to be so lonely • hs

6 years ago

The bass of the speakers in the next room over was strong enough to be felt as I sat on the small sofa with a classmate of mine I'd just ran into, the two of us making small talk while she waited for her friend to arrive.

I fidgeted with my hands and adjusted the small crossbody bag around my shoulders so the bag sat in my lap, attempting as best as I could to hear her over the music.

"Did you bring one here with you?" She asked, pointing at my bag with her index as the rest of her fingers gripped the phone in her hand.

"I did," I nodded, pulling up the small flap to reveal my cheap disposable camera, "Did you?"

"It slipped my mind," She laughed, "My phone will have to do."

For our first assignment of the term, our professor had asked that we take photos that captured the essence of life on campus, using whichever camera we felt fit best. I chose the disposable because of its feasibility— and the fact that it was the lightest camera I had on me. I took a few photos in the library, in a lecture hall, and was now sat on the sofa of a house that belonged to someone I didn't know, experiencing my first ever uni party, all for a few photos.

I spent a few minutes longer on the sofa, working up the courage to actually enter the main room, where the occasional cheering, laughter, and music came from.

Once my classmates friend had arrived, they both excused themselves and I sighed, checking my phone for the time once more before heading in as well.

The living area was a bit darker, flashes of different coloured lights changed to the beat of the music, two large speakers sat on a table in the corner of the room that a few people were dancing near. To my left, a group of guys gathered around a television, playing some version of a video game I wasn't aware of.

I smiled and waved at a few familiar faces every so often, then eventually found my way into the small kitchen, bottles of alcohol and half empty cups covered the majority of the countertop, the floor sticky with spilled drinks and crushed up crisps.

"Help yourself to a drink!" A girl called to me, leaned up against the counter, serving herself one as well. I'd seen her around campus a few times, usually accompanied by a large group of friends, probably in her final year. I wasn't entirely sure, but this might have been her party.

"Thanks," I smiled, reaching for a plastic cup and eyeing all the options of bottles without caps I had to choose from. I didn't plan on drinking any alcohol, leaving me with only one option: Sprite. Reaching for the bottle, I poured until my cup was about half full, then took a sip and made my way out of the kitchen.

I worked my way passed all the dancing and followed the slight breeze coming from outdoors. The humidity inside was almost suffocating— or maybe that was just anxiety. Either way, I stepped out and took a look around, my eyes drawn directly to the blue glow of the swimming pool, with two or three people stood in one corner, soaking in their undergarments.

I took out the camera, realizing it was actually a nice shot, and took a quick picture before sliding it back in my bag and turning towards the other end of the yard.

A group of people stood around, drinks in hand, talking about whatever. Another smaller group leaned against the wall, a cloud of smoke separating them and the rest of us, violent coughs being heard every so often. Then, finally, three girls sat around a pit of fire.

I quickly realized I wouldn't be spending much time here tonight at all. I figured i'd take a few more photos and be on my way, probably back to my room to hangout with my studying roommate. I just needed a few more pictures before going.