𝐀𝐩𝐨𝐝𝐲𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 (𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘰𝘳 𝘳.𝘫. 𝘭𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘯)

ch15; sleeping under the stars

Sirius Black had broken into the castle and tried to get into the Gryffindor common room, for god knows what.
Marina couldn't deny that she was scared. I mean, who wouldn't be. Right now, all the student were on their way to the Great Hall where the entire school would sleep.

She and Aurora were both latching onto Oliver's arms, who pretended he wasn't scared but was shaking slightly. Marina wanted nothing more than to hold Remus right now, knowing he'd be the only one who could properly comfort her.

Upon arrival at the Great Hall, they saw the entire floor covered with sleeping bags. The few teachers present were talking in hushed voices while the prefects were helping students get to bed.

After picking out their sleeping bags, they laid down, wanting to get this night over with as quickly as possible.

Most students were starting to fall asleep, as silence swept over the Great Hall. Once again, Marina's mind started wandering towards Remus. He must be in complete misery right now, knowing his first love was wandering these halls with cruel intentions. The same halls were they had fallen in love. She made a mental note to hug him first thing they saw each other again.

Rolling on her back, her vision filled with the starts of the enchanted ceiling above her. It reminded of all the times her brother would wake her up in the middle of the night to go stargazing. They would lay on the grass and simply stare at the constellations in the sky, making up funny names for each one of them.

The same feeling of saudade swept over her. Her heart aching as a single tear rolled down her cheek. She stood up and looked across the dark room, looking for her best friend. In this moment, she wanted nothing more than to be comforted by Remus, but knew that wasn't possible. So, she went looking for Francisco.

She found him laying in the corner, trying to hide a cigarette. Not that it was working or anything, the smell was pretty obvious. But, luckily for him, the teachers had bigger things on their minds to notice.

"Francisco?", she whispered.

His eyes widened and looked around, visibly relaxing when he realised he wasn't in trouble. He put out the cigarette and prompted himself up on his elbows.

"What's up, Mar?"

"The ceiling, but that's not important right now."

Francisco rolled his eyes at her sarcastic response, but let her continue anyway.

"Can I sleep with you tonight. I can't stop thinking ab-about h-him"

His eyes softened, knowing exactly what was going on. So, he opened his sleeping bag more and said,

"Entrez-vous"

Crawling into the sleeping bag, she nuzzled into his arms. Together, they silently watched the stars above them, both slowly falling asleep.

Little did Marina know that Remus was watching from the other side of the room. He wasn't mad or disappointed, he knew how close she was with her friends. But it did make him sad, as it reminded himself that he couldn't give her the life she deserved. He wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms, make her feel safe. But he knew he couldn't, seeing as the were only supposed to be student and teacher here. And even after she finishes school, he won't be able to give her a good house, he won't be able to give her stability and he definitely won't be able to give her marriage or kids. He had decided this a long time ago, not wanting his kid to go through the same hell as him every month.

His mind started racing, questioning himself more and more. How would he be able to keep her safe when he is a monster himself. Or today, Sirius had broken into the castle and he wasn't next to her. What if she had run into him. He didn't even want to imagine losing her.

He came to a conclusion, an extremely painful one. He'd let her go. Only that way could she could find true happiness.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

Morning came around and after having spent almost an hour trying to convince Snape that they only hugged, Marina and Francisco were walking towards the Black Lake.

"God, that is one Gryffindor hating man. He hates me only because I hang out with you. He's a real arse, y'know"

Marina laughed, totally agreeing with her friend. They reached the lake and sat down underneath a big oak tree, staring out into the water.

A comforting silence fell over them. No words were necessary as they understood each other. Both were still shaken up from yesterday's events. In these kinds of silences they were able to process everything.

They sat like this for about a half hour, exchanging a few words here and there, before Marina stood up and said,

"I think I'm going to go look for Remus. I still haven't talked to him."

"Alright, give him a big kiss from me"

"Oh sod off"

While walking away she could hear Francisco's loud laughs, causing her to smile.

She arrived at the teacher's living quarters and found Remus' door. She knocked a few times but got no response.

"Remus"

Again, nothing.

She noticed the door was unlocked, so she opened it and walked in. What she found was a Remus with a puffy tear stained face, sitting against his bed on the floor, arms wrapped around his knees.

Then, he said 5 words that completely shuttered her heart to pieces.

"We can't do this anymore"