisses,

"Have you figured out your sexuality?" Iris suddenly stopped everything that she was doing. My neck suddenly felt cold and lonely.

"What's there to figure out?" She asked, clearly discomforted by the question, "I like you, isn't that enough?" She stared up at me with her golden eyes, falling victim to her entrancing gaze, I kissed her again. Iris was right, her sexuality wasn't important. As long as we are together, that's enough.

Without a warning, Bruno suddenly bursts through the door without even thinking to knock. Panic fell on Iris as she pushed me off her reflexively.

"Oh shit." Bruno commented as he realised what he walked into.

"Bruno, you fucking idiot. Knock!" I screamed at him, throwing the closest pillow to me directly at his head. "Head shot!" I celebrated as he snarled at me then closed the door.

Turning back to Iris, I was faced with a confused wavy haired girl, who's mouth was gaping slightly open.

"What?" I asked curiously.

"He didn't bat an eye..." Iris mumbled to herself as if she'd just experienced a super natural event.

"Why would he? He knows we're dating." I tilted my head slightly.

"He what?" Iris panicked, "and he's okay with that?"

"Of course." I smiled. Iris slowly relaxed her body and sighed in relief. I giggled at her reaction until I noticed her body suddenly stiffen.

"wait Lina, you know I'm not ready to come out yet..." Iris stared at me with cold eyes. A sudden realisation ambushed me with no mercy, my eyes widened in guilt and a sprinkle of fear.

I had outed Iris.

Two people knew about Iris's sexuality, which she previously had no idea about. I should tell her, shouldn't I? She knew that Bruno knew, Sophie on the other hand....

"It's fine that he knows," Iris told me, grabbing at the bed sheets, clearly upset by my lack of consideration, "but that's it. I haven't even told Jo, I'm that scared, Lina. I tell Jo everything but I can't accept this part of me just yet."

"This part of you?" I asked, feeling slightly offended.

"Yeah, the part of me that... Never mind."

"No finish your sentence." I ordered, raising my voice, exasperated by what she was implying, "what? The part of you that likes me?"

Iris quickly averted her hazel eyes towards me, mouth agape, "That's not what I said!" She defended herself.

"But it's what you meant!" I argued. It seemed that somehow, we were always arguing.

Iris opened her mouth and quickly shut it, her eyes began to water and she started to tremble, "I'm sorry." She quietly apologised. I watched as the girl whom I loved covered her face with her hands and bit down on her lip to keep her from breaking down. I shouldn't have gotten so upset with her.

"Don't apologise. I should be apologising. I always get mad at you, impatient, expecting you to do so much when you aren't ready to come out yet... Barely anyone knows that I'm a lesbian yet I expect you to be okay when I tell other people about us without your permission. But I promise, Bruno and Sophie don't care about that stuff. I'm so unfair on you, you just put up with it. You shouldn't have to do that. I promise that I'll treat you better." My vow to be a better girlfriend had heavily backfired, Iris was staring at me with so much rage and fury in her eyes.

"Sophie?" She questioned, her eyebrows furrowed and her lip trembled. My chest felt so heavy I could've died. Iris slowly got of my bed, refusing to look at me. I have never felt so desperate, I have never felt so much despair.

"Iris? Issy! Please talk to me..."I was on the verge of tears, I knew that I fucked up. I really fucked up.

"Roselina," my heart dropped at the mention of my entire name, "do you know...What would happen to me..." she struggled to form her sentences, her breath was heavy and shaking. That's when I realised that Iris was petrified, not because she was scared to be anything other than the norm but because she wasn't allowed to be different. She couldn't be different.

I ran up from behind Iris and latched onto her waist, digging my face into her back as I hysterically cried, "I'm so sorry, I'm so fucking sorry. I swear she won't tell anyone, I swear!"

"And how the fuck do you know that!" This was the first time that Iris had screamed at me in a while,"how the fuck do you know that?" Her voice lowered.

"She figured out I was into you all on her own, I told her about us because I was excited and wanted to share it with someone. Because I love you!"

"Shut the fuck up Lina! Shut up!" I slowly lost my grip on her waist and let my arms fall to my sides, I really fucked it up, didn't I?

"Iris-"

"I don't know if you are just acting this stupid, or if you really are so clueless, but anyone can tell that bitch hates my guts. And now, she has leverage on me!"

"She's not like that!"

"You don't know that! And even if she is trustworthy, I didn't want her to know." Silence roamed the
room, "I'm going now, don't talk to me for a while." The door creaked open and slammed shut.

I'm such a fucking idiot.