Pearl Of The East | ✓

Chapter 45

I held my head high as my eyes darted on the camera. The air headed people are asking if where I am when the calamity strikes, therefore, I’m going to give them the answer.

“Everyone is asking if where is the President right? Here I am y’all. Here I am now sitting here and speaking,” I uttered sarcastically.

“I honestly don’t know about the calamity, dahil sa mga panahong hinagupit ang Bicol region ng kalamidad ay kasalukuyan kong inililigtas ang pamilya ko. Yes you heard it right. My family was abducted by the founder of the terrorists PPA. And it is such heartbreaking for me to see my people suffering and hear those nonsense words coming from those people who are just sitting at the comfort of their home while applying the bandwagon mentality. And then you’re all asking if where I am?” I paused for a moment.

“What do you expect? Anong gusto n’yong gawin ko? Ang tumayo sa gitna at salubungin ang pagdating ng bagyo? Do you really expect me on doing that you air headed fools? Why don’t you think more instead of blabbering nonsense things? Kahit ba sa kalamidad ay hindi pa rin natin magagawang magkaisa? At hahanap at hahanap pa rin kayo ng taong masisisi? Bakit hindi na lang tayo magtulungan instead of blaming someone?”

“Look I’m not saying this to repolish my name and title. But I’m telling this for you to wake up from your own deliria. Come on people, why don’t you start on extending your hand and think more? Than posting some nonsense things and talking about your stupid mentality? Alam ko kung ano ang mga responsibilidad ko at ginagampanan ko iyon sa abot ng makakaya ko. But it’s damn hard to lead a country filled with air headed fools. It’s hard to lead a country where it’s own people are attacking it’s government.” Puno ng awtoridad kong wika. Sinenyasan ko na ang reporter na hanggang doon na lang ang sasabihin ko.

After the press conference, I spend my time on analyzing things and giving help to the people. I feel sorry for the people in Bicol region. They have suffered so much. Swerte na nga lang at hindi na iyon dinagdagan pa nang pagputok ng bulkan.

“Ma’am,” Zalysha called after she guided the journalists in exiting my office.

“Narito na po ang kabuuang data ng casualties sa Bicol region ma’am,” she added and handed me a paper. My heart sank the moment I read the number of deaths. It’s heartbreaking to read such kind of data. Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako saka tumango sa kan’ya.

Being a leader will never be easy. You have to be strong amidst your countless weaknesses. You have to be unbreakable when the mere fact is that you’re already broken.

—————

“How is he Styyx?” I asked. I took a glance at him, while he’s driving.

“He’ll be discharge tomorrow,” he answered. Tumango na lang ako sa sinabi n’ya. Maswerte s’ya at may lalakeng pumipigil sa ‘kin, dahil kung wala ay matagal ko na sana s’yang sinilaban.

They say, those who know how to forgive are the strongest person but the hell with that! I’m willing to be known as the weakest person in this damn world! Forgive him? Forgive the person who massacred my family and who stole my chance of living a happy life? Nah, maybe after burning him.

“What’s your plan baby?” Styyx asked giving me a calm look.

“Make his life a living hell,” I said rigidly. Napabuntong-hininga s’ya sa sinabi ko. Alam kong mali ang maghiganti sa kapwa, at alam kong hindi rin s’ya sang-ayon sa mga plano ko.

Pero anong magagawa ko? Isa lang naman akong anak at ate na sinaktan ng sobra. I can still remember myself before. The me, who lives a beautiful life together with my family before. The woman who only know how to aim her gun at the enemy and fight for her country.

But now that my family is gone? I have learned how to take revenge—well not that kind of unjustifiable revenge. I have learned how to put justice in my hands. And I have learned how to be strong and unmovable. Vex not thou the woman with her strong principles, for you will surely slumber under the nails of her wrath.

Styyx heaved a sigh and grabbed my hand. He clutched it before pulling over beside the road. Confusion was immediately written on my face.

“Why did we stop?”

“Look I understand you baby. I promise I do. I helped you on catching him, but please take a heed of that inner voice within you baby. I know that it’s still there,” he uttered softly while pointing the location of my heart. My brows furrowed in his words. What is this again?

“What are you talking Styyx?” He didn’t answer me for a second instead he stared at my eyes intently.

“Baby I’m afraid that madness will change you into someone you never expected. I know that it’s painful baby. Damn painful! Because I’ve been there. Naranasan ko ring mawalan ng mahal sa buhay. At napakasakit nun Eury, napakasakit...” Wika n’ya habang ang kan’yang mga mata ay nababalot ng lungkot. Now I know what he’s trying to say.

“Styyx I’m not doing anything,” I reasoned out. Mali bang abutin ko ang hustisya na nararapat ibigay para sa kamatayan ng pamilya ko? Masama bang pagbayarin ko ang taong gumawa nun?

“No Eury. You’re letting yourself be drown in that madness within you. Baby I’m afraid that one day I will wake up and you’re no longer that woman with just.”

I immediately grab my hand away from his. Galit na lang ang meron ako. Galit at prinisipyo na lang ang s’yang nagpapalakas sa ‘kin at ang s’yang hindi nagpapatinag sa ‘kin. Paano na lang kung mawala ang galit na ito?

What will happen if this burning fire inside me will dissipate? I don’t want to be that weakling again!

“I’m sorry baby but I don’t want you to lose yourself again. Please don’t take this in a wrong way. This doesn’t mean that I don’t understand you. Hey baby please look at me, please...” He grabbed my hand once again but I chose not to meet his eyes. Hindi ko s’ya maintindihan. What is he really trying to say? God knows how much I love him, but I just can’t get his damn point.

“Please look at me in the eyes baby,” he pleaded. He cupped my face with his both hands and tried to catch my eyes. Sa huli ay pinili ko na lang tingnan ang mga mata n’ya gaya ng sinabi n’ya. And then again the green eyes of my General are damn hypnotizing!

“Just get to the point General,” I uttered impassively. I won’t let his hypnotic eyes capture me.

“Baby please don’t let that madness of yours drive you astray. You know that I’m always at your back right? Baby you have my full support. But when I know that, it is no longer good for you, baby hindi kita kukunsintihin. I don’t want you to resent yourself again. Eury I love you that’s why I’m saying this to you. Nagpapalamon ka na sa galit mo, to the point that you’re not giving yourself a chance to forgive,” he gently said. Napatitig ako sa kan’ya nang puno ng pagtataka at hindi makapaniwala. Seriously? He’s asking me to forgive?

“Styyx you know nothing! Do you think it’s that easy to forgive someone who massacred your family? Styyx no! It’s damn hard!” I can’t help but to raise my voice with asphyxiation on the every word. Akala ko ay naiintindihan n’ya ako. Ngunit bakit ganito? Anong akala n’ya? Ganoon na lang kadali ang magpatawad?

I grab my face away from his grasp and turn my back against him. I let the dark surrounding cloak my sight. Pain started to crept in my system. The person who I thought that could understand me always, is now turning into the one who can’t. I thought he always got my back? But what is this right now? He’s damn asking me to forgive that asshole without even thinking that it’s not that easy!

“Just drive me home Styyx,” I uttered with latent emotions.

“Look ---“

“I said drive me home General!” I immediately cutted his words with my raised voice. I don’t want to let this go further. Yes I’m disappointed and hurt at the same time. But I don’t want to argue with him anymore.

“Just hear me out baby please...” Muli n’yang sinubukang abutin ang kamay ko pero kusa ko itong inilayo.

“I have heard enough Styyx,” malamig kong wika. Rinig ko ang pagbuntong-hininga n’ya. Ano pa ba ang pakikinggan ko sa kan’ya? Gayong malinaw na sa ‘kin ang gusto n’yang gawin ko.

“That’s not what I mean baby, “ he uttered with his pleading voice. I decided to face him and stare at his eyes with my blank expression. I hate hearing his pleadings, afterall he’s my fiancé and yeah I love him, thus, I don’t like hearing his voice with that tone.

“Then what General?” He heave a sigh and lower his gaze at my hands.

“I know that you’re still blaming yourself about what happened to your family, right?” My brows wrinkled forming into a furrow.

“Baby, I’m not asking you to forgive that asshole. But at least please try to forgive yourself. Your guilt is just adding your madness. I don’t want you to be consumed with that. Please baby can you do that? Take away those guilt and forgive yourself. Because I know that you will never learn how to forgive others without forgiving yourself first. Please?” He gently uttered with his emerald eyes sprinkled with beseechingness. I stared at him with disbelief written on my face. Forgive my self? Is that what he really mean?

And yeah he’s right. Whether I’ll put it on words or not, I know in myself that I’m still blaming myself. Hanggang ngayon ay galit pa rin ako sa sarili ko. Sino nga ba namang hindi sisisihin ang sarili nila kung sila ang naging dahilan sa pagkawala ng kanilang pamilya? Tumango na lang ako sa sinabi n’ya. Aminado naman akong tama s’ya. My guilt in my self is just adding the madness that I feel towards Perez.

“Baby?” He asked for an assurance.

“I’ll try. I’m sorry hindi kita pinakinggan agad,” he smiled at my words. He grab my hand and kiss the back of my palm while staring at my eyes with still a smile on his face.

“It’s okay baby,” I smiled sweetly to him. I’m lucky that I have him. He’s not a man with just his words. But a man with his actions. He told me he love me and yes he’s showing it through supporting and understanding me, yet he always pull me back to my path when I’m starting to get astray.

“Let’s go?” He nodded and kissed the back of my palm once again.

“Ate!” Minoa ran towards my direction after seeing us. Malayo na s’ya ngayon sa basang-basa at umiiyak na bata noong nakita ko s’ya sa ibabaw ng bubong. Although she’s still hurt and grieving about her mother’s death, but I can see that she’s trying to be strong, like what I told her.

She immediately rewarded me a tight hug like we haven’t see each other for years. Minoa reminded me so much of my younger sister Calliope.

“Kumusta ka Minoa?” Nakangiting tanong ko sa kan’ya.

“Maayos na po ako kahit papaano ngayon ate Eury. Ang ganda-ganda po ng bahay n’yo, at kumain po kami kanina nina ate M at kuya nang masasarap na pagkain,” she uttered with her eyes beaming in happiness, although there’s still stain of sadness on it.

Ngumiti ako sa kan’ya saka ko ginulo ang buhok n’ya. Masaya akong makita s’yang ganito. Sa murang edad n’ya ay natuto na s’yang ngumiti sa kabila ng trahedya na pinagdaanan n’ya. Habang ako? Ilang panahon din ang lumipas bago ako natutong ngumiti muli nang tunay.

“Styyx they’re the kids I told you, they’re amazing right?” I smiled at Styyx. Binalingan ko ng tingin si Nelo na tahimik na nakaupo sa couch at tila malalim na naman ang iniisip.

“Indeed. They’re such an angel baby,” he answered. Lumuhod s’ya saka ginulo ang buhok ni Minoa. Minoa stare at him with disbelief written in her face. She’s staring intently at Styyx’ eyes. Surely this is really how powerful Styyx’ eyes are. I thought it can only hypnotize a woman but it is effective on kids too.

“Hi there Minoa,” Styyx greeted her.

“Bakit iba po ang kulay ng mata mo po?” Inosenteng tanong ni Minoa. Styyx raised his gaze at me and gave me a grin.

“Let’s say dahil gwapo ako?” pilyong sagot n’ya.

“Opo!” Lalong napangisi nang malapad si Styyx dahil sa masiglang sagot ni Minoa.

“Nobyo po kayo ni ate Eury?” Biglang tanong ni Minoa.

“Hindi na. Fiancé ko na s’ya ngayon,” Styyx looked at me with his menacing smile.

“Po?” Naguguluhang tanong ni Minoa. Ginulo ko na lang ang kan’yang buhok saka ako lumuhod upang ako na mismo ang sumagot sa tanong n’ya.

“Fiancé, ibig-sabihin nu’n ikakasal na kami, kaya hindi na kami mag-nobyo. Pero huwag mo na muna isipin iyon Noa okay? Bata ka pa,” I smiled at her. I love the nickname I created for her.

“Kailan po ang kasal n’yo?” Ma-usisang tanong ni Minoa dahilan para magkatinginan kami ni Styyx at sabay ngumiti nang mapait.

“Kapag maayos na ang bansa. Pero sa ngayon samahan mo muna si ate okay? May ipapakita ako sa ‘yo.” Sabay kaming naglakad tatlo papunta sa direksyon ni Nelo.

“Styyx he’s Nelo, Minoa’s elder brother,” I gestured Nelo.

“Nelo okay ka lang ba?” Nag-aalalang tanong ko sa kan’ya. Sa murang edad n’ya ay masyadong malalim na ang mga iniisip n’ya at mahirap itong hulaan.

“Opo ate Eury salamat,” tipid n’yang wika. I averted my look at Styyx, giving him my words through my eyes.

“Kapag may kailangan ka sabihin mo lang kay ate okay?” Nelo nodded at my words. Sinenyasan ko na lang si Styyx na s’ya na ang kumausap kay Nelo. They’re both male, maybe they can understand each other or at least Styyx know how to handle Nelo’s mood.

“Hey there young man,” I heard Styyx, while taking the vacant sit beside Nelo.

“M what are you doing? Haven’t I told you to rest?” I asked after seeing her in the kitchen.

“Oh you’re home,” she snapped in and greeted me with a kiss on my cheeks.

“You’re supposed to be resting M kaka-discharge mo pa lang,” umiling s’ya sa sinabi ko.

“Relax Ry, sinuntok lang ako at nabaril hindi pinutulan ng kamay. Besides I can still move, I don’t like being overwhelmed with procastination,” she reasoned out. Mabilis kong sinalo ang isang itlog na nalaglag mula sa pagkakahawak niya. Her left arm still have a cast on it, she can hardly move it and use it, yet she’s still trying to bake.

“You really need to rest M,” umiiling kong wika.

“Nope. Magbihis ka na lang Eury. Hey, I really did enjoy the kid’s company except from Minoa’s elder brother,” she informed. Tumango na lang ako sa kan’ya. Masaya akong mabilis na nagkasundo sila M at ang mga bata, pero hindi ko pa rin mapigilang mag-aalala sa asal ni Nelo. I’m afraid that he’s too hurt inside, that he can’t even put it in words. Because seriously, he’s like me before; A walking dead. Yes he’s breathing but I’m afraid that in the inside he’s dying.

“I hope Styyx can catch him M,” buntong-hininga kong wika. After those words I decided to leave M on the kitchen and continue my way towards my room with Minoa on my hand.

“Ang ganda po ng bahay n’yo ate Eury...” Namamanghang wika ni Minoa.

“Gusto mo rin bang magkaroon ng kagaya nito Minoa?” Mabilis s’yang tumango sa sinabi ko. Napangiti na lang ako. I suddenly remember myself at her age. At my age in ten, I’m that girl who’s just like other kids. A girl who dreamed of luxurious things before. Pero ngayong naabot ko na ang mga pangarap ko. Ngayong nagkaroon na ako ng sariling bahay, villa, sasakyan at mataas na posisyon sa gobyerno ay dito ko rin napagtanto ang mali sa pangarap ko noong bata pa ako.

I shouldn’t just dream of luxurious things before, instead I should’ve dream of having a priceless comfort under my family’s embrace. Because there’s no such luxurious things that can give you genuine happiness, except your family’s presence and love. It’s the only thing that can give you such happiness.

“Then mangarap ka Minoa at paghirapan mo ang lahat ng gusto mo. Huwag kang mag-alala isang araw ay maaabot mo rin iyon, basta huwag ka lang susuko. Chase your dreams. Use your principles to conquer it. Use your principles to create a wings that’ll enable you to fly. But remember this, when you are already flying, don’t let the wind take you even more high that you can’t even look back on the ground.”

|End of chapter 45|
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