Chapter 43, A Horrible Feeling

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"Let's go kick some dobber arse," Nessa says once we arrive at her Porsche

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

"Let's go kick some dobber arse," Nessa says once we arrive at her Porsche.

I watch the girl intently. She has a wicked smile and her brown eyes are wild with adrenaline. She has her beautiful red hair tied back, but it's so curly and wild she might as well have worn it loose. Like most nights we go on these kinds of missions, she's wearing a black bodysuit with heels that could probably do more damage than any weapon we have.

But I know all that is just surface area. The girl that's really standing in front of me is still dressed in that dirty white shirt with blood on it. Her hair is still sticky with oil and her eyes still have tears in them. Just like that first day I saw her...

I suddenly remember that day so vividly I feel like I'm back in time.

Xav was eighteen and I was seventeen. He just became the leader of the North when he heard of human traffickers passing nearby. After the tragic fire that took so many lives that year, Xav wanted blood. Without a moment of doubt, we went to take those fuckers down. We slaughtered every guy that was involved and gave shelter to the victims. I was handing dinner to all the girls when I saw Venessa MacArtan for the first time.

There, in Isabella's foyer in nothing but a shirt with bruised eyes and a body with marks all over, the girl was in tears. I was handing dinner to all the survivors, but Nessa was just so...

Different.

I handed her soup just like I did to all the other crying girls and told her everything was going to be okay now. There was no need for her tears. She was just a year younger than me but seemed so small.

Nessa looked up at me, her eyes still wet and watery, but she didn't whimper like the others. No, she stared at me with fire in her soul and said, "I'm not cryin' because I'm sad. I'm cryin' because I couldn' be the one to slaughter those men."

I undoubtedly fell in love right then and there, but... How can you tell a girl that just went through all that Nessa did, that you like her? She had been traumatized because of men for years. It was only logical that I should wait.

And wait.

And wait and wait and wait and I don't think I'll ever have the right to tell Nessa how much I care for her when she's been through so much. The last thing she would want is some idiot like me telling her I'm head over heels. I have been for years. No... Nessa deserves someone better. She needs someone brave. And I'm a coward. I've been nothing but a coward for years now. All I can do is run away.

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