A Court of Shadows and Stars (Azriel Fanfiction)

Nineteen- Wingspan is really a thing?

Nineteen- Wingspan is really a thing?

I slammed my fist into the wall of my bedroom, the impact splitting the skin on my knuckles in the process. God! How could I be this stupid? Let my body decide what's best for me?! For fucks sake Kaira!

Anger burned through me like a hot poker. I was goddamn stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! What the fuck was I on? Some sort of sex inducing drug? Why can't I just keep it in my pants? Why do I have to always submit to my emotions? Pleasure or not I was not going to let the spymaster get the best of me and then toss me away when he realizes how 'pathetic' I am to him.

And God! Did I really let him touch me like that? And he let me do the same to him. Unwillingly my mind flitted back to our exchange in the small room. The hunger that burned in his eyes, his barely concealed thirst for what I could offer.

Then the disgust in his eyes afterwards. As if I was nothing more to him than the dirt he walked upon.

Nadine Brackey's words rang through my mind, men will do whatever it takes to get what they want. To them a woman is nothing but flesh and bone, a vessel of lust in which they could lose themselves in I sighed through my nostrils, irritation coinciding with my anger, a man will make promises to you, use you and then toss you away after he got what he wanted. She had a point there, the spymaster after all was a male, and I indulged in his desires. The pleasure house mistress did have a point, of course she did! She's been dealing with men her entire life!

I ran my fingers through my hair and winced when the cuts on my knuckles tangled with my hair. I pulled away and assessed my bruised fists, a few cracked bones and the rest was all surface wounds. Not wanting Feyre or any of the other Fae to heal me, I made my way to the bathroom and dunked them in a small pot of cold water. Cleaning my wounds with only the soap available I used a few dry linens to wrap up my knuckles. This was a big bloody mess, I needed to stay away from that male. And when I am in his vicinity, I should always keep in mind that he was the enemy.

A knock sounded at the door and both Feyre and Morrigan walked in. They were both dressed up in elaborate and grand gowns, Feyre wore a beautiful black tiara that matched her dress and Morrigan had her hair done in a dazzling corona which had similar gold beads that were on her red dress, "Get dressed we're going out!" Morrigan said just as Feyre made her way to my closet.

"Where to?"

"Hit some of the best places Velaris has to offer," Feyre said pulling out a grand dress the shade of champagne. I stared at it, confused as to how it got into my closet. It was beautiful, with thin spaghetti straps and an elaborate bodice with a trumpet skirt. Immediately the inner Taurus in me ached to wear it and I couldn't resist but grab the dress and change into it.

"Tie your hair up, those wide shoulders of yours need to paraded around- damn the amount of heads you're going to turn," Morrigan swooned as she pulled out a delicate gold head chain from the vanity. I put it on and Feyre gathered my hair into an intricate knot at the base of my neck. I pulled out a few curls from the side and framed my face the way I liked it.

"Where exactly are these places?" I asked as I slipped into a comfortable pair of shoes Feyre provided.

Morrigan had a dangerous glint in her eyes, "you'll see," she said before walking out of my room. I had no other reason but to follow.

***

"You're telling me that, that guy is interested?" I asked as I held back a hiccup. From beside me Feyre giggled as she observed the male who was shamelessly staring at our table. Morrigan poured us another round of drinks, taking a big gulp off hers she nodded, "yeah that guy. Ooh you should go talk to him,"

"And say what?" I asked unable to stop the giggle that rose up my throat. The girls followed suit, too drunk to care.

"Tell him that you appreciate his wingspan," Morrigan said with a wink.

I blinked in confusion before turning to look back at the Illyrian male who was unabashedly staring at me. Back in my world I would've definitely labeled him as a freak but here I wasn't so sure, Fae male were complicating.

"Wingspan?" I asked tuning back into the conversation.

Feyre shot me a devilish grin, "Oh you know, an Illyrian male's wingspan determines how big he is," she said with a wink.

"Big? Oh, OH!" Realization dawned over me and I shamelessly turned to assess his wingspan. Hmm, he wasn't packing that I could tell.

I turned back to Feyre who seemed to be blushing all of a sudden. "Oh don't mind her," Morrigan said as she took another chug, I followed, "Rhysand probably said something hot and dirty through the bond,"

I laughed, "Oh of course,"

Feyre downed her drink in one gulp, "Stop it you guys!" She said hicupping at the end. I smirked at her as I downed the rest of my drink and Morrigan signaled a waiter to come refill them. Feyre caught the look I was throwing at her and rolled her eyes playfully.

"Speaking of wingspan," I said as I watched the waiter fill up my glass, "Do the males in your circle know about it?"

Immediately the two of them burst out laughing, "Of course they do!" Feyre said inbetween breaths, "they actually measured and compared,"

I shook my head unable to hide the smile, "Typical, no matter what world you're in, the boys will be boys,"

"Couldn't agree with you more!" Morrigan said raising her glass in a toast. We followed and downed our drinks in one go.

"So out of sheer curiosity," I said with a wink, "who won?"

Morrigan and Feyre gave each other a conspiratorial look, both on the brink of laughing. Finally Morrigan turned to me, "Azriel of course," she said shooting me a wink.

Just then the male from earlier approached us. The girls immediately went quiet, both holding in their laughter whilst trying to play it cool. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep myself from losing it then and there. The male had his eyes fixed on me, the predatory glint visible in his eyes along with the unmistakeable interest. I maintained eye contact, not refusing to back down as he made his way towards us.

Just as he neared our table he stopped short, his eyes widening in the process as he stared at something behind me. Without a word he immediately turned on his heel and left.

Feyre, Morrigan and I exchanged confused glances before the alcohol in our system made us erupt in laughter. I was too far gone to even bother about his odd behavior. I stared at the girls and couldn't help but feel accepted and at home here with them. Fae or not they were friends.

The thought stopped me short and I raised my glass to empty its contents to avoid letting them see the expression on my face.

My mind flitted back to an important lesson uncle taught me,

The house may be made of candy but the witch inside it isn't.

I was still in an unknown land with a species so different to humankind. No one was on my side here and I had only myself to trust.

Hazel eyes flashed in my head along with his never ending brooding expression. I downed the contents of my drink, resorting to numb my mind.

No, no one could be trusted.