to be so lonely • hs

thirty seven

I brushed my hand against my blue mid-length dress, shrugging to myself as I reached for my white knit jumper and put it on over the dress.

Harry didn't budge when I'd called and asked what the appropriate attire for tonight would be. He promised I'd look fine no matter what I decided on, which was lovely, but didn't help much. I'd hate to be over— or underdressed.

I re-curled bits of my hair that had fallen flat and opened my medicine cabinet, gazing upon the shelf full of perfume bottles. As I considered all the options, my eyes landed on the last bottle in it's row, one I hadn't worn in over a year. The one Harry bought me, that I'd avoided wearing because it reminded me too much of him. But it felt perfect now.

Reaching for the bottle, I pulled off the cap and brought it to my nose to smell the scent I'd nearly forgotten. It took a second, then my nose filled with that of fresh flowers and linen. A hint of eucalyptus, too.

But mostly, it smelled like a time when Harry and I were happy. When we sat on the ground in front of our small tree and opened the carefully wrapped gifts we'd gotten each other. We were still in our pyjamas, and the snow outside made for the perfect Christmas morning. I was surprised by how lovely the scent of the perfume was, and started wearing it quite often, as it had quickly become a favourite of ours.

I guess that's why it was nearly empty now, but I spritzed it on anyway, and waited out on my sofa until Harry arrived.

His knock came about 15 minutes later, and with it, I sprung up and nearly raced myself to the door. Catching my breath, I unlocked it and smiled up at Harry, who stood on the other side with an equally large grin on his face.

"Hi," I acknowledged, greeting him with an embrace and a kiss on the cheek.

"How are you?" Harry reciprocated the kiss, then placed his arms at his sides.

"I'm fine, how about yourself?" I nervously held my hands behind my back and felt a bit silly feeling first-date jitters with Harry, of all people.

"Happy to see you." He answered, I couldn't help my laughter and the reddening of my cheeks.

"The feeling is mutual, I assure." I reached for my keys and made my way out the door, locking it after us before smiling up at him once again.

"Shall we?" He asked, looking down at his hand on his hip as I nodded, linking my arm with his.

We walked down the steps and out towards his car, attempting to sync our steps together but failing after realizing Harry's legs were much longer, and his steps were much larger than my own.

He opened the door and held my hand as I got in, and I remembered how much I gushed over the phone to my mum, after our very first date, about how he did the same move as now.

As he got in and started the car, my nerves seemed to settle.

"So where are we off to?" I asked, leaning my head back and exhaling into the seat.

"Well that'd just ruin the element of surprise, wouldn't it?" He laughed.

"Sure, but I don't mind." I shrugged, "What if you decided to take me to one of my least favorite places— like a motor show? I'd like to have time to mentally prepare before hand." I joked, knowing he wouldn't actually.

"I think I know you well enough to know what you'd like." He argued.

"A lot can change in a year." I reminded, though he was probably right. "You like motor shows, don't you? Perhaps i'll take you for our second date." I suggested, laughing a bit.

"Second date, huh?" He grinned. "Are you already that impressed?"

"I guess I've just got a good feeling." I shrugged, the feeling of comfort, and belonging, and warmth, most of all.