to be so lonely • hs

three years ago

I blindly reached my hand into my purse to feel around for my keys as I stood in front of my apartment door after work, eager to get inside and escape the cold.

Finally, I found my keys and inserted it into the door, unlocking it and allowing myself inside. Immediately, I was met by music nearly blasting, and my boyfriend singing along to the song that was playing.

I laughed and closed the door behind me, placing my keys on the hook by the door and setting my bag down on the couch as I reached the living room.

"Must it be so loud?" I asked as Harry noticed me, unable to hear me walking in over the music, startling him a bit.

He continued singing along to Start Me Up by The Rolling Stones as he made his way over to greet me, a huge grin on his face because he knew I was seconds away from questioning what in the world he was doing.

"How are you?" He asked, placing a kiss on my forehead.

"I'm freezing, actually, but fine otherwise. How about yourself?" I questioned, wrapping my arms around his warm body and shutting my eyes as I listened to him answer my question.

"I'm fine as well."

I held onto him for another few seconds then let him go and allowed him to continue on dancing and singing along to his music. Grabbing my bag, I headed into my room to change into something much warmer and more comfortable. We didn't have any plans tonight, so pyjamas would do the trick. 

I reentered the living room just as he shut the music off, then wandered into the kitchen where he was.

"What've you been up to?" I asked, opening up the fridge to look for dinner leftovers from last night.

"Spoke to my mum on the phone for a bit, did the laundry, made lunch," he listed, leaning against the fridge. "Days off aren't very fun when you're gone."

"If I were here, we'd probably still call your mum, do laundry, and make lunch." I reminded, because it's usually how it went.

"Sure, but at least then it's enjoyable." He flirted, I laughed and took the leftovers from the fridge to heat them up, asking if he wanted any, to which he declined.

I then sat and ate as he accompanied me with a glass of wine and a short review on the new Bluetooth speaker he had been testing out all evening.

Soon after, we'd ended up lying on the couch watching a movie. The heater was on and I'd covered us both in a warm blanket.

With the lights off and the warm glow of the tv being the only light source in the apartment, harry found it easy to fall asleep an hour into the film. I couldn't blame him, though, because I was minutes away from doing the same.

The movie continued on in the background as my focus shifted onto the boy sleeping beside me. His long lashes placed softly against the top of his cheeks, pink lips pressed together, eyebrows slightly furrowed, curly brown hair messy under his green beanie.

I couldn't understand how even after three years of studying every detail, I fell in love each time I looked at him. Each time felt like I had seen him for the first time.

A loud noise in the movie jolted him awake, his eyes opened quickly and he looked over to me. "Are you alright?" He questioned, I nodded.

"It was just the movie, don't worry." I reached for the remote, lowering the volume.

He nodded and rubbed his eyes, my lips unable to stop themselves from forming a smile as I watched him try to focus back on the movie that we were both quite bored of.

He turned slightly to face me, then raised an eyebrow as he noticed me already looking at him. "What?" He laughed, I shook my head.

"Nothing." I fell in love once more.

"Li." He poked, I sighed and shifted over to rest my head against his arm, right before he wrapped his arm behind my back. "What is it?"

"Nothing, I love you, that's all." I told him, his smile growing.

"How much?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. I rolled my eyes and held my fingers very close together. He frowned and I laughed again, extending them a bit.

He watched with a frown as I separated my thumb and index further, then stopped me once my fingers couldn't possibly separate anymore. "I'm afraid that's still too little." He shrugged.

"It's more than my heart can handle." I argued.

"How much more?" He crossed his arms now, amused with himself.

"Harry, you're pushing your limits." I laughed, shaking my head as he still glared at me, waiting for an answer. "An entire galaxy more." I gave in, extending both of my arms out as our laughter filled the room.

"That'll do." He nodded, satisfied. "I love you." He reached for one of my hands, folding our fingers over each other and sitting back as we watched the remainder of the movie.