presidential affair

walk away

I decided to skip dinner in the residence that night. I figured it would be best to go home tonight. I barely made it through one glass of wine when there was a knock at the door. God please no I thought to myself.
"You left without dinner," Jack said as soon as I opened the door.
"I figured I would come home tonight. We don't need to have dinner every night and I didn't think we had plans."
"Well no we technically didn't but we have had it every night since Hanna left so I just thought."
"Just not tonight Jack. I needed to come home have a couple glasses of wine and make dinner for myself."
"Ok well since I'm here mind if I stay"
"Yeah. I kinda do Jack."
"Oh"
"I just think I'm not ready. I don't know but something tells me this will end up bad and I would rather put some space."
"There you go. Runaway. Like always"
"Ahat is that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing Emma. Have a good night I guess."
"No Jack, you don't make a comment like that then try and walk away. Please explain to me what you meant."
"You walk away emma! After we kissed. After the accident. Every time anything gets hard or there is a real chance of commitment you leave. After the accident, you left and I didn't hear from you for months. I had told you I loved you. That I was really ready to be with you. But you left without a single word. You said that it was for the better, but who was it better for. I know it wasn't better for me. I'm sure you struggle after too. "
"Jack, I may have left, but don't forget that you didn't chase me. Three months of nothing. No knocking at my door. No phone calls. No text message. No letter by pigeon. You have the entire US government at your disposal to find me, to talk to me, and nothing. You can't blame all this on me. Sure I walked away, I walked away because one of us had to be the bigger person. We couldn't been in a relationship then. You were still married to Hanna. You were planning on being married to Hanna. I know that it would be tough for us but what would've happened if I stayed."
"And now? Then was different. I just don't get it. I'm finally available. We are free to be us and you want to walk away?"
"Jack you're not free. Sure you are divorced whatever..."
"Don't you dare say some bullshit about the media"
"Jack you do realized that the media is my job. I'm saying this because I've seen it happen. If word gets out that you and I are in a relationship just weeks after your divorce then all hell with break loose. They will tear you and me and our families, our friends and everyone that we both know apart limb by limb. Until they can't handle it anymore, everyone will be looking for some sort of story to run with. Once they do get it they will run like wild, as fast as they can. Not only will they come up with some crazy rumors. I will have to step down from my job. I got work for you and be involved with you. We've been worried about your job and what will happen for you. But what about me jack?"
"I know it's your job but it's always one thing or another. The only thing I want right now in life is you"
"And the presidency..."
"I don't even care about that."
"Jack, you know how hard we worked. How hard I worked, you, Andrew, James, hell even Hanna. And what you're going to throw it all away for your mistress"
"You're so much more than that."
"You know I still wonder why you went on national television and told the world that you were going to divorce your wife without warning your press secretary."
"Emma! Don't you get it. I love you. I'm in love with you. I would do anything to be with you. I didn't tell you because you are very persuasive and you somehow would have talked me out of it."
"Sure, you'll do anything for me. But I'm not going to let you. I am persuasive because that is my job. Just like right now I'm going to tell you this job is so much more important then me. I love you Jack. I really do. I have but I can't let you do this. I have told you so many times but you can't blow this for me. or for anyone. Please Jack I am begging you wait until after reelection. And I can make sure the deputy press secretary ready to fulfill her role. Because the moment we decide to become public, I will have to step down. And you know I'll always worry about what the press will say."
"I'm sorry. You're right Emma. You always are. I just got to far ahead of myself and jumped the gun. You shouldn't have to give up your job for me. You shouldn't have to give up your reputation in DC for me."
"I want to. I want to be with you. But it just has to wait until after reelection."
"And if all else fails and I don't get re-elected then we are both out of a job and we don't have to worry about being in the public light."
"Well it's not that simple with ex- presidents but yeah," I just hope that you do get re-elected, I thought to myself. "Listen jack... I'm tired and we have an early morning with a long day tomorrow so I need to go to sleep-"
"Can I-"
"No, you can't. Not tonight jack. I'll see you tomorrow," I started walking him towards the door. He pulled me in for a hug. A small comforting kiss on top of my head and a small peck on my lips.
"Goodnight Emma, I'll see you tomorrow. Love you"
"Goodnight Jack," I shut the door behind him. An uneven breath came out of my mouth and a few stray tears. Was he right? Did I always walk away?