𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐒 𝐒𝐎 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 ➝ 𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐧

𝟒𝟐. 𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃

𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐈𝐃 𝐈 think that we would lose the gold the same day I lost my best friend. Hearing the gunshot, the ringing still fresh in my brain, made everything harder, for everybody. Nobody knew what was going to happen, nobody knew what happened with Ward and Sarah, and nobody knew what we should do next.

It felt like complete chaos.

A plane engine made me glance away from my hands, still sweaty and shaking. "There goes the gold," Pope spat, his body filling with rage.

JJ kicked a white chair across the lot, the plastic splintering from the force. "Fuckkk!" Pope screamed as he threw a rock into the metal wall as hard as he possibly could.

Kie, JJ, and I looked at Pope, surprised that at his outburst. Out of the five of us, John B included, Pope was always calm and collected, but recently he's been struggling to keep his cool.

"Pope," I said but when he grabbed a bat and began smashing more plastic, we knew that he needed to get his anger out.

"God damn it!" Small pieces flew everywhere along with leftover sawdust, "Shit! Fuck!" He grunted, his swings stronger and harder.

The three of us watched as he swore and hit everything in sight, his anger radiating off of him. JJ was almost surprised at his abilities, and I was convinced that he'd never seen him like this. Launching a metal trashcan across the lot, Pope stared at us, his breath shaky and hot.

"Pope," Kie cried out, hoping to grab his attention.

His breath shook, then they became shorter, faster. He was hyperventilating. Pope sat down on a plastic bench, eyes screwed shut from the blinding sun, or trying to avoid tears that he knew would come out sooner or later.

"Yeah, dude," JJ acknowledged while Kie and I stayed silent. "I was wondering when this was gonna happen," To say that I was shocked with what JJ said was an overstatement. This was JJ; no filter, said what was on his mind, and most importantly, congratulated you when you are in the mids of a mental breakdown.

"Here you go, Chief," JJ finished as he handed Pope his Juel, the sun bouncing off the silver stick. "A little weed never hurt anyone,"

"JJ," Kie warned but I knew that JJ was right. For once, he needed to relax, and this was the best way to do it, in my eyes.

"Relax, Kie," He replied, Juel still in his outstretched hand.

"You know he doesn't smoke," She continued as Pope glanced between the two. But when he took the Juel, Kie closed her mouth and just sighed softly.

"Well, maybe not until today," I concluded.

JJ sat next to him as he stared at the unused Juel, quietly debating whether or not to take a hit, to give in. "Yeah, what is that gonna help?" Kie asked, trying to convince Pope not to do it.

Pope's breath shook, "I lost my scholarship. Walked out in the middle of the interview. Every... It's gone. It's not gonna happen,"

"You did that for us?" Kie asked softly, a tear rolling down Pope's cheek.

"No, not for us," He stood up and faced her, "For nothing,"

"I'm here for you Pope," JJ said as he grabbed his shoulders. "Welcome to my world, okay?"

"JJ--"

"What, Kie? He's right! It doesn't matter anymore,"

Pope leaned against a wooden pillar, sweat rolling down the back of his neck. Taking a hit, he looked at Kie. "You don't have to do that," But it was too late, he gave in. I watched from the side, not sure what to say or what to do. Everything still felt distant, it felt different.