Luna

Chapter eleven

My mind was brought to a blank, timeless space where thinking and feeling is not possible. 

My senses are blurred, suffocated by an invisible blanket that was laid over me. 

A voice broke the infinite silence that was roaming around me, pulling me slightly back to the place I was desperately trying to escape.

"You are loved Luna," the firm voice said. 

Love.

The thing I desired the past years, but didn't get. 

"We love you."

These words pulled me out of the blank space, my senses no longer blurred. 

I looked at these familiar blue eyes, which belonged to a person who apparently loved me. 

Kayden, his name came to mind.

My body and mind feel detached, as if my body is back, but my mind is still trying to decide where to go. 

Arms wrap around me and I melt into them. 

I expect to feel something because my brothers' hugs became my favourite thing in this world, however there is nothing. 

Suddenly he's gone, leaving me alone with the numbness that is desperately trying to pull me back into the consuming, blank space.

I don't want to go back, not now there is finally someone who cares for my well-being. 

I think back to Nick, hoping to feel anger, fear, pain, anything.

Nothing.

Physical pain is a feeling, a well-known one. 

I reach to an almost healed cut on my left arm and press it so hard it reopens and starts bleeding. 

Still nothing, not even a tingling.

I look through my window and see it's raining. I love feeling the raindrops on my skin even when they're freezing cold. 

I slowly leave my room and head outside. 

My bare feet touch the wet grass while the rain is slowly drenching me. 

I'm sitting down on a bench, waiting for something. A loving feeling toward the rain or my body begging me to leave the cold.

I'm trying to ignore the pulling and focus on feeling anything. 

"Luna?"

Another voice from someone close to my heart that brings me back again. 

"I'm sorry."

Sorry you're stuck with me.

Sorry I'm such a disapointment.

Sorry I'm a burden. 

The true meaning of these words, which are stuck in my throat. 

"Hey, it's alright, we're not mad just a little concerned," Aiden explained. 

I tell him why I'm here. I don't know why, maybe I'm desperate for him to help me. 

When he suggests to head inside, I agree.

While I'm sitting on the couch, the tugging starts again.

I realize my brothers are the only ones who seem to help bring me back to reality, so I ask for a hug. 

A warm feeling is starting to form in the core of my body.

I leave his embrace to accept the cup from Cole, but regret it immediately. The warm feeling fades away, and I'm longing to feel it again.