The Upside of Falling Back To You

chapter eleven | let the good times roll

"GUYS, PLEASE." My face was buried into my pillow, the covers tossed over my head. "I'm not going on the trip. You guys can go."

Someone threw the blankets back. Growling, I removed my face from the section of the bed that seemed to have my face imprinted on it after the last twelve or so hours of me crying into my pillow.

"Asteria Martin." Laila holds me by the shoulders before I could retrieve the blankets. "I did not fly all the way back to Berkeley for this trip just for you to cancel on us the day of the trip. I literally haven't seen you in a year, I'm not leaving you behind."

"Well too fucking bad." I tried to loosen my friend's grip on me, but it was no use. Laila Nnamani was way too strong for me and I knew that.

She tossed her cornrow braids behind her shoulders. "Asteria, what else are you going to do if you don't come with us? Lie in bed for the next four days, remembering all the good times you and Jesper had while crying right after? You gon eat your weight in ice cream?"

"Don't forget drinking until I don't feel anymore," I mumbled, adding on to her list. Laila just rolled her eyes.

"Honestly, Asteria, going to the cottage is probably going to be a hundred times better for you than staying here, thinking about Jesper twenty-four-seven." Jamie sat on the other end of my bed. "The four of us can go and have a good time together and just forget about him."

"Okay, yeah, I'm all for a girls' night out but it's not just the four of us on this trip." I sniffed, reaching for the stuffed cat on the side of my bed, holding it close. "But this isn't exactly a girls trip, is it? I think the last thing I need is to be in a cabin with my four best friends and their boyfriends."

"Jiro and I are not together!" Jamie argued, crossing her arms.

"Whatever you say, Jay," Laila said, rolling her eyes. But then she turned back to me. "Aster, the guys are not just 'our boyfriends', like you said." Jamie was about to open her mouth and object to her statement, but Laila stopped her. "They're guys who probably know you almost as well as we know you. We grew up with them. You don't have to separate us as boyfriends and girlfriends - on this trip, we're just friends wanting to have a good time together before we all go our separate ways again."

"You guys don't get it, I just don't-"

"This isn't even about Jesper, is it, Asteria?"

My attention turned to Parvati, who finally moved away from the wall she was leaning against this entire time. Her fingers were pressed to her lips, which I knew she did when she was thinking through math problems - or, I guess now, my problems.

"I -" I stared at my friend, dumbstruck. "What?"

"What's holding you back more, the fact that Jesper just broke up with you and you want to do the typical I-want-to-stay-in-bed-and-cry-my-heart-out or the fact the Ronan is going on the trip, too?"

I wiped my eyes dry as Parv grabbed the chair by my desk and pulled it over.

"Parv, you seriously can't be asking that-"

Parv cut Jamie off. "Asteria Grace Martin, you are not the one the turn down a trip, especially one where all your friends are finally going to be together. Even after your past breakups, you still tagged along to all our trips, even if you spent half your time with us crying your eyes out."

"Those were different-"

"Asteria, let me be really blunt with you right now." I know Parv could be really straightforward at times, wanting to get her points across without interruption. "I know you're hurting, I don't doubt for a second that Jesper broke your heart really badly, but whether you like it or not, Ronan Easton is back into your life-"