Ronan (Taylor Swift and One Direction)

Dance

I got to Taylor’s car and she was pacing back and forth in front of it. She looked up at me and sighed dramatically. 

‘Thank god. I thought you had done something to yourself or something.’ Taylor said worriedly. 

‘I’m fine. I was just at the cafe and then Niall came and I told him all about Ronan’ I told her calming her down. 

‘Okay, okay. Let’s go home’ She said and got in the car. I followed her as tears pricked back up in my eyes at the word home. 

*Flashback*

‘HOME WE’RE GOING HOME!’ Ronan was screaming in the back seat. Looking excitedly out the window. We were just getting back from a tour and Ronan was so excited to get home.

*End of FlashBack*

‘We’re here’ Taylor announced and I hopped out of the car quickly. 

I walked into our apartment and saw Ronan’s toys all piled up neatly in the corner. He was a very neat little boy. He had left them there and I hadn’t dared to touch them. I hadn’t even dared to go into his room yet. 

I walked over to the toys and was just about to pick one up with tears streaming down my face when Taylor’s voice stopped me. 

‘Go get dressed and I’ll meet you in our dance room’ She announced and I walked away from Ronan’s toys to my room. I got changed into a leotard and then went straight to our dance room. 

I went to the stereo and chose a song. I turned “Pretend it’s Ok’ on by Little Mix and turned the music up. Just as I turned it on Taylor walked in, in her own leotard. 

She gave me a small smile and we went into formation. Doing one of our old routines that fitted perfectly with the music. The was listening to the song as I danced around the room with Taylor. I have to start pretending it’s ok. I really do. How long before Taylor will give up on me?

The song ended and Taylor and I both stopped in a dance pose. Both of us a bit puffed. Taylor went and chose another song and we started dancing again. 

About an hour later we had danced to multiple songs. I was so tired. We were both lying on the floor next to each other. My hair was sprawled out on the floor. I looked at Taylor. 

‘I’m sorry Tay’ I apologized.     

‘What on earth are you apologizing for?’ She asked. 

‘For being so depressed. For crying so much. I’m sorry. Just tell me to leave if I am too annoying and I’ll find somewhere. You don’t have to take care of me.’ I said as tears came to me once again.

‘Abbi. You do not need to apologize. I know what you are feeling. I am sad as well but I am just keeping it inside. Ronan was special to me too. And honey, I would never do that to you.’ She said also looking at me.

‘You take as long as you need to get used to him not being here.’ She told me before getting up and leaving the room. 

I laid there on the floor for a long time. Crying some of the time. I finally was able to get myself up off the floor and made myself walk to the kitchen. I made myself a simple salad sandwich before I went into my room. 

I had absolutely nothing to do so I went onto my twitter.

I logged on and had a look at the trends.

My heart broke when I saw the first world wide trend. 

#RIPRonanWe’llMissYou 

I cried a little as I read tweets from fans about Ronan. I replied to some.

Stuff like:

@AbigailAndRonan: @Swiftie5ever Thank you for your sympathy. I appreciate all the love given to Ronan. He will live forever in my mind

@AbigailAndRonan: @RonanIsAdorable He really was the most beautiful little boy. Thanks for your sympathy

And so on. I didn’t have enough whim to reply to many. I followed a few people before I saw a mention from someone. 

@NiallOfficial: @AbigailAndRonan I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope to hear more about Ronan one day. Give me a call whenever you want.

I smiled through my tears. As I tried to think of something good as a reply. 

I must have deleted my whole tweet about 3 times before I decided on something.

@AbigailndRonan: @NiallOfficial Will do. Thanks for listening to me

Short but I couldn’t bring myself to write anything more. I logged off of Twitter. 

I stared at the ceiling as I thought. 

I never used to have time to just do nothing. Ronan always kept me busy. 

He was my joy. My life.