carina and maya -

31

carinas pov
"Mason would've loved this..." I heard Maya whisper, so silent I didn't know if I was even meant to hear it...

I looked at her but her eyes seemed to be glued to the water and the sunset.
It got a little dark so I couldn't really see if she was sad or how she might be feeling.

I gently rubbed her back, trying to comfort her before I finally reacted to her statement.

"Who's Mason?" I just asked not trying to push anything.

She let out a deep breath... I continued to stroke her back, but decided to avoid eye contact, maybe this made it easier for her.

"My brother..." She whispered again, her words came out monotonous... I couldn't get a hold of how she felt right now. It was always difficult to tell how Maya feels, she could stay silent and calm when on the inside she'd freak out, but right now it was harder than ever.
I reached for her hand, I was afraid she'd jump off and run away any second we would dive more into this topic.
If she decided to let the emotions out it always was intense...
She rested her hand in mine, I interlaced our fingers so it gave me the safe feeling she was here with me.

I waited for her to continue but she just stared at the sky.
I felt the atmosphere tensing up... I never would've thought she would talk about him right now when we would have a cute picnick date.

She didn't said anything, or looked at me... I didn't know what else to do so I just asked another question.

mayas pov
"What about him?" I heard Carina asking... I sat there staring at the sky.
It felt like suddenly my energy dropped and it took me so much strength to keep talking to her about him... but I wanted to show her how much I'm trying.
I didn't wanted to shut down again nor run away, I felt to weak for that anyway.
Despite that I had this feeling of restlessness in my chest.
"He..." I got out before a lump formed in my throat, which made it harder to continue. I tried to swallow it down and pressed my hand further into carinas.
"he... died..." I whispered out.
I said it... I told her. I haven't talked about Mason to anyone. About him yes, but never what actually happened to him.
I felt Carinas Hand loosening the grip onto mine and she now fully turned around looking at me.

carinas pov
I didn't knew if I was expecting this answer, nevertheless I was shook when I heard it... I was so shook I didn't know what to say.
I didn't wanted to say empty phrases...
Finally I decided to turn around to her.
She sat there. Her face seemed to be numbed, I could identify any emotion, which scared me more as if she would sit beside me, crying her eyes out.

I wonder if she would say more about it now or if this was all she would let me know about him...
I looked at her and she looked at me but it seemed like she didn't event quite get I was there, it felt like she was staring through me so I turned back around.

"Can we go home?" She suddenly asked, it surprised me but seconds later I realized it's already late and we both have to go to work tomorrow.

"Sure..." I told her slowly standing up. I didn't wanted to let go of her. her actions could be so unpredictable. But I had to, we needed to pack our stuff.

I grabbed everything and half heartedly threw it in the basket. Keeping my eyes on Maya the whole time. She just stood a few inches beside me. Staring into nowhere.

mayas pov
I wanted to be home, it hit me like a wave but the memories of Mason were just a little too much right now...
I saw that carina finished and suddenly I just ran. I didn't wanted to, but I needed to. I needed to get rid of every energy in my body.
"Maya wait..." Carina shouted with a panicked voice, I looked back at her trying to keep up with my speed.
I knew the way home so I just ran.
I heard my name a few more times before I zoned out into tunnel vision, as I always did during running.
Then I was in front of the door... catching my breath.

I heard Carina gasping for air as she came a few minutes later...
We went to the apartment.
"Maya... Is everything okay?
I just turned around looking at her beautiful brown eyes as all the emotions hit me.
My face was glowing and I felt my eyes tearing up...
The second I felt Carinas arms wrapped around me I gave in and the tears just streamed down my face.

carinas pov
A tear rolled down my cheek too. I ignored it.
But it was a lot to see Maya like this, sure she cried, rarely but she did. But I could feel of how much of a different level of pain she must be in right now.
She stood in my arms as her whole body was just shaking and she let out silent cries, no more tears were left...
I hugged her as tight as I could, trying to calm her down.
After a few minutes she stopped crying and only let out sobs occasionally.
I went into the bedroom, stroking her hand...
Suddenly she looked at me, her eyes red and swollen, her cheeks wet from crying...
"It was all my fault..." she said before she broke down again...
"No Maya... why would you think that?" I asked her gently... holding her in my arms.
"He OD'd the day I flew to the Olympics with my parents she said..."
and now I realized why she was so determined and emotional about the medal. Why it was so dusted like she wouldn't touch it and embrace it. hanging it on the walls.
"Maya... You couldn't have known that..." she interrupted me, louder this time... angrier
"I could... I did... I knew, I knew my parents never were interested at him.  if I wouldn't have left maybe..." she stopped since her voice broke.
"Nobody could've done something in the moment..." I tried getting the feeling of guilt off of her.
She just nodded and I knew that she probably it was enough for today...
I gave her a hug again as I laid down.
"It's okay... I'm proud of you Maya." I whispered to her when she buried her head as deep into my chest and arms as she could. I held her close.

mayas pov
I felt awful but I was glad I told her... I wanted not to talk anymore... I was so so exhausted. I gave Carina a kiss while she caressed my head... I closed my eyes as I was so damn tired from the crying.
"try to sleep bella" I heard carina softly whisper, I mumbled a yes since laying in her arms brought me enough peace and calmness to settle down and fall asleep...

an; this was sad, im sorry I hope you liked it anyways.
what would you want to happen next? any ideas?
thank you so much for reading and commenting it means a lot.