The Farland Files

Westfield, New Jersey

Waking to organ music, Lena gave a half-hearted sigh that turned into a yawn as she reached up to rub her eyes sleepily.

"Well, she has good tonsils. If she doesn't work out, I could always sell them."

"Excuse me?"

Jolting up, her magic conjuring a curved dagger to her hand as she backed up against the cold stone wall, she peered at where an old woman was standing next to Morticia in the door. The beautiful woman from the day before that she thought Daphne and Ginny would just adore smiled faintly at the older woman. "Now now, mother. Lena is family and we do not sell family member's body parts."

The grandmother (?) nodded as if chided, before grinning to show off gap-filled teeth. "We use them in potions!"

"Quite right, Maman."

"How dare they!" Riddle sounded like an offended suburban mom (a thought that she kept to herself as he'd pitch a fit about it). "If they even try to touch you, you should gut them!"

There was a crash from upstairs, the house shaking.

A bit of dust rained from the ceiling nearby.

Morticia looked up with a small frown. "Will you please remind Uncle Fester and Aunt Dementia that there are no using blasting caps before dinner? They'll wake Aristotle and then he'll get water everywhere- or steal all of the fish eggs."

"Not the fish eggs!" The woman scurried out hastily, waving a spoon. "Oh, I'll whack that damned eight-legged squid to hell and back if he steals my fish eggs, slippery little..." Her creaky voice drifted off, lost to the winding hallways.

Lena slowly lowered the knife, even if she didn't let it disappear yet. "Who is playing the organ? And if I may ask, what time is it here?"

Morticia smiled pleasantly, seeming to already have taken to Lena, even if she thought that made the woman weirder than anything else. "Lurch is practicing for when Dementia and Fester get married. As for the time, I believe it is almost breakfast time. If you bring your things, Thing and Grandma helped to set you up with a bed in Wednesday's room, as she will surely be miserable at having a roommate her age!"

The woman then floated out.

Lena blinked before letting the conjured dagger disappear, climbing out of the bed and grabbing her bag, hurrying after the woman. She was in a bit of a state, with her eyeliner probably smudged and hair in a messy bun with her pajamas still on, but they'd gotten her up this early so she didn't care. They could deal with it. "Excuse me-" Picking up her pace slightly so she could walk next to Morticia- the woman walked at the speed of a balloon letting out air and yet still looked elegant- Lena furrowed her eyebrows slightly. "If my presence would make this 'Wednesday' so uncomfortable, I could stay in the room down-"

"The dungeons?" Morticia looked at her, eyes suddenly studying. "Why? Are you allergic to the sun? Or maybe you need the mold?"

Gomez suddenly seemed to pop up like a mustached shadow, hands wrapping around Morticia and she would have looked away if not for the slightly sad look he sent her. "Oh, and Wednesday was looking forward to showing you the new collection she's been working on."

"Perhaps this girl will be saner than her family?"

"She just lettered a week ago saying she'd found a wonderfully mysterious vial of blood under the floorboard in that abandoned part of Ilvermorny- said it might even be haunted!"

Riddle, she imagined, was rubbing his temples. "My hope for humanity is almost out and it's not even breakfast."

Smiling faintly at Gomez and Morticia, she wet her lips. "And though I will be interested to see whatever she wishes to show me, I have no wish to impose on her space."