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Chapter 18

"Um... y-yeah I'm fine will" I stud up quickly, which I immediately regretted, now I just feel a mix between dizziness and anxiety. Dizziness I'm guessing because I just stud up after throwing up all my food that I have eaten, and anxiety because I don't want till to find out, he will start to stress over it, this can't be happening right now

Oh my god.  I remember I put a blade in one of the draws. I heard knocking on the door again and will on the pother side of it "hey Tom? Can you unlock the door please?" Shit I can't let him see me like this, "n-not right now, no..." oh god, that sounds really bad, he's definitely going to start to get suspicious now.

"Tommy, please open the door." His voice sounding more serious now, making my anxiety worse, i ignore his last comment and start to go through the draws in the bathroom next to the sink looking for the blade, i cant find it, shit, where did I put it? I hear Will shouting tubbo to get his keys for the rooms in the house then I hear him talking to me "Tommy, I know what you're looking for it's not in there, just open the door please"

How does he know? He's lying, he has to be, there's no way he found it, he would've said something to me about it, wouldn't he? "Tommy if you come out now I can get Schlatt if you want me to?" I can tell by his voice he's starting to get worried, I'm still looking, maybe it's in the other side, i keep looking

Found it

I hold it and lift up my sleeves I look at the ones from earlier today, then at my other arm, I grab the blade and start

One cut...
Two cuts...
Three cuts...
Four cuts...

Before I can do the fifth one I hear keys in the door and then Wilbur started talking "Tommy, I'm coming in now, okay?" I shoved the blade back into the draw but I didn't have time to pull my sleeve down before Will came bursting through the door with tubbo stud behind him, i her tubbo gasp from the hall way and I see Will walking over to me and grabbing my arm. 

"Tommy... come here.. come with me" he said in a calming voice but I could tell he was panicking, he was trying to drag me out of the bathroom into goodness knows where, I don't like this, "n-n-no I'm sorry p-please don't hurt me! I-I-I'm sorry!" I can feel the presence of my dad again, all the times I've been dragged around by him, it's so he could beat me, i-I can't go.

"Tommy! It's okay, no one going to hurt you okay? Come on let's go!" He said in the loud voice making me scared "p-please! Don't make me go!" I started sobbing and shouting at the same time, "let me go!!" I jerked my hand away from his grasp "Tommy! Look, I'm trying to help you! Okay? Just follow me, we can help you stop bleeding okay?" he said his voice getting quieter after each word, i cant stop shaking "n-no i-I don't want to stop l-let me bleed, p-please..." I manage to say he just gives me an confused look, "I-I like the pain, w-will p-please"

I like the pain, that's why I do this, this and because it helps with my anxiety, it makes me feel alive, I need it, I want to bleed. "No Tommy, listen, we have to clean you up okay? We can't just leave you like this, please toms, let's go, come on," he said gesturing to follow him, i don't want this, I need to get away, and now.

I push past will, Tubbos gone, i don't know where but he's gone again, i pick a room and run into there and lock it, shit it's wills room, i look around and I can see my phone on his desk in his room, i run over and grab it

I load up discord, and message corpse

TommyInnit
Corpse
Help me
Please
Corse
Hey tom
What's wrong?
U okay?

TommyInnit
It's happening again
Help corpse please
I'm scared wilburs mad at me
What do I do please corpse

Corpse
Tommy, what happened
Did you cut again?
Why is Wilbur mad

TommyInnit
I had another anxiety attack
I throw up my food again
I cut again, wilburs mad because of it
He starting yelling idk what to do

Corpse
Tommy it's okay u don't need to worry
Where are you now?
Are you with him?
Are you safe?

TommyInnit
I'm not with him now
I'm in his room because he took
my phone from me
And I guess I'm not really safe no

Corpse
Is there anyway you could get him?
Why are you not safe?

TommyInnit
I could but I don't really want to
talk to him atm
And I still have my blade with me
that's why I'm not safe

Corpse
Okay Tommy I need you to listen
1. I need you to get away from
that blade okay?
2. I need you to get wilbur for me
I know you don't want to talk to
him but I need you to get him rn

TommyInnit
Okay I'm away from it now it's on
a desk on the opposite side of the
room
I guess I'll go get him now

I walk out of the room and I can see will on the side of the door on the phone to someone, he still hasn't seen me yet "hey,  um... will..." "OH MY GOD Tommy! Are you okay? I'm sorry for forcing you, but we need to fix your arm now" he said fast and panicky "NO," i quickly yelled back at him "I-I'm sorry I-I  mean no," "Tommy please, we need to" he trying to convince me ignore the person on his phone "corpse what's to speak with you" i said to him handing him back my phone.

TommyInnit
Hello? Corpse? It's will

Corpse
Will you need to listen to me okay?

TommInnit
Okay? Hurry Tommy isn't in the
best shape right now so be quick

Corpse
I know, it's about him
You're gonna need to listen

Tommyinnit
Okay?

Corpse
Trust me when I say this
Don't make him do anything
that he dosen't want to he has
really bad trauma so don't go
making him do stuff okay?

TommyInnit
He's bleeding like mad I
have to do something
How's do u know anyway

Corpse
Because he's told me
everything about himself

TommyInnit
Okay,..
What do I do then I
can't just leave him like
this

Corpse
That's exactly what you do
Let him fix himself trust me

TommyInnit
Are you sure tho?

Corpse
Yes wilbur trust me in this
Also DON'T take him phone

TommyInnit
I'll give it him for now

Corpse
Okay ttyl

TommyInnit
Okay I'll see you later then

N/A

Hey guys this chapter was so post to come out last night but there was an family emergency so I didn't have time to finish it, i know this is a bit of a shit chapter and I'm sorry about that it was a bit rushed so ya sorry abt that

Hope you're all okay, safe and healthy

(1171 words)