collateral damage 🔞 - COMPLETE

•twenty-three• before

~~~~~Haerin

I woke up this morning in my bed, but so confused. I had accompanied Chul to a new club in Seoul that one of his friends owns. It's like 'RED' but run much better. Chul promised there are no requirements to provide anything but company and entertainment. It is our choice how far we go with the customers. I'll be paid just for being there, which is a first for me. I can make tips for accepting to spend 'time' with clients.

I remember there was no pressure to accept the job, and then Chul and I just sat and talked. Things got blurry then... The next thing I remember is waking up... Did I decide to get drunk? It would explain the splitting headache I have right now...

I pull myself out of the bed I share with my kids. They are sleeping soundly still, so I am careful to be quiet. In the bathroom I look at my face, seeing no indication of a hangover. My eyes were clear, and I have no marks that would indicate I fooled around either. I guess that is a relief, but why can't I remember?

Once my mouth and face are clean I head to make coffee. Today I'm going to enroll the kids in kindergarten. Naeun Unnie is renting an apartment across the hall, almost like in Busan. She found a good job with flexible hours to help me with the kids. I'm so grateful for her in my life. I know she wants me to enroll in University and follow my dream of becoming a producer. I don't feel the same pull to do that anymore though, so I am just going to focus on making money to get Mi-Hi the treatments she needs.

The doctor we visited here was much more hopeful than the joker in Busan. He said it's not necessary to send her away to a facility, but that there are clinics here that can provide the same treatments. They cost a lot of money though, and moving here ate away a large part of my savings. I have a couple interviews set up at local bars and cafes tomorrow, so hopefully I'll find a job. A respectable job...

"Oooo... Coffee... Can I have a cup?"

Unnie's voice greets me from the door, and I just smile and nod. She moves to take off her shoes and accepts the mug I hold out to her.

"Do you really think Mi-Hi is ready for school Unnie? I'm worried."

"We're going to find out today. They'll probably have her participate in the class while we meet with them. Ye-Jun will be with her, so don't worry."

She calms me down about this thing I'm worried about, and we sit in silence. Now I only have to worry about how she'll be judged by her peers. Ye-Jun appears in front of me stretching his small body while yawning. I chuckle at his cuteness, but think how much he looks like his father. My smile falls a little thinking about him. It's been 5 years now. I've accepted that he moved on and is living the life he's meant for. I've accepted that I don't fit into his world and never will.

"What's in your mind Hae? You look... Sad."

"Oh... No, I'm fine... I wasn't thinking anything specific."

"You know Haerin... I've been around you for 10 years now... You have never been a good liar."

I meet Naeun Unnie's eyes and can't help but laugh at her raised brow. I nod at her to agree that she knows me better than I know myself.

"Sorry... I was just thinking how much Ye-Jun looks like... Well, you know."

"Oh Hae... I'm sorry... I shouldn't have said anything."

"Nope... I'm fine. I've accepted it. He isn't meant to be mine anymore. He is the past, and I got the best gift ever from knowing him."

I try to believe the words that leave my lips. I paste a smile on and look over at Ye-Jun and Mi-Hi who are on the bed together. Ye-Jun, sitting while rubbing his sister's back to try and gently wake her. He's the most considerate brother, and I'm happy again that I had 2 at once. They'll never be lonely because they have each other.