Cloud 69

23:

"See, wasn't that fun?" Luna said overly happily, as she pushed open the front door of her house. "No boys, no weird agreements with evil spawns."

I rolled my eyes. I had heard her say this way too many times over the last two weeks. Every day, it's been her mission to "keep me distracted," as if this was some sort of Carson cleanse. 

It actually started turning into that. Yesterday, she and I went on such a long run, I think we ended up in a different area code. The day before, she invited me – more like coerced me – into coming to her cat-sitting job with her. Last weekend, she booked us a full spa day, which was actually really nice and I can't complain about that one at all.

I haven't talked to him, let alone spend any time with him. The closest we got to that was eating lunch with the group, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him, and he wouldn't try to talk to me. 

Weirdly enough, I think I am starting to miss Carson? 

Not him, technically. 

I think I just miss having someone in the next room to talk to. Before Carson, I was used to spending a lot of time at home alone. The older I get, the less time my parents spend at home, and I don't have any siblings to bother or annoy. Although I hated the idea when I first learned about it, I kind of grew to like knowing that he was here, too. I guess I just missed his company.

But not him. Definitely not him.

Carson hasn't even tried to talk to me. He just kind of stays away. 

I keep trying to get him to say something. Whenever we're at lunch, or we're at someone's house, I make a fair amount of comments that should get a rise out of him. But every time he says nothing, and I hate it. I want him to say something, I want him to say anything. I just want him to force me to listen to him. 

Yelling at each other used to be our thing, and now, he doesn't ever speak to me or pick fights with me for the hell of it. If we're being honest, it's probably an improvement for us, but still, it's weird. 

The silence is slowly killing me, I think. It doesn't feel natural, but I also know it's not as easy as just talking to him, now and going back to the way things were. There are so many things we'd have to talk about that I'm not ready to confront, starting with figuring out what the hell we were doing and putting it to a definite stop. 

The only time I even hear anything from Carson is when he's screaming on the phone in his room. He seems to spend a lot more time in there lately. Not that I pay attention anyways. 

I kind of want to know how he feels about this. Us not talking is kind of a first. But if he didn't like it, wouldn't he say something? Does he like it? Has he been wanting this and I'm just oblivious to it?

"Yeah, Luna," I replied, breaking away from my thoughts. "Lots of fun." I think she could tell I didn't whole-heartedly mean it. 

She rolled her eyes, as she placed her large shopping bags at the foot of her bed. "You could at least try to make it sound real."

"Sorry, I'm just not in the mood today," I responded, falling back on her bed.  

For the majority of the past two weeks, I've been putting up with her antics. I know she's just doing what she thinks is best, and honestly, I don't really mind. It keeps me from sleeping with Carson, and it makes her happy. But today, I just did not feel like doing anything at all.

"Come on," Luna pestered, grabbing my arm and attempting to pull me off of the bed. I wrapped my arms around one of her pillows and pressed all of my weight into the bed to keep from moving.