mizpah | dream smp [discontinued]

⌠𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒻𝒾𝓋𝑒⌡

𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝒶𝑔𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓃𝑔 𝓃𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃, 𝓌𝑒'𝓁𝓁 𝒷𝓁𝑒𝑒𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒻𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓎𝑜𝓊, 𝓌𝑒'𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝒾𝓉 𝓇𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓎𝑜𝓊.

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to fundy

my dearest fundy, 

how are you? i wish that you are better off than i, as you stay protected in l'manburg. i hope no harm comes your way. 

this book or letter, however it is perceived, is directed to updating you on my and wilbur's wellbeing. i will be honest in this book as much as possible, as i hate to have to keep secrets. i cannot tell you where i am now, my child. i am deeply apologetic. 

i am doing as well as i can be. i can assure you that i am safe, hidden away from both l'manburg and the dream smp. i know i am not banished, but i may as well be. it is not safe for me in our country, either. 

we live in a commune, someplace closed off. i have met someone new, a friend that is truly interested in literature and shares my love of mythology. i recently learned that i can recite the iliad to memory. it's exciting that i can remember something, and so expanse as well. 

i have been getting increasing accounts of deja vu feelings, but they are as vivid as memories but the feelings are certainly there. i cannot believe i had imagined wilbur owning a trenchcoat to replace his revolutionary clothes, but now i see him and i am still in shock at it. 

your dad is doing as well as he can be after losing a life. he's gone a bit reserved and doesn't even dare to go outside unless necessary. i wish we could go to the docks again, i miss looking out into the water and chatting with the both of you. that one day will always be special to me, fundy, my child. 

your father scares me sometimes as well. i believe i cannot tell even these concerns to him in fear of losing him. i trust you will not use this information to schlatt, as my fear for him is even greater. wilbur is distant, aloof, and nearly always wearing a mask of contentedness. of course, i know it isn't real. i can see it in his eyes by the way they've hardened. the eyes are a window of true intent. 

nearly the opposite of the ones of schlatt, i'd say. the only time i had held eye contact with him, i saw nothing but darkness. there was no gleam, almost as there was no life to them. i am truly terrified of that man. wilbur still has that gleam, and i hope it never dulls, for i fear i would lose him forever after. 

i know you are not too fond of your father, but he is solemn. he would never say this to you, but he cares as if you were his world. he may have been unable to be there for you, now more than ever, but he cares more than he wants to admit. i recall him mentioning you as his light, just before he gushed about his "wittle baby fox dutch boy". 

i know you abhor the gushing and childish treatment, but it's his way of caring for you. i imagine he wishes he was able to have been more present in your childhood. you may hate your father for all the things he's done up to this point, but please remember when i say he loves you as if you were his own phillip hamilton. 

back to my fears, i hope not to burden you of, as i can handle them myself. i am afraid for the people in our commune. tommy has lost his discs and no way to get them back as of yet. he wakes wilbur and i up nearly every morning at the bright eighth hour of the day. concerningly, i say nearly. he would usually do so every day until we were banished. he misses tubbo unimaginably and sometimes compares the things i say to that of the words of tubbo. i miss the sweet boy as well. 

i've already told you my concerns over wilbur, but the last occurrence i am afraid of happening is the loss of his sanity. i do my best to keep him jovial in this time, but as soon as i see his tired and overworked face break his facade, i begin to lose hope. i know that you have figured by now that your father and i have an intimate relationship that i wish to hold together, and i fear that the seams are being pulled apart as he faces his unfinished symphony of l'manburg. 

i would say that i dearly love him. 

this may be a bit unsightly for you, but i wish for you to know. i would hope i stay your mother figure long enough to legally become such. my dearest fundy, i love you as the sun could love the moon at the beginning of each sunset and sunrise. 

please, write back and have niki bring me something to check on you. even if it is a single hello or a talk about your day, i would adore hearing from you. 

i hope to see you on the other side of this war. i promise, we'll make it right for you.

lovingly yours, mellona.  

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