Dragon Wars: Flames Of Pain (Book 3)

Chapter 25: You Got This (Josephs POV)

I looked around for a couple of moments, as my stress, and my anxiety levels were about to burst through the roof. I did my best to hide it from them, as I looked away from all of the people that were at the table, staring at me, as if they were waiting for me to say some thing to all of them.
I was nervous to talk to just a few people in this room right now, so I had no clue how I was going to talk to over a thousand people out there. I felt a bit sick, as I looked over to John, and saw him just roll his eyes at me, as if he had forgot what I had told him about how I was im public venues.
I closed my eyes at the same time too, as I remembered what it was the my mother had told me about this. It was not just the fact that it was me going to talk in front of a bunch of people at a public place, but it was also the fact that I needed this for a lot of things, such as jobs, and other things.
I squeezed in my eyes, as I hated to think back on my mother, as one, it was the fact that I had loved her so much, and she had been killed, but also it was the fact that she had also lied to me all this time, about there being no such thing as a dragon, and other mystical creatures.
I began to wonder, that if dragons were in fact real, than would that mean that all of the other creatures that I had been told about, were real as well? It kind of scared me to think about it, as my father would always joke with me, that there was an orc under my bed, and it would scare the night lights out of me.
Many days I could not fall asleep, due to my father telling me things such as that. I knew it was a joke, or at least, I hoped that it was, as I was not sure what was real now a days. I shook my head at the same time too, as I knew that I had to get all of those thoughts from out of my head, at the same time as well.
My father, in fact, was in the room with me, at this very moment, as I opened my eyes, and then I looked at him at the same time too. I saw that he had a bit of a guilty look on his face, which I was not all too sure what it was for, as I tilted my head a little bit.
By now, a lot of people had taken their eyes away from me, as it seemed like they might have given up on me, which did not help my anxiety levels at all either. I blinked a few times, as I knew that I needed not to be worried about all of them, as I continued to stare at my father, who I could tell, noticed me doing so as well.
I did not care about it though, as I was still at a bit of a genuine loss for words, as to why they had let him in here in the first place. I knew that John had seen first hand, what he had been like after the fact that we had lost my mother. He also should have heard the stories about him being a drunken bastard as well.
I knew that there was a few people in the legion, that knew him from the city, as it was not hard for them to have his story go around that area. I could tell by some of the looks in peoples eyes, when they got near him, as they thought he was going to attack him, or perhaps he could even be drunk.
It was as if they had all forgot about the fact that dragons were in fact real, and he was the one that in fact did not kill my mother. I blinked a few times, as all of the sudden, my father lifted his head up to the people that were at the table as well.
I was a bit confused, and a bit surprised by it, as I saw that all of the people that were at the table right now, felt the same way as I did. My father shook off all of the looks of the people that were staring at him, as he was by far, certainly a lot better at all of this than I was.
I tilted my head a bit, as I was a fair bit interested in what he was doing, as it was clear that he was about to speak. I was just worried that he was going to speak bad on me, like he did with the people that he hung around with, when he was at the bar. I shook off all of those thoughts though, as I listened to him, as he began to speak up.
"Please forgive my son, Joseph, he does not like to speak up in front of a lot of people, as it kind of freaks him out... That is what he is so worried about... He is not worried about what to say..." He said to all of them, as he said exactly what it was that was going through my head at the current moment.
I was grateful for him, for that, as well. It was one of the first times that I was in fact proud of my dad, for stepping up, and helping me at a time such as this. He looked at me for a little while longer, as he cracked a bit of a smile on his face, and then he nodded right back over to me.
I blinked a few times, as I then nodded back to him as well, suddenly. I then turned my head to all of the people that were in the room right now, as I heard a lot of loud voices speaking to each other, all at the same time, and it was a bit hard for me to distinguish a single one of them, and hear what it was that they were saying.
I gulped as I was not sure what to do now, as I almost just wanted to walk out of the tent, and go back home, and get some sleep. Though I had slept at least 8 hours a night, it sure as hell did not feel like I had to me, over the last couple of years. I hated the fact that I saw dragons in my dream, as I knew that was the reason I got such poor sleep.
I lowered my head to the ground for a few moments, as I was in fact genuinely thinking about doing so. It felt like that there was a lot of people staring at me right now, as if they were waiting for me to speak, and they had forgot all that my father had said to them, just a few moments ago.
At the very least, I knew that John was staring at me, as I continued to stare down at the ground, as I did my best to ignore him. He had made me promise that I was not going to do such as this, and I felt like I had no other choice, but to agree to the promise that he had made me buy in to.
I was pretty sure that he had know just as I had, that I was going to be this way no matter what. I let out a bit of a sigh at the same time too, as I listened to all of the voices speaking up around the room at the same time. It was a lot longer than before, or it at least felt like it had been.
It was as if people were thinking of what to say to me, but they were not so sure what it was that they could say, that would even help me all that much. I felt a bit sick, and a bit afraid, as if I was a little boy again. Some times I felt like that as well, as I knew that I did in fact certainly act like it at times.
I closed my eyes, as I did my best to try to drown out all of the voices that were speaking around me at the current moment. It seemed to do a fair bit of justice as well, until I heard one voice in particular, speak up, among all of the other voices that were in the room, as the rest of the room went dead silent when they heard the man talking.
I almost wanted to keep my eyes closed, and pretend that none of this was real at all, but I knew that I could not do so. I lifted my head up, and turned it over to the man that was behind me, who was speaking to me. I saw that it was in fact Johns deputy, Travis, as I listened to what it was that he had to say at the same time too.
"The meeting was short of this reason Joseph... You just have to believe in your self son... You have a lot of people that believe in you, so you need to prove your worth to the world..." He said to me. I looked at Travis for just a few moments as I knew that he had spoken directly to me.
I was not sure how to handle what it was that he had just said how ever, as a part of me just wanted to dip my head down to the ground again, but at the same time, I also knew that it would be a mistake, and it would be a bad look for me as well, if I were to in fact due as such.
I knew that all of the people that were with me in the room at the moment, were all staring at me, but I did not dare turn my head around to all of them. I had not a clue as to how I was going to get through all of this, as I felt like I was going to royally fuck up all of this some how.
I blinked a few times, as I stared back at Travis, at the same time too, as I felt like a part of what it was that he had just said to me, began to rejuvenate, and make me feel a lot more self confident. I looked at him for a while, as I could tell that he noticed it from me as well, as he cracked a little bit of a smile.
I smiled right back over to him, as I then knew what it was that I had to do next, as I immediately turned my head to all of the people that were staring at me, directly at the table. I blinked, as a part of me just wanted to go dig my self in to a whole, like I had done to my self a few moments before now.
I held my head up high, and I stayed strong how ever, as I felt good as to the fact that my father had finally stood up for me, kind of, at least, for once. I also knew who I was, and the powers that I had, but I had not gotten to use quite yet. I knew that a lot of people were looking up to me, but so what?
I needed to prove my self to them, as I knew that what my mother had told me was right as well. I could not live a life where I was afraid to talk to a bunch of people. Even if they were people that I did not know, I doubt that they would go back home, and make fun of me to their entire family.
They might feel bad for me, but I doubt that was the case at all. Besides, I would never have to worry about those people ever again either. These people were a bit different, as I would in fact have to get to know all of them, but I knew that they were not going to judge me, nor were they going to laugh at me.
I then nodded to my self, as I shook off all of those thoughts at the same time as well, as I looked at all of the people that were at the table with me, one by one, and then I decided that I was finally ready to speak up to them, as I did in fact do so in the end.
"Thank you for the help all of you, even if it was not much... You are right... I do not to trust my self... It is not a big deal what I am about to say, so there is no reason for me to freak out." I said to all of them. I saw a lot of people roll their eyes at me, as I saw that a couple of them did not seem to care at all, as to what I had just said.
It was more said to my self, as I felt like I needed to at least go out and say that I was no longer scared of all of this. There was a lot of things that I should be afraid of right now, and speaking up to a bunch of people that were just as angry as me, should be no detriment to me at all.
There was silence in the tent again, as I saw that there was in fact a few smiles from a few people, that seemed to be happy for me, my father included in to that, which still felt a bit strange to me, as I was always so used to him seeming to hate me, and to hate being any where near me as well.
I blinked a couple of times, as I noticed that no one had their eyes on me any longer, which I was a bit confused about, but at the same time, my anxiety told me that I should be relieve by it. I shook off those thoughts, as I was not sure what to do next, or who it was that I should turn my head over to.
That question that I had begun to worry about, did not take long to answer at all how ever, as I heard a familiar voice speak up to me, or rather, to all of us, from not all too far away. I blinked a few times, as I turned my head over, to see who it was, that had done so it the first place.
I saw that it was John, as he had his eyes squinted at me, just as I had felt like he had been doing all this time that I had been in the room with him. I knew that a lot of this had to do with him as well, as I had a slight bit of a memory of him telling me that I needed to not mess this up.
I shook my head though, as I stared back at him, though I did not squint my eyes at him, like he was doing to me. He turned his head away from me, as soon as I had done so, and over to the rest of the people that were in the room with us, at the current moment in time.
It always felt a bit weird, and strange to me as well, as to the fact that it seemed like he always did that, even when it was just us in the room. I shook off all of those thoughts at the same time as well, as he began to speak, and I listened, to hear what it was that he had to say.
"Alright every one... Lets all get out of this tent... Its time to start the little meeting out side..." He said to all of them, as it began to scare me, the fact that he considered this a bit of a little meeting. It did not scare me for right now, but it scared me for the future at the same time too.
I knew that I would have the people in here, to help me think on what it was that I should say to them, which I had to assume was going to be mainly for when we were about to go in to battle. I did not even think on what it was that I was going to say to boost the morale of all of my troops, when that did come to pass, indeed.
I blinked a few times, as I shook off all of those thoughts, as I saw that all of the people that had been at the table, were now getting off of their chairs, so that they could go out side, and ready them selves for the, small meeting, as John would like to call it, for the first time that I was about to speak to thousands of people.
I watched as every one that had been in the tent with us, began to walk out of it, as my father went past me, and put his hand on my shoulder, as he gave me a bit of a quick nod at the same time as well. I nodded back to my father, as I turned my head around, at the same time as well, as I watched as he followed the others out of the tent.
I stared at the now closed door way for just a little bit longer, as I let in the chilly breeze at the same time as well. It was one thing I could say about this place, was even if it was a very nice and safe place, it did get quite a bit cold, and I knew it was only going to get even more cold at the same time too.
The winter was coming soon, and that was what scared me the most. I was not sure how every one was going to be fed, as well as the fact that we were about to go in to war. I lowered my head to try ground, as I felt a bit sick, on those thoughts, and how worried I was about all of the people with me.
I heard a bit of a cough from John, which I had to assume was the fact that I had my head down to the ground again, and I was sure it more than likely looked a bit bad. It was not what I had meant by it, but I did not blame him for it, as I knew it still was a bad look for me, no matter what.
I lifted my head up, and I looked over at John, as I was not sure what it was that I was doing, or what it was that we were going to do next. He looked at me for just a little while longer, as he then nodded to me, at the same time as well, to my surprise, as he began to speak, and I listened to what it was that he had to say to me.
"Don't worry kid... You've got this..."