Project Heartbreak - Charlie Gillespie {a.u.}

9.

Here's another update because I'm just too excited :)

April 2, 2018

"What's up with your last log?" Ari asked as she entered my room.

"What do you mean?" I asked, arching an eyebrow. "Wait I wrote that like a month ago, why are just now reading it?"

"I felt sparks and butterflies in my stomach. I was happy," She read off the notebook paper. "You're not starting to like him, are you? And I'm just now reading it because I haven't had the time,"

"What? God no, Ari," I said rolling my eyes.

"What does this mean then?"

"I guess at that moment, I felt happy. I didn't have a care in the world. But, that doesn't mean I like him. I can tolerate him at this point," I said, running a hand through my hair.

"Mila, I swear if you start liking him and ruin the plan you're gonna get it," She threatened.

"Get what? A spanking?" I teased. "Oh he's coming over later for dinner, be on your best behavior,"

"Why is he coming over?" She asked angrily.

"Technically we're dating and that's what couples do, Ari," I said as she rolled her eyes at me.

"Fine, I still don't like him," She said as she made her way out the door.

"I don't either!" I yelled back at her.

I lied. I lied to my sister because I know how much this would hurt her. I knew I was falling for Charlie the night he took me to Disneyland and since then, I've been falling harder every day. I've gotten to know him on such a deeper level than what's your favorite color' or 'what do you want to be when you grow up,' I felt connected to him.

Was I going to tell her? No. Not right now at least. Once we get closer to his birthday, that's when I was going to break the news. I didn't want to tell her now and a flip switch in Charlie's brain and he dumps me. She would say 'I told you so,'

It felt so soon that any of this was happening, but it felt right. I've never felt more like myself than I do when I'm with Charlie. I tried my hardest to keep hating him, for Ari's sake, but it just didn't work. A part of me felt guilty about it. Guilty because I was supposed to be getting back at the guy who hurt my sister. But instead, I fell for him. I really did and hard. 

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair, this was starting to get stressful. I had to keep my feelings to myself, for Ari. But, I was actually starting to like Charlie. The way his face lights up when he's telling a story. The way his nose scrunches up and his eyes crease at the sides when he laughs. The way he holds my hand. The way he cares more about people than himself. He always puts himself second, never first.

He's erratic and creative. Super intelligent and has a multitude of talents that are respectable and almost enviable. He's got a great sense of humor when it comes to the situations that he's put in with life and his looks fit his personality, in the sense that he's quirky looking on the outside and quirking acting on the inside. He's very unique, even if he doesn't always see that quality in himself.

A month ago, I would've said he was arrogant and misogynistic. But, it's all different now He's the most caring person I have ever met. He works hard for everything he has and never complains about it. He's so passionate about music and the love for his band. Seeing his eyes light up when he performs, was something straight out of a movie. I've never met someone with more drive and passion about anything in my entire life.