One Day At A Time

Chapter Thirty Four - On The Rocks (II)

"Yes! I walked out, Arnav! I left!" Khushi crackled like lightning on a pitch dark night. "I fucked up!"

The sudden bark of her voice startled Arnav, and his first reaction was to stiffen at the unexpected outburst. And then he was staring at her with glinting brown eyes and perfect stillness, watching her morph into a burning inferno within seconds of having flung those words at her.

"Is that what you've wanted me to say all this time? Because you sure as hell haven't missed a single opportunity to remind me of it ever since you set your fair, righteous and unerring feet on this land!" Anger surged violently, pumping the life right back into her frozen body. "What are you going to do about it now, Arnav? Kill me with your scathing remarks and taunts? What is it going to take to make it all go away like magic? Me grovelling at your feet? Me begging for some truce with you until we fly out of here? Or should I write down a hundred thousand times that I am sorry because I did what I felt was right according to me but unpardonable according to you?" Simmering all along on the verge of eruption, she had finally found the opening she had been waiting for, and she knew she wouldn't hold back now. "What the fuck do you want from me, Arnav? Because, honestly, I have about had it with this bloody blow hot-blow cold behaviour from you!"

She was trembling with fury, and she knew he could see it. For a split second, he looked as though he was about to say something to her. But then he closed his mouth, watching her eyes flash brightly with anger with his impassive ones that were now beginning to give way to spots of concern and worry inside them.

"And allow me to clarify something so that you have one less thing to wonder or worry about in your perfect life. I have not been making attempts to talk to you all this time because I want us to be together again. I just wanted to break the ice between us... maybe because it's hard to be hung in a state of constant friction like this, or maybe because I am getting frostbite from you every time I even look at you...or maybe it's simply because I am a bloody idiot!" She breathed shakily. "And bhaggu ji knows, after all this, I won't go out or get back with you even if you came to me gift-wrapped in rubies! I have too much damned respect for myself than you think!"

She took a few steps away from him because her legs were about to give away. Anger, as she had never known before, was making the blood fizz through her head, making her feel dizzy and light-headed. Shaking her head, she took the support of the worktop and leaned her quivering body against it. "What was that invitation to have tea with you for, Arnav? All this drama, just to have me in front of your eyes and then slice me off into pieces with cutting remarks to make your day worthwhile? Am I a bloody marionette for you?"

His face was caught by stillness, and for a moment, it worried her more than if he'd come charging like a bull at her. There had been no response from him other than deep worry set in his eyes. The unexpected silence from him had begun to unnerve her a bit. He was listening to her for a change, giving full attention to what she was saying. And this was something she had desperately wanted him to do years ago. Just the thought of it brought in a fresh wave of bitterness and hurt coursing through her blood.

"You were walking away from me on the hill that day when I was begging and pleading, Arnav! Do you have any idea how frightened I was at that moment? Kabir had opened up to you, and I was shaking to my roots wondering what part of it had you misunderstood because all I had seen in your eyes was raw mad anger like I had never seen before! I had no clue what he had told you, and you hadn't allowed me to open my mouth to ask! And just like that, you were walking away when I was ... drowning.. and you refused to lend me a hand as if you didn't care anymore!" It was such a painful moment to recount and relive that she felt the tears suddenly flood into her eyes even after four years.

She found his hands clenching into tight fists at his sides when he caught the glint of moisture in her eyes. But he said nothing, waiting patiently for her to go on. She could see his face looked grave, the smooth lines of his features so very still as if he had lost his ability to feel. His silence was stifling her, and she couldn't take it anymore. In a rush of sudden fury, she marched towards him and pressed her hands hard against his chest, pushing him backwards.