We Cannot Be

○● C H A P T E R 9.1 ●○

After finishing with business, I went to the beach. This was the last place I remember my father took me. I came back here to feel his presence. I felt like whenever I found myself here, I felt truly free.

The way the ocean was forever going, and never had an end. It gave me some type of hope. I sat on one of the rocks of the beach. Being here alone, was dangerous for me.

I could easily get shot from here. Oh well, it was better than sitting on the open beach in full view. In the distance, I saw a man beginning to make his way towards me. When he got close enough, I stood up.

What did he want? He kept walking closer and closer till he was merely a meter away from me. He looked at me and then said,

“Do you believe in god?” I shook my head.

Who was this guy, and why was he asking me such weird questions.

“Why?” He questioned.

Something compelled me to reply to his question with sincerity.

“I am not a good person. I may believe that a god exists, however I can't believe in him. My life is different, I do dreadful things, I kill people. I have done things that a person should never really be forgiven for. In this life, you can't be kind. Kindness does not get you anywhere in this world. You must be selfish; you must go against the teachings of god if you want to be able to survive this world.” He sat on the rock, and I followed his action.

“Child, it is not too late to turn to god.” he said.

“Even if I wanted to, no god would accept me, I find joy in this lifestyle. I like killing, I like to watch people cry in pain. I see the bad in people not the good. I am bad, and I like the way I am. I am selfish. I kill but I do it to survive.” Then I looked up in the sky and said,

“I do it for my papa.” There was a lament of silence. I then turned around and started walking away, with the sunset nearly coming to an end. “I do it for my papa.” I said to myself, for reassurance and to strengthen my resolve.

I will avenge my papa's death. I will. I must. And when I find the man responsible, I'm going to kill him.

“IM GOING TO KILL YOU.” I screamed aloud.

That night, I went to torture some men. The sound of screams, bringing me some sort of peace, some sort of contentment, for that fleeting moment at least. I was once again brought back into my reality.