The Upside of Falling Back To You

chapter thirty | breathe

HERE'S YOUR UNOFFICIAL guide to what to do if your friend is having a panic attack. Step one: try not to panic yourself.

After I close the door behind me, and rush to her, dropping my stuff on the couch. "Oh god, oh god." I tried to stay calm. "Parv... Parv, it's okay. I'm here. I'm right here. Breathe, come on, deep breaths."

She wraps her arms around me, holding me close. She sobs softly, trying to keep herself under control. It takes a few minutes, a few deep breaths, before she pulls away from me and wipes her tears from the corners of her eyes.

I hold her hand, rubbing her palm with my thumb. "Hey... hey, you're okay. What happened?"

"I..." She gulped back tears. "I'm so sorry. I just... I should have told you earlier. I didn't want to... I didn't want to bother you on the cabin trip 'cause you already were dealing with your own shit and then Jamie was pregnant and you were busy and I just-"

"Slow down, slow down." I squeeze her hand. "How long has... whatever this is been going on?"

She sniffed. "I don't know. How long was I in medical school for?"

I paused. "Parv... Parv, you've spent so long in school. I thought you wanted to go into life sciences. I thought you wanted to be a doctor. I know your parents wanted you to become one too, but told me you made this decision on your own."

"My dad... my fucking dad. He... he..." Parv looked up. "I did want to be a doctor, I really did. But my dad's just been saying... he's been talking about it like it's his accomplishment, not mine. You know how fucked up it is... he still considers me his fucking property. Why the fuck is he like this."

She coughed lightly. "He doesn't get it. He doesn't get that I'm working my ass off for this. He doesn't get the stress. Hell, he doesn't believe in mental health. He doesn't give a fuck that I spend so many nights studying, so many hours into a dream that, yes is mine, but he thinks I'm doing it for him. He thinks I'll listen to him for everything. He expects me to do what he wants. Become what he wants-" And she inhales a sharp breath. "-marry who he wants me to."

Parv looks up, eyes full of tears. "Aster, I don't care if it's supposed to be a surprise. I literally don't give a fuck. But you have to be honest with me, okay?"

I nodded. My stomach began to churn, heart beginning to drop as I knew what was coming.

"Is Lucas planning to propose? I know if he'd tell anyone it would be you."

I gulped, then nodded. "I went to the cafe one day in December and he asked me what I thought, if it would be a good idea." I bit my lip. "I told him before he does anything, he has to talk to you."

"He did..." She sniffed. "He asked me once on the trip. He asked me what I thought about spending the rest of our lives together, he asked me if marriage was something I wanted." Parv rubbed her arm. "I said he was all I ever wanted. I said I'd be willing to spend all of eternity with him."

"Did he ask yet?" I know the question was studpid - if he did, she wouldn't have asked me if he was going to propose.

"Not me..." her voice faltered. "He didn't ask me, but I'm pretty sure he asked my dad for his blessing."

This... this can't be good. I rubbed the back of my neck. "I-"

"I don't know what he told Lucas. But I really... really doubt that it was his blessing. Lucas didn't say anything to me. Did he tell you anything?" I shook my head. Parv drew in another shark breath, and she returns to a state close to tears. "I'm so screwed Aster, I'm so fucking screwed."