to be so lonely • hs

two

I sighed and rested my head in my hand, elbow propped up on the table. My other hand held my pen, which was being tapped against my notebook.

Work was slow since our meeting had been cancelled, and we didn't have much else to do today aside from selecting photo's for the gallery.

I sat at my desk and answered emails for my freelance work, speaking to clients that were interested in photoshoots or getting feedback from one's i'd already worked with on how the images turned out. It bought up an hour or two, and held me over pretty well.

"Liana, are you busy?" Madison asked, spinning around in her chair to turn and face me.

I looked down at my laptop and shook my head, lowering the blank screen slightly. "Swamped, actually." I nodded, jokingly. "Can I help with something?" I questioned, peeking over to her desk.

She swiveled over in her chair to sit on the other side of my desk, "I'm doing a shoot this weekend and i'm in need of models, two, actually. Would any of yours be interested?" She asked.

"Uh— possibly." I nodded, pulling out my phone and scrolling through my contacts for models that might've been interested. I had a few I used quite often, one's i'd even grown close enough with to consider friends. "I'll send you their information. Anyone in specific?" I asked, copying and sending over a few already.

"Do you have a file I can look through?" She moved her chair over to beside me, as I pulled up a file of model headshots. It was good to have when you wanted a specific look for your photoshoot, or knew one model worked better with certain things than another.

We scrolled through the entire file, which wasn't very long, and she'd picked out two or three before picking one last one I didn't know was even still included in the file.

"He'd be great! Do you still have his information?" She asked, noticing the photo dated back to 3 years ago.

I furrowed my eyebrows, Harry's headshot displayed on full screen on my desktop. "He's not a model, actually, i'm not even sure why that hasn't been deleted." I shook my head, exiting the image.

Harry had modeled for me in the past, just a few times. He was really good, and the images always came out incredible, but it was never anything serious. These images of him I hadn't seen in so long in combination with him stopping by last night had me spiraling for no good reason.

"Shame. He's beautiful." She laughed, I nodded. That, I couldn't deny.

It was hard to see him and not, just for a moment, forget everything that went wrong.

"Anyone else?" I scrolled back up to change the topic, though my concentration hadn't really left from him.

"I think that's all! Thanks!" She stood from her chair and dragged it behind her till she reached her desk, than sat and began emailing the models.

Meanwhile I found myself scrolling back up to Harry's image. It was taken against a plain white wall, his hair slightly covering one of his green eyes, lips pink, a white lacey vintage top covering up to his neck. It was a beautiful photoshoot, even the concept alone, but he really brought my ideas to life.

He wasn't a model, professionally, but he was damn good at it.

After another minute, I moved on and closed the file, finding more busy work to hold myself over until lunch, and then just a few more hours till I was off for the day.

-

Shutting the door behind me inti my apartment after work, I sighed and slid out of my shoes, then walked over to my kitchen to pour a glass of water. Leaning over the counter, I drank the remainder of my water as I scrolled through emails and social media, trying to decide how I'd spend the rest of my day.