36. The games we play

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Sofia


With Alejandro gone for a day, I too had to prepare for my visit to Spain. Knowing Santos well, if I told him about my travel plans, he would worry about the unexplained visit and try to dig for more information.

Our plan was based on a simple understanding - land and check on our allies in Spain without anyone coming to know of our presence.

Also, I wanted Santos to meet Aurelia properly after I sat him down and told him about her. Hence this trip was purely scheduled for business. Once Alejandro would return, we would travel again and make Aurelia meet her Uncle.

I wanted my baby girl to see where I grew up. I wanted her to learn what I spoke and eat what I consumed. Although Aurelia was fluent in Spanish, I wanted her to have a taste of Spain, of the backyard where Santos and I spent hours, trying to find gold in the dirt.

Someone tugged on my dress.

I knew instantly that my little ninja had entered the room.

Aurelia had turned from a shy girl to a kid hopped up on sugar. She ran around the house and pulled pranks on our housemaids. Being too much to handle, even our security staff members had to hide their guns for her safety.

"When will you come back?" was the question my daughter decided to ask, plunging a knife into my heart. "First papa left and now you. Why are you both leaving me?"

It was impossible to explain to her the reason for the travel. She would be officially indicted to the cartel when she would come of age but for now, all I could state was the lie.

"I will come back as soon as the job is done. And I will bring you lots of toys."

My reply wasn't satisfactory enough for my little princess who dragged her toy on the floor and hopped on the chair near the window, looking away.

"Is there something I did that you are papa are leaving?"

Her gaze intensified, brimming with tears. Somehow fighting through them, she watched me.

I sat at the bedside, heavy with the thought that thought Aurelia seemed happy and cheerful from the outside, she was still scared. Scared of us abandoning her.

Gesturing for her to come closer, I raised my hand.

After moments of reluctance, Aurelia placed her toy on the chair and walked over. Every nerve in my body pricked me. The maternal attire I donned conveyed the pain in my daughter's heart.

By the time Aurelia stood next to me, the pain elevated to my throat, pricking me from speaking.

"Do you know what your papa and I wanted the most?" I asked, holding her tiny, soft hands in mine. With her soft nod, I pulled her over my lap. "We both always wanted a family but due to some reasons, we couldn't."

Aurelia tugged her head over my chest as if she was getting ready for a nighttime read. "So you did not have a baby like Aunty Val?"

Tears formed at the corner of my eyes.

"No. I never had a baby." With determination to make my daughter feel better, I picked her fallen face. "But now I knew there was a reason for it."

"What reason?"

"God had made you for me. I have you. Al has you. You are our family now, Reli..."

"But I am not a baby, mama." With innocence in her voice, Aurelia wiped away my tears. "Am I still your baby?"

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