Brown Eyes | Loubbie

Chapter Fourteen

The city's morning buzz was in the air, and the dew on the plants along the streets had faded. Cate got out of her car, trudged towards the front door, and saw Sandra with an apron draped over her body, while the kids were on the kitchen island, probably waiting for their bacon and pancakes. She promised Sandra that she'd be home by night, and that she'd be home before midnight, but she lost track of time. She lost track of time, especially when Sarah played games with her and made her drink as if it were the last night of her drinking. She made a noise as she shut the door and removed her jacket. The kids along with Sandra turned their heads towards the door and all she did was to offer a huge smile.

"Good morning, loves!" She greeted excitedly as she walked towards them, "How's the morning, huh?"

"Laila, it's mama!" Louise informed.

"Mama Catie!"

Louis and Laila jumped out of their seats and ran towards her, beaming. When Laila opened her arms and climbed on Cate, she dropped her bag. She laughed as she carried the child, kissing Laila's head before rubbing Louis' head and kissing him. When Laila and Louis began to speak about their days, informing Cate about what happened and how they got their shirt painted with strawberry syrup after Laila accidentally dropped the syrup one afternoon, the once silent home had been transformed into a circus. Cate set Laila down as she crept towards Sandra, who had been completely silent the entire time.

"Good morning, honey." She whispered as she snaked an arm on Sandra's waist.

Sandra scoffed and continued getting the pancakes off from the pan, completely ignoring Cate's presence. Cate backed off when Sandra held her arm and pushed it casually away from her frame. It was expected. She knew where her anger was coming from.

"Kids, finish your breakfast. I'll go up and sleep for a little while." Sandra muttered, placing pancakes on the kids' plates, "Finish the food or else I'll be mad."

"Won't you sit and eat and have breakfast with us, mommy?" Laila asked, taking a bite from her food.

Sandra smiled at the little girl as she took off her apron, "I can't. I'll just sit and have lunch with the both of you. Would that be okay?"

"Laila, let mommy sleep." Louis insisted, as he went closer towards her sister's ear, "Mommy is tired." He whispered, as if Cate and Sandra didn't hear his words.

Cate smiled at the two, "I'll just have breakfast with you too. Let mommy do her thing, okay?"

The kids nodded and it served as Sandra's cue to leave. She kissed the kids before she walked out of the kitchen, completely ignoring the blonde who was not baffled with her constant ignoring. She watched as Sandra walked towards the stairs 'til she was out of sight. When Sandra was no longer visible, Cate was shocked to see Louis and Laila looking at her with their lips pouted.

"Babies, what's the matter?"

"We feel like mommy didn't sleep that much." Louis spoke, glancing up the stairs.

Laila pouted at Cate, "Mama, we saw mommy sleeping on the couch in the living room with no blankets on. Where were you last night? Did you sleep in your room? Why was mommy sleeping on the couch?"

"Oh, baby. I wasn't home last night. I was with a friend. But you two don't worry, okay? Let's don't make much noise today so that mommy will have a good sleep. Would that be okay?"

"Yes, mama." The kids replied and continued to eat.

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It was past nine o'clock in the morning, and the kids were already seated in the playroom. Cate decided to check on the brunette after she finished her routine and took her bath. She slowly opened the door, revealing Sandra, who was probably sleeping with her back to her. Throughout her life, she was aware of everything that Sandra's action implied, and she was aware that she was upset at the time.

Cate felt as if she hadn't given Sandra enough. The blonde knew she wasn't at her best, but Sandra was fine with it. She was fine with Cate giving her half of her time, and despite the fact that she didn't want a secret relationship, she came to accept it. When it came to her feelings and the things that were swirling inside her, Sandra was an introvert, solitary and secluded. She was strong and did not show any signs of weakness. She rarely shared her worries and fears, almost never her heartaches and distresses, overcoming everything on her own - but Cate knew her. Cate had known her through all of her this-is-the-real-me phases.

Sandra never let the blonde feel that way, even though she knew deep down that she wasn't enough. And it hurt the blonde to think about how much worse things could get if just one thing slipped out of her fisted palm. She would not be prepared to lose her. She couldn't let her go for the second time. Cate shut the door and crept up to the bed. She then crept under the covers, snaking her arm around Sandra's waist and resting her head on the back of her neck. They were like two puzzle pieces that were meant to be together. Cate could hear Sandra's slow breathing and, for the first time since the previous night, she thought it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever heard. Sandra didn't flinch nor move when Cate tightened the hug and placed a subtle kiss on her shoulder blade. Cate missed her and she was sterlingly sorry.

"I love you. I always do." Cate uttered in her softest voice, not knowing that tears were already pooling out of her eyes.

It took her a few more seconds to compose another phrase that shocked her world. She wasn't ready. She wasn't.

"I'm sorry." Her voice cracked, as if it was something she had been holding for years.

"What are you sorry for? For promising me to come home and breaking it or are you sorry for another thing?"

And with that question, the blonde froze to death.

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