Twin Flame // Fred Weasley

50

A/N: HOW ARE WE AT CHAPTER 50 ALREADY?!?!?! You guys, there was soooo many mixed reviews about Eliza and Iris in the last chapter haha! Soooo, all I'm going to say is, there will be some Iris x Eliza smut BUT not in this book! I'm going to write them a one shot in my one shot book when I've completed and edited Twin Flame soooo, keep a watch out for that. This way we can all be winners :) 

Also, I'm currently doing a Q&A over on my instagram so follow me over there to get involved - @sylv_ia0

Iris' POV 

Eliza's lips were alien. It was all wrong. Her lips against mine were like snow in July, a beautiful phenomenon, but fundamentally and inherently wrong. Any lips that weren't his were nonsensical to me. I couldn't move against her mouth, I couldn't reciprocate her kiss, it went against everything I knew, everything that was right. Pushing her away was like instinct, it was natural; because kissing her just wasn't right. That didn't stop the guilt that chipped away at me as I saw her face fall when I backed away. Her eyes fixated on her lap where her hands were wringing together anxiously, brows furrowed, biting the inside of her cheek furiously. 

"Eliza-" I breathed, daring her to look at me, needing her to laugh and tell me that it was some sort of sick prank to cheer me up. That never came. 

"I-I'm sorry-" she stammered, glancing up at me before burying her head in her hands. 

"I just don't understand, Eliza. W-why would you-"

"Because I'm in love with you, Iris!" 

My mind went fuzzy at her words, my fractured heart thrumming against my chest like the hum of an earthquake. She couldn't possibly be. I didn't need this. I didn't need more complications in my life. Eliza had been one of the only things that had felt permanent, one of the only things left of my old life, she had been my escape, my solace, and now it seemed as though I was just another person closer to complete isolation. 

What had I done? Why was the universe taking all the people I held dearest away from me? It was like some sick game of cat and mouse; my heart was the mouse and it was dangerously close to capture. 

"No-" I huffed, my head shaking in disbelief, "y-you c-can't be-"

"I never meant to-" she went to grab my hand but I snatched it away. 

"Why? Why would you do this, Eliza? How am I supposed to carry on without you-" 

I felt the panic rise in my throat as I pictured everyone slipping away from me; my father was dying, Fred felt like a distant memory, and now Eliza was slipping too. 

"You don't have to, Iris," she cooed, edging towards me, "I shouldn't have kissed you, I shouldn't have said anything-" 

"You're right," I snapped, "you shouldn't," 

Hurt flashed across her features at my harsh tone, my anger dissipated to guilt; 

"I'm sorry, I know you can't help it," I sighed, "it's just- how are we supposed to- how can I be normal with you when I know? E-everything is different now-"

"No, Iris. It doesn't have to be. I still want to be here for you. You can't do this alone-"

"But how can I come here knowing my presence is going to do nothing but hurt you? That isn't fair,"

"You deserve to be selfish sometimes Iris. Please. You're already a shell of yourself, y-you can't continue without support. Please, just let me be there for you. I've been handling my feelings for long enough-"

"You shouldn't have to do that-"

"I want to. Above all else you're still my best friend," she took my hand; I let her this time, "just because you know I love you in more ways than one doesn't mean things have to change. I'm sorry, I let the heat of the moment cloud my judgement, it was selfish of me to kiss you while you were vulnerable, it just kills me to see you hurting, especially when I know I could treat you better-" 

"Don't-" I snapped, anger now bubbling in my chest, I tried to swallow it down. "don't dare bring Fred into this. He's hurting, Eliza, he can't help that he's distant, he's just reacting, like any normal person would. He's going through hell. Frankly, I couldn't give a shit about how he's 'treating me'. He's in pain, and as much as he pushes me away I will always go back to him, he needs me. He's always been amazing to me, so don't give me the mistreatment bullshit-" 

"You should care about how he treats you-" 

"He's been sexually assaulted! The last thing on either of our minds right now is romance! This is a real relationship, Eliza, this is what real fucking love is, I'd get tortured a hundred times over for that man. God, if he told me a thousand times over that he never wanted to see me again I'd still wait for him. Don't act like you know anything about our relationship-"

"I know everything about your relationship!" She bit back, "You come here, you use me as a shoulder to cry on and you tell me about how shitty your relationship is. I'm just saying I could treat you how you deserve to be treated!" 

"Oh, I can't fucking listen to this," I spat, "I'm going. Thanks for being just another person to lose," 

"God, you give everything to him, soon there'll be none of yourself left to give-"

"I don't fucking care, Eliza. That's the point. I'll continue to give him every part of me until there is nothing left, until I'm skin and bone and nothing else. I don't give a fuck about myself. It's just him!" 

"Do you know how fucking crazy and unhealthy that is?" 

"Clearly, Eliza, you don't love me like you claim, because if you did you would know exactly what I meant-" 

Before she could even respond, I withdrew my wand and apparated away, landing with a thud in my living room, checking on my father and relieving Elaine of her duties before I locked myself in my room and cast the silencing spell. 

I screamed. I screamed, and I screamed, and I screamed. Until my voice was nothing but a whisper and my throat burned and my ears rang. When I could scream no more my anger sank to my fists and I attempted to drain my fury against the walls, pounding my hands against them until they bled and throbbed and my natural instinct betrayed my need to feel. Then I took whatever objects I could find and I threw with force disproportionate to my weak frame. I revelled in the chaos, the mess of the destruction around me was cathartic, like a beautiful fucking storm. Shards of glass rained around me like a calamitous monsoon, I welcomed it. 

There was nothing left but myself to destroy. I wondered if I could give the universe the satisfaction. Clearly, it sought my demise. But my eyes landed on a photo of my father, perfectly upright atop the mountain of mayhem I had created in my onslaught, and suddenly my heart softened. He needed me, and I'd patch myself up for as long as that was the case. 

------

Days passed. I lost myself in the care of my father, ensuring everything was meticulously done. I couldn't lose him now. Not yet. I didn't see Fred. I ignored Eliza's attempts to contact me.  Letters upon letters piled up on my bedside, I'd stopped checking who they were from at this point. I buried myself in my father's care, giving him everything, losing myself in his needs. I busied away my thoughts of Fred and Eliza - as long as my mind was occupied I was fine. 

Nights were the worst. 

Sleep was once a thing I had deemed a beautiful phenomenon; now, I hated it. I hated that I couldn't fight away the subconscious thoughts of imminent loss that tantalised my dreams. So, I'd stay awake, drink coffee and Red Bull and sort paper work and read medication leaflets and research cancers until I collapsed from exhaustion and awoke with a start, panting heavily as my mind reeled from nightmares that faded into a just as terrifying reality. 

My sanity held onto one thing, a thread as bare and feeble as a daydream; my father.