One Day At A Time

Chapter Twenty Three - Through The Wringer(4)

Remorse had shrouded Kabir's heart, and he was suffering. Pain seemed to have become a constant companion of late, stinging him with every breath, and he was beginning to get used to it. Khushi's parting words had been like a hurricane that had finally rocked his world and left it in ruins, leaving him devastated. The feeling of being dispensable to someone you thought you shared a beautiful relationship with was unbearable. He realised now, how far he had pushed her because of his behaviour, enough for her to give up on him completely. Regret came to him fiercely in quiet moments such as these, but he knew, no amount of tears or assessment of his deeds would turn the clock back for him. What had he achieved by behaving the way he had? What had he been thinking? How had things spiralled out of control from his hands so quickly? He had no answers to these questions anymore.

"What is it?" Shirley asked the moment she entered the green room of the auditorium and saw him sitting on the sofa, his head rested on the backrest facing the ceiling with his eyes closed. He appeared tired, troubled and vulnerable, and her heart ached for him. She gave him a few moments to respond, but when he didn't, she prodded. "What's wrong? What did she say?"

His shoulders stiffened for a moment. "It's not always about her, Shirls." He said in a barely audible voice and fell silent once again.

"What's bothering you? Nervous about the show?"

"No." He opened his eyes and straightened up to face her. "It's just that I've just quit smoking and —" He saw her face change the moment he uttered the words. Her eyes lit up instantly like a Christmas tree, and he did not miss her superhuman effort in holding back a smile which was desperate to bloom on her lips. "—the withdrawals are killing me." He finished with a faintest of smiles touching his eyes, half-amused with her reaction, and half surprised that it had made her so happy.

"God bless her." She murmured and stared at the papers in her hands.

Raw hurt shone in his eyes, and suddenly his voice was tight with anger.

"I told you, it's not always about her."

"I thought—" She caught the words between her teeth as she arranged the papers in order. "Did you have dinner?" She asked quickly changing the subject and handed over the sheets to him.

Kabir took the papers from her and shook his head. Shirley wasn't pleased but chose to stay quiet. "You want me to get you a coffee or something? Some samosas with it? The mint chutney here is—"

"Coffee is a horrible substitute, Shirls." He let out a big sigh and skimmed through the song sheets in his hands.

She was expecting a straightforward dismissal and was pleasantly surprised to see him indulging her instead. "There can be no substitute for poison, Kabir." She said flatly.

"True." He glanced at her. "So, you ready?"

"Been for a while." She smiled sheepishly, a faint blush blooming on her cheeks unexpectedly.

"Stop the cheesy flirting, Shirls." He said, dragging his attention back to the papers in hand while suppressing a smile he thought would never grace his lips after what was happening in his life of late.

"I wasn't aware I was allowed to flirt." She raised her eyebrow at him, a giggle tickling her throat.

He looked into her eyes which were rapidly blinking at him. "Stop."

"Stop what?" She smiled as she got to her feet and stood looking at him.

"This—this play with the words." He said, his eyes evading hers like always.

"It's too serious to be called play, Kabir."

"There!" He said, pointing his index finger at her. "You are doing it again and—"