The Upside of Falling Back To You

chapter ten | the broken hearts club

I COULD BARELY drive straight on my way home.

In the condition I was in, I knew taking the highway would be a huge mistake. The local route wasn't that bad this time of day, but it was still longer, and all I wanted to do was curl up into my bed and disappear from the world for the next four to six weeks.

My hands shook while holding onto the steering wheel and my left leg kept bouncing around - which really wasn't ideal when driving. Part of me wanted to call Lucas to see if he was at the bakery, and if he could take a break to drive me home. But that would have required for me to talk to him, to tell him what happened, and I don't think I'm ready for that.

So, once most of my anger was gone - I knew the sadness and pain was going to stick around - I wiped my tears dried and began my trip home. There were moments where I had to pull over, where I had to stop and breathe and realise that that just happened.

How could I have been so stupid? How could I have not seen that? Now that I think of it, he did go out a lot, but I didn't know what his regular schedule was like, I just thought he went to see his work colleagues often. He was definitely a social butterfly. I never minded his trips, I didn't want to be seen as an obsessive girlfriend. But I couldn't help but think that this was my fault, too. That Jesper broke up with me because I didn't give him enough time.

Eventually, I managed to pull back into the driveway of my parents' home. I don't bother with the luggage, but I do take Jesper's Christmas gift with me. There was no point in wasting it - it was better in the hands of my brothers, anyways.

I could hear the shouting from outside the front door, making me hesitate before unlocking it. Shit. Of course, the holiday season was over, the Eastons said their goodbyes this morning and left about the same time I did this morning. Phoebe and Alexis Martin were back as their normal selves.

The door closes behind me quietly - I make sure of it.

"Don't you ever watch what you're doing?"

"Phoebe, it was an accident-"

"It happens every time, are we sure it's an accident? Here, here's another accident."

I hear a plate shatter. I gulped, hoping that it wasn't thrown across the room.

When I take my boots off, I realise there's an extra two pair of shoes. So, I guess not everyone left this morning. I wiped my eyes with the back of my sleeve, trying to make it seem like I was okay, but I'm sure if anyone looked closely, they'd see the streaks of tears on my cheeks.

I looked back down at the shoes, eyes focused on the tattered pair of Nike's sitting next to my boots. Did I really want to go upstairs, knowing he was upstairs, too? My fingers tapped against the present... I mean, I didn't have to give it to the boys now, I could just slip into my room for now.

My parents continue arguing in the kitchen. They're too focused on the miniscule problem at hand to notice me walk past, clearly shaking. The stairs creak under my weight as I go up.

Go up, turn the corner, don't even look into Griffin or Castor's room to check if he's there. Go into your room and hide under the covers until someone notices your presence. Just avoid him. Avoid him. Please just-

"Asteria!"

Damn it.

I turn left to Griffin's room instead of right to mine. The door is open and I could see Castor, Griff, Violet and, unfortunately, Ronan crammed in the bedroom, surrounding the computer monitor my brother spends a little too much time staring at. They each held a Nintendo controller in their hands, probably playing Mario Kart or something.