Sacred Madness

XXXIV. Confessions

It was half past two in the morning and Gun was still up waiting for Mark to return. Recently, he had picked up the latter's habit of smoking. He just tried it once because he misses Mark's scent and the next thing he knew, it became the thing that was keeping him awake until the break of dawn.

Mark has been acting strange lately, Gun had noticed. He often comes home late, he doesn't even send him to work anymore or even pick him up after, at least. At first, Gun didn't mind because Mark might just be busy with his studies, but he had dinner with his friends earlier and none of them had even seen Mark at school.

Maybe Gun has been too dependent on Mark that only seeing him for couple of minutes a day for a whole week wasn't really enough. He didn't hear his voice enough, he didn't inhaled enough of his scent and he didn't touch him enough.

Gun immediately shook a familiar thought that was slowly consuming his head. He doesn't want those thoughts anymore so he took a drag of the cigarette and laughed at himself.

"Babe?"

Gun immediately turned towards the entrance and he saw Mark walking in after closing the door. "Why are you still awake? Its almost 2 a.m."

Gun instantly stood up before walking towards Mark. "I just wanted to wait for you. You've been very busy this whole week and I missed having dinner with you."

Mark felt guilty with what he's heard but his attention immediately shifted to the cigarette in between Gun's fingers.

"When did you sta...?" Gun didn't let him finish his sentence as he planted a soft, quick kiss on Mark's lips. He gave him the half finished cigarette before walking towards the fridge. Mark was taken aback with Gun's action but he didn't question him any further. He just sat down on the couch and put off the cigarette on the ashtray. He watched as Gun took out a box of pizza and two bottles of beer. "I wanted to make you dinner but you know I'm not good at cooking so..., is this cold pizza fine with you?"

Mark just shook his head, feeling even more guilty. "I'm sorry baby, its just that, school has been so tough lately."

"I know babe and its okay. I understand." Gun assured before sitting down next to him. "By the way, do you have time tomorrow? Its my off and I want to visit mom and Kris."

"Yes babe, of course." Mark replied before pulling Gun towards him and wrapping him in his arms.

Gun didn't say anything, he just let Mark's warmth melt all the coldness that he has been feeling lately.

"Just hang in there baby. I will get us out of here." Mark said softly in his ears.

Gun looked up to him. "What do you mean babe? Were fine just like this."

"No, this is not the life I want for you," Mark insisted.

"But this is all I've ever wanted." Gun replied instantly.

"You're not doubting my love, aren't you?"

Gun was even more confused with what Mark has stated. "Of course not. Didn't you just hear what I said?"

"I did. I'm just making sure." Mark replied and this time, he initiated the kiss. The older boy responded on an impulse, grabbing him by the collar and deepening the kiss. Gun has sure been addicted lately, and he's not referring to the nicotine.

Mark and Gun bought some flowers before going to the cemetery. When they got there, they saw two bundles of withering flowers  in both of Kris' and their mother's graves.

"I think dad has just found out about Kris," Gun immediately concluded judging from the flowers which was messily gathered and tied into two separate bunch. It was obviously from the same bouquet that was divided into two.