Our Addiction || Draco Malfoy x Reader

losing either way

Pansy pov:

   Theo breaks away softly. He doesn't move his face any farther from me and only whispers, "What is really going on here?"

How do I tell him even I don't know? I can't get over Draco and yet Theo makes me feel safer then he ever does.

But I still  would pick Draco.

"I'm so tired, Theo." I close my eyes and rest my head on his shoulder.

"Me too." He swallows, "I can't wait for this all to be over."

Me too.

What even happens when it's over? When 'we' win? Nothing would be normal again, except, Draco loses Y/n. Would he come to me after?

Am I ok with being a second choice just because he's Draco?

"What would you be doing right now if you weren't caught up in this? If you didn't even have any thoughts of a magical world." I ask.

"I thought you hated the thought of anything to do with being a muggle, Pans?" A small smile ties with his voice.

"Well yes, but-"

"Just teasing you. I probably wouldn't be risking my life for the sake of upholding my father's name, I would probably be normal."

"What is considered normal?"

"If my family isn't mine I would probably live near a busy town and would have a group of friends who don't drink at seventeen-"

"I'm sixteen." I correct him.

"Maybe in that life I would even have siblings? Younger ones," he continues. Theo is always amazing with the first years. His eyes are flashing and I wish I could see the visions of his dream world through my own head.

"When I have kids I don't just want one. I sometimes wonder what would happen if I wasn't an only child. Maybe even an older sister?" I smile along with him and picture a dark haired girl braiding seven year old me hairs' on my bed.

"You and I know two Parkinson's would never work well," he laughs silently.

"Oh please, everyone would just be intimidated. Besides, that would me in my muggle life."

Theo tilts his head down to me lowering his eyes, "Would we know each other?"

"I would hope so."

Silence falls upon us again. I really would hope I would know him if we were muggle teenagers. Life seems so much simpler. Unfortunately not much would change, except for the part of us being wizards. Not if my family were still the same people as they are now but the fact that Draco, Theo and all of us wouldn't be too invested in this uprises my spirits. 

They would be safer. We all would. 

Theo's hand trails up and down my leg. He isn't doing it to make me kiss him again, he's doing to ease the empty look that sat on my face. I sit my hand on top of his and he lets me turn it over. I fidget with the rings on his fingers and let my own fingers move to his wrist. Where without thinking I raise his sleeve. 

He sucks in uncomfortably. 

I turn my head examining it. It almost looks like ink, but when the tips of my fingers meet the top, it feels like a scar. The skin is rough, unlike his surrounding arm, but alike Draco's mark. The mark is deep into his skin, its apart of him. Forever.