Cloud 69

52:

a/n: i forgot to mention that the rest of the chapters will be told in third-person (it'll make sense later). everyone say bye bye, narrator maddie! :)

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april 1, 2022:

Futile. This was fucking futile.

At least, that's what their friends had said as Maddie and Carson went through the effort of keeping their college decisions a complete secret from one another and avoiding the topic like it was the Black Death for months on end.

Luna had told Maddie it was better to know than not to, and Jason had said that she'd find out eventually, so now was better than later. Dylan had told Carson that if this was something big enough to change anything between them it would be better for him to know, and Zach had agreed, arguing that it shouldn't even matter if they loved each other, anyway.

Yet, neither of them listened, for whatever reason. Maybe it was hope, maybe it was naiveté, and maybe, more likely than not, it was stubbornness that kept them from listening to their friends. Even if they were right: this was fucking futile.

"You seem tense," He remarked, sliding the freshly-brewed mug of coffee across the table to her as he settled down in the opposite seat of her.
"I am tense," She responded, welcoming the warmth of the cup against her palms as she pulled the coffee mug closer, like it was some sort of life line. She hadn't realized her leg had been shaking until Carson's hand fell to her thigh, gently pressing down and willing her leg to stop moving. His eyes remained on hers, anchoring her to him. 

"I love you," He promised, a futile effort to calm her down.
"I know," Maddie responded, followed by a sigh to release some of her nervous energy. She quieted for a moment, studying Carson's face– the set of his jaw, the straight line of his lips, the sincerity in his eyes; his hands folded neatly on the table, his shoulders pushed back, his chest stiffly expanded as if he was holding in a breath, afraid it would be his last. 

"Why don't you look nervous?" She asked.
Carson shrugged, "We've known since January, Maddie. We've stalled all this time, but we always knew this would happen– it's what we agreed on, anyway."
"I suppose," She responded. "On some level, I thought putting it off would make it better."
"Me too."

Carson reached down into his bag and pulled out a white folder. He regarded it with something between remorse and uncertainty before placing it face down on the table and slowly sliding it across the table to Madeline. He glanced at Madeline before nodding towards her bag, which remained unopened and untouched at her feet. Reluctantly, she reached down and took out a large envelope. She barely spared it a glance before shoving it in his direction, looking away for a brief moment before letting her eyes return to Carson's.

They sat quietly, motionlessly– just staring at each other and silently willing the other to speak or move first. Neither did.

Both of them turned at the sound of feet shuffling nearby. Dylan, half-awake and half-dressed, trudged into the kitchen with heavy eyes and loose-fitting pajama bottoms that were on the brink of slipping down his hips.
He paid no mind to the couple sitting at the kitchen table as he headed directly for the fridge, letting out a loud yawn on the way. He stared into the refrigerator for a long moment, his arm hanging lazily over the door, before finally settling on a green apple.
After taking a large bite, he closed the fridge door haphazardly. Finally he turned around and took notice of Madeline and Carson, who were watching him curiously. Dylan took another bite of his apple, eyes moving back and forth between the two as he studied them.