an everlasting caress (on hold) (#2)

You're Still Hungry (4)

Avathara

     She pulled the big t-shirt over her head and with a bit of struggle, she pulled her wet hair into a loose ponytail. Avathara tried to avoid the mirror as much as possible, because she didn't like was she saw. She seldom ever did. Not especially in that moment when she was so severely scarred on her chest. The bite mark made her sick every time she looked at the irritated, pink piece of flesh.  

     She hoped she wasn't ugly in the traditional sense—whatever that was—but also knew she wasn't much to look at either way. It didn't help that for most of her life, she was taught to look at herself with distaste, as a worthless, lowly human. It was a work in progress, she supposed, though doubted she'd embrace the woman she saw in the mirror with open arms.

     She felt a cramp in her lower back and groaned as she realized her period would come soon. This was the last thing she needed.

     She exited the bathroom and sat on the edge of her bed. That's what he called it, her bed, her room. Idris did not understand how groundbreaking this was. He didn't realize the disbelief that prevented her from taking ownership of anything in that room. Avathara barely believed in her own sovereignty, let alone a pillow or blanket. 

     To her relief, after having been there for only a couple of days, they were already creating a routine. Routine was one thing Avathara was good at. She could follow direction and was lost if given freedom to do otherwise beside the will of another. 

     The phone went off.

Idris: The food is ready.

     Avathara nodded to herself and made swift of exiting the room, entering a short hallway. She paused, watching the door in front of her with suspicion. She knew it was his room, it had to be. This house was too small for him to stay anywhere else. 

     She welcomed the freedom though and walked down the hall. Surprisingly, the hardwood floors were not too cold against her bare feet. It was smooth compared to the forest floor. The kitchen was near, as the setup of the house was an open concept. It reminded her of being in an open field and appreciated the room to breathe. 

     Avathara saw the sandwich and without pause, she grabbed it and seated herself at the counter. She looked out the kitchen window to the beach. Idris had even confirmed that they were on an island, something which mind-boggled her. She was so used to the snow and the cool winds that she simply refused to go outside. But she could if she wanted to, he assured her of that.

     At this point, she was ninety-five percent certain that he did not wish to keep her held hostage. But why he would want to harbor her was a mystery. Her mind couldn't process the idea of someone willingly helping her without wanting something in return.

Avathara: Can I watch tv?

Idris: Do whatever you wish.

Avathara: The sandwich is really good. Thank you.

     Okay, so maybe she was getting a little lonely. In the last few hours, her curiosity was beginning to get the best of her. She wanted badly to know what he looked like and why he refused to talk to her in-person.

Idris: There's more food in the fridge if you're still hungry.

Avathara: I can make one for you, if you want?

     Avathara was so used to doing something for someone else. It felt wrong that she was being taken care of so much.

Idris: No.

     She looked around.

Avathara: Where are you?

Idris: I just left the house. I'll be back later for dinner.

     Her heartbeat spiked. Would he be joining her?

Avathara: Ok.

     After finishing her sandwich, she curled up into a ball on the couch. She flipped on the tv and on came a movie.

     Her eyes widened as the couple of the screen began to make out. "Next!" She whispered frantically to herself, changing the channel with the remote controller. Spongebob. She had no idea what it was, but it was bright with colors and fun-looking characters. Much better.

     She couldn't seem to smile still, though. After what happened, she felt that whatever measure of joy which had once occupied her body had now fled. It kept replaying in her mind. The lack of control. The violence. The scars on her body which were a constant reminder now of her weakest moments.

     Her hand instinctively sought the wound on her chest. It was still irritated but mostly healed. It hurt whenever she moved her arms around too much, but she didn't mind the pain. Pain? She could take it. It was the shame which destroyed her the most. She grabbed the nearest throw blanket and wrapped it around her body in spite of the warmth of the house.

     She frowned as she watched the screen. "Why don't you leave Spuidward the fuck alone? He hasn't done anything to you." She quietly admonished the cartoon characters. Spongebob and Patrick were back at their annoying shenanigans.

     She laid her head back. "Fuck you, Mike. Suck my dick, just how I like," she repeated over and over again as she gazed at the tv, only half paying attention to what was happening.

****************************************************

     Avathara hadn't realized she had fallen asleep until she awoke to the sound of the front door closing. She knew it was him, but it was too dark to really see him. His heavy stride didn't pause as he went straight back to his room.

     She turned on the lamp by her, squinting as she searched for her phone.

Avathara: You're back.

Avathara: I can make dinner.

Idris: Give me a minute to shower. I will do it.

She sighed. She didn't want to push her luck, but her frustration was quick to rise.

Avathara: I can do it. Please.

Idris: Fine.

     Avathara got up the couch and was quick in preparing dinner. Anywhere from an half an hour to an hour passed before she plated the food. It wasn't anything special. Steak. Rice. Broccoli.

     She'd kill for chocolate.

     Except she'd done enough killing recently, hadn't she? Her mood soured at her own train of thought.

Avathara: It's ready.

Idris: Go on. I'll eat later.

Avathara: You aren't hungry?

Idris: Later.

     She breathed in deeply.

Avathara: Will you eat with me?

     He didn't respond, and this worried her that she may have pushed him too far, because he had never not responded before. Unsure if she was in trouble or not, she hurriedly finished her food and went to bed.

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A/N

Hey ya'll. This extra chapter is a bit of a Valentine treat. So, what are your thoughts on the story so far? Is it what you expected?? Are you a fan of Avathara or still observing for now? 

I promise you that this is only getting started, and the pace will pick up! I literally can't wait to see your reactions to how the plot thickens :) 

BLACK LIVES MATTER.