Dragon Wars: Flames Of Pain (Book 3)

Chapter 6 (Josephs PoV) Important

I looked at the tub that was in front of me... I had already taken off my clothes, but for some reason, I was hesitant to get in to the warm water that was beneath me. I was not so sure as to what it could be, that could be going on with me right now.
I felt alone, but at the same time, I knew that I was not. I had my sister, and the love of my life with me every day. I was not sure what it was... Well... Maybe I was lying to myself on that part... I knew what it was. I was alone, because I had lost my mother.
She really was an important part in my life, for a long time. I had thought that she would still be by my side, even after the fact that I had left home, but instead of that, she had been killed in front of the eyes of my father. I felt bad for my father as well...
He was by far, not the best father in the world, not the worst either I suppose, though at times, before the world had ended in front of me, it seemed like he was. I knew that he loved her so much though, and I knew that he now regrets every moment that he wasted with her, also wasted...
It was not just that though, there was also the fact that the world was alone. It was not just me that felt that way, it was the whole world around me. Every one that I knew was different now, and I was not sure if it were for the better, or for the worse. Nothing would ever be the same after this ended.
It would end at some point I hoped, and I also hoped that it would end with humanity still alive. As much as I did not like a lot of people, I also knew at the same time as well, that even with a bunch of not so nice people around you, at least they were still people, and they were still there.
Things would not be the same, at least for a long time, even after all of this ended. People still would not trust going outside... The world was gone now, and it felt like there was very little hope left in it. I shook my head at the same time as well though, as I knew that I needed to shake all of those thoughts from out of my head.
I was naked, as I looked at the mirror that was in front of me. I had nearly completely forgot as to what it was that I was doing, before I got trapped in my head. I turned my head back over to the bath tub, and then I nodded to myself, as I slowly slid myself in to the tub.
I sat there for just a few seconds, as I then just closed my eyes. I did not just want to straight up get rid of any, and all thoughts in my head. I did enjoy just thinking to myself from time to time, but these thoughts that I had been having for a long time, were not of the enjoyable delight.
I sat there, as I enjoyed the warmth of the water that I was soaked in. It felt so good, and it was very cleansing on my skin. I manage to crack a bit of a smile as well, which was very rare for me now a days. The warm water really made me feel a lot better, not just to the body, but to the mind as well.
I sat there for quite some time, as I dipped my head completely in, to wet my hair, and clean it off a bit. It made me feel a lot better doing that too. I wish that I could just live in a bath tub my whole life some times. But I had to realize that, it was not really a life worth living.
There was a whole world that was around me, and a lot of people were looking up at me, expecting me to do some great things. It kind of scared me as well... I had a fear of failure, and of letting a lot of people down. I shivered, though I was warm...
I knew that I could not let myself get trapped in those thoughts either. If there was one thing that my mom had taught me, it was always to have a positive view in life. If I had a positive view, than positive things would in fact happen to me.
Some times, it felt like that was not true, but I always knew that was the negative side taking over me. I pulled my head out of the water, as it felt as if I had been in there for a very long time. I was by no means drowning, but it sure felt like I had been in there for a whole life time and a half.
As I pulled my head out of the water, I looked around at the dark room that I was in. The only light that was in here, came from the window that was mostly closed by a blanket. I felt like I needed a dark room to be in right now, it seemed like not very much light was coming my way.
I shook my head once again, as I knew that was my negative attitude taking over me once again. I closed my eyes, as there was not all that much to see in here for me any ways. I knew if my mom was still around, she would want me to be like this.
She would want me to save the world... No... She would know that I would save the world. It was my time now, and there were a lot of people looking up to me, with a smile... With hope... It felt like there was not much of that left... I had to do the best with what I had.
I squinted my eyes a bit rough, though they were already closed, as I thought of some thing that startled me quite a bit. If there were so many people in my family that knew about the dragons, and were supposed to play a key role in saving humanity, than why did she not tell me about it?
She did not even tell my father about it either, which was even bigger of a surprise to me. It did not make sense to me at all... Even if I tried to think that maybe she had not even known about them, not event that seemed to make all that much sense to me.
I know that she knew about them, as my father had told me that she had known the exact name of the dragon that had slain her. I closed my eyes, even rougher than before, as I thought of it like that. It made me feel absolutely sick...
Why had she not told me and Mariah about it? That part did not make sense to me... Was she trying to make sure that we stayed innocent to all of it? Did she not know that they would be coming for us anyways? Would she not want us to have at least some sort of chance of that was the case?
I shook my head once again, as I knew that I was asking too many questions, and I knew that I could not answer them at all either. Maybe I could ask John, but I more than likely would not get a solid answer from him either.
I lifted myself up at the same time as well, as I then put my hand over to the plug, to unplug the drain, so that all of the water that was in the tub, would now leak out of it. I shook my head, as I just laid down for a few moments longer, just still thinking to myself.
I knew that I should not, but I could not help it. It was all so scary to me, and still, I woke up almost every day, thinking to myself, if this was all just some sort of dream. I knew it was not though, and at some point, I would have to face the hard truth.
I was lucky so to say... If you wanted to call it that at least... I could have lost a lot more than I had... Hell... I had been told already, of some of the horrible ways that some of the legion mates, family, or close friends, had been torn apart in front of their eyes.
I could only imagine that... I had seen some pretty messed up stuff, when we had run out of the city... I had also seen Pop die right in front of my eyes, but as far as what I had been told by other people, I had the easy side of things to say the least.
A lot of that also had to do with the fact that I had been with John, and we had just been hiding in the woods for nearly the last 2 years. I also had to realize the fact that people had lost their whole families, while I still had my dad, my sister, Uncle, and even my girl friend to say the least.
I shook my head, as I wanted to get my thoughts from off of that topic, as I then pulled myself out of the tub, and quickly put a towel on me, as the air in the room was quite cold, especially if you took in the fact that I had been sitting in a warm tub for the last however long.
I sat myself down on the toilet, as this time, instead of closing my eyes, and thinking to myself for any longer, I just stared down at the ground, and at the tile that was below me. Having my eyes open, was certainly a lot better than letting them close on me.
After a bit longer, of me just sitting down on the toilet, for quite some time, I then picked myself up, and stood there for a little while, until I remembered what it was that I had been planning on doing before all of this. I stared at the wall this time, just for a little while, until it then hit me.
That was right... I had to put my clothes on, as luckily Julia had taught me to just leave my clothes in the bathroom at night, hung up, so that they did not ruffle up, so that they would be ready for me in the morning, once I got out of the extra long baths that I took.
This bath did not seem to take as long as the last couple of ones had took... I was just a bit tired of thinking to myself for long periods of time. It really got me very stressed out, and that was some thing that I did not need, nor did I want in my life at the moment.
I made sure that my hands, and the rest of my body were dry, and then I reached over to grab my clothes, as I slowly began to put them on. Since I had a short bath, I could just take my time going down the stairs, as I knew that John would be waiting for me, as he usually was.
I knew that I should not being doing that, as to the fact that what he was teaching me, was very important in fact. I was just so tired after every day of him teaching me some things, as even in the cold time of the year, when we had less day light time, I still always went to my room tired.
I was lucky, unlike the rest of the people that were here in the legion, at least, to the fact that I got to go in the house, and have some warm, and good food ready for me. Most of the legion had to make their own food off the fly most days, with what they had.
At least it was better than what we had eaten, before we had gotten to Adrian's place. I never wanted to go back to that, as long as I had the choice. I shook my head, as I knew those were better thoughts than what I had been thinking about earlier, but it was still not where my mind needed to be right now.
John had told me last night, before I had gone up the stairs, to go to my room and get some rest, that I needed to be ready for tomorrow, well, today now I suppose. I wondered what he had meant by that... Was he going to put me up to some sort of test?
I shook my head, as I knew that I should not bw worried about all of that, until the time had come. I just needed to know, that I had to be up, and I had to be expecting something important to happen to me today. I could not go down the stairs, feeling light headed.
I put all of my clothes on, as well as my socks, and my shoes, though I knew that I technically was told specifically not to wear them in the house, I figured that I would be okay this time. I knew that Adrian's wife only told us that, as she did not like the floor to get all messy.
I was not going to do that though, as I always walked up the stairs, and I made sure to clean up my shoes. I knew that I was a leader, and technically I did not need to do that, as I could get new shoes whenever I pleased. That was not the case for the rest of the legion however.
I wanted to set a good example to all of them, that they should clean off their shoes, after a long day of work, especially on a muddy day like yesterday, and I had to figure it would be the same today as well, as it did not look like the sun had popped out that much, to get rid of all of the water.
I shook my head, as I opened my bed room door, and then I began walk down the very long hallway that was ahead of me. I looked behind me, as I was at least lucky that I did not have a room that went any further down than the one that I had.
I shook my head though, as I also knew that I should be grateful to have a room in the first place, and I was not like the rest of the legion, that had to sleep in tents every night. I had to deal with that for over a year, and I was lucky that I did not have that anymore.
I shook my head, as I then turned my head back over to where I was walking, as I continued my way across the hallway. As I began to get closer the the stair way, suddenly, I familiar face popped up. I looked at her, and then I smiled to my sister, as she began to speak to me.
"Come on Joseph! John needs you down here! He says its important!"