to be so lonely • hs

fifteen

I applied the last bit of make up on and did a quick once-over in the mirror before turning away to dress into the clothes i'd laid out for myself.

I hadn't gone to the bar in quite some time, and it felt more unusual that I'd be going with my ex boyfriend, his best friend, and all of their friends. I really wasn't sure what to expect from tonight, but I hoped, at the least, I'd be able to take my mind away from the insanely busy week at work I had.

The strappy black tank top I wore paired well with a pair of pink trousers I'd bought recently. I figured if we kept inside the majority of the night I would be warm enough, so I ultimately decided against a coat.

Harry would be picking me up in a matter of minutes. It made more sense if I showed up with him, as I was his guest, rather than showing up on my own. I texted him once I had finished getting ready and he responded that he was on his way over.

While I waited for Harry, I continued messaging Mason as he closed up at his job. He asked what my plans were for the night, and I wondered if I was supposed to start inviting him to things. A night out with Mason and a few of my friends might have been really fun, given another circumstance. He was really friendly, and quite fun, but inviting him to celebrate a birthday with my ex probably wasn't the best place to start. So I pushed the thought to the back of my mind and responded with a white lie.

Just under ten minutes had passed before the knocks at my door alerted me of Harry's arrival. I grabbed my phone, keys, and wallet and slid them into my bag before meeting Harry at the door.

"Hi," I greeted, my words coming out as a stutter as I took in his attire. He wore a sheer black button up with bits of shimmer and a neck bow, tucked into a pair of white trousers, along with black heeled boots. It was different than most anything I'd seen him in, apart from when I would take photos of him in clothes outside of casual wear.

His dark tattoos were rather visible through the shirt, as well as the silver necklace with the silver and jade cross hung around his neck tucked inside the shirt.

"Hi," He repeated, quickly glancing over my own outfit, then smiling once he noticed I hadn't yet taken my eyes off of his.

Was it weird to compliment him? I know I was likely overthinking something as simple as a compliment, but I really was in no mood to make things weird, so I kept the admiration to myself.

He adjusted the rings on his fingers and then ran his hand over his perfectly combed hair, just before tilting his head out the door.

"Ready to go?" He asked. I took my eyes away from him and looked behind me to the light switch, shutting it off as I nodded and followed him out the door.

We drove in silence to the bar, which was only about 15 minutes out. Harry tapped along the steering wheel to the low music and I found it hard not to relive so many memories held inside the cologne scent he'd warn all the years I'd known him. The one so fresh on his body tonight, and so fragrant within the confinements of the vehicle. The scent was a happy one. It was warm, and it was sweet.

Upon arrival, the nerves began settling in again. We walked side by side towards the entrance, offering a smile to the man stood outside lighting a cigarette.

"Are you sure it's okay that I'm here?" I asked, just as he reached for the handle.

"I'm sure." He reminded, not pulling the door open until I nodded and agreed to go in.