The flame of desire (girlxgirl) ✔︎

The desire to be called➪𝟷𝟸

A/N- the following chapters will be from Roselina's POV until I decide to change it.

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How should I style my hair? Half up-half down? All down? But it's always down... Ponytail?

I settled on a high ponytail, my hair had always been long but this year it was undeniably longer. Even in a high ponytail my hair brushed just above my waist. I really should cut it...

This was only a study date... No! Not even a study date, date was a word too rich to describe this. It was purely a study session, or, to be frank ; a lesbian freak-idiot getting tutored by her beautiful, enticing, top-student crush.

Despite the nerves sinking into my veins I was excited to spend time with Iris, even if it was only so she could tutor me.

Iris: Be here with your English books, I'll help you with Macbeth.

Even the way she texts is smart!

Me: Sure! :)

Grabbing my stuff and shoving it into my bag, I left my house without a word. I didn't need my shallow brother to dampen my bright mood. I walked all the way to the library since it was a only 15 minutes away from my house.

Entering the silent building my eyes instantly latched onto the alluring girl sat across the room. She was wearing glasses which framed her face well, it made her look sophisticated and sexy, all whilst she tapped her pen to her lips, eyes drawn to her Macbeth book. I've never seen her wear glasses before.

My heart thumped erratically as I built up enough courage to walk over to her. We sat next to each other in form class but seeing each other in our own clothes and hanging out outside of school felt all too real.

"Hi." I greeted her with a nervous but kind smile. Her golden eyes lifted onto me, she was still tapping her pen to her lips with one of her legs crossed on top of the other. There was a brief silence until she finally let out a mere, "hey" and when back to studying the book.

Shes so beautiful. That thought ran through my head a thousand times over. I sat next to Iris,waiting for her to say something, demand something out of me. I'd do anything she'd ask honestly.

Turning towards me, looking into my dull eyes with her golden ones she stated ever so casually, "show me your stuff." My cheeks turned crimson red, I knew what she meant but my mind wandered somewhere dirty.

I shuffled through my bag as quickly as I could and took out all my English equipment. She smirked, " Calm down Ariana Grande, we have time," she stated in a jokingly matter. My cheeks became blood flushed, does she think I look stupid?

"When it comes to essays you want to include context to get a higher grade. For example, Banquo and King James I were related somewhere down the line..." She continued as I stared at her caramel locks, she cut it slightly shorter.

"You cut your hair." I mindlessly interrupted. She stared at me with a confused look. " I like it." The words took over and just left my mouth without a second warning.

Her eyes glistened slightly, she smiled, it was only a little but it seemed genuine. "Thank you." She said in a shy voice. My heart, it won't stop. This feeling, my stomach feels tight. She's so beautiful.

I began to do my work whilst Iris examined the front of my exercise book, "Your name..." Iris' voice randomly interrupted the silent atmosphere,I looked at her obscurely, "it's spelt weird." She stated yet again, ever so casually.I just stared at her, I wasn't sure how to reply.

She removed her eyes from the book and looked at me, her eyes widened almost as if she realised how rude what she said was.

"No! I'm not saying that your name is weird. It's nice, but it's usually spelt like Rosalina, not Ros-e-lina." She was panicking like a child who was about to get scolded by their parents.

Grinning from ear to ear I began to chuckle at how cute she was in that moment. I never thought she'd be the awkward type, even if it was only sometimes.

"Yeah, my mom wanted to name me Lena but after I was born my dad wanted to add Rose to it, since that was my mums name. He didn't want to name me Rose-lena, since that looked and sounded even weirder but he also didn't want to lose the name that belonged to my mother.So  he settled on Roselina." I explained whilst highlighting some key points in my book.

I looked up, Iris' golden eyes were staring so ambitiously as if she was spacing out, her mouth was slightly gaping open and all around she looked dumbfounded.

"Was?" She questioned in a sad tone.

"Yeah, my mum died giving birth to me." I blurted out. I always lost tactic when it came to mentioning my late mother because I carried such heavy guilt. Iris looked at me with sympathetic eyes,

"Do you like being called Rose?" She questioned. My eyes widened, it was like she was in my head, asking questions I never wanted to be asked. I could shut up now. I should shut up now. But for some reason... For some reason I told her everything as if she was an old friend, therapist even.

"No. I hate it but at the same time..."

"At the same time...?" She pushed me to finish my sentence.

"At the same time, it feels like a punishment that I deserve." My words came out as a whisper, even I struggled to hear me.

"You deserve?" She sounded confused and upset.

"Yeah. For murdering my mother." Why was I telling her this?

Iris took a heavy breath. "It wasn't your fault! You didn't murder her, and I won't help with this punishment." I looked at her with blurry eyes, "I'll call you Lina." She said. Tears prickled my eyes even more until one finally escaped.

"You have an accent." I stated randomly whilst slightly giggling.

"Yeah. I was born in France originally..." Her voice trailed off. She seemed bewildered at the sudden change in subject.

"I'll call you Issy." I placed my head on my hand, slouching onto the table whilst staring at her with endearing eyes. She looked at me as if I was speaking utter nonsense.

"Issy?" She asked. I nodded in response. "where's the correlation?"

"Ir-is. 'Is' is at the end of your name. Isabelle sounds french, your name doesn't. Issy." The logic lacked, even I could tell but honestly I just wanted to call her something that belonged to me and me only.

She nodded with a wide smile, "Sure, Lina."

I fiddled with my fingers, "okay, Issy."