collateral damage 🔞 - COMPLETE

°seventy-two•

Six months

~~~~~Haerin

Staring at Dr. Kang, I fight my irritation at her wanting to keep me here. She thinks another month will only strengthen the integration of the Raven persona, and it is best for the long run. I don't agree... I'm suffocating here, and just want to be with my kids and Jeongguk. I understand her fear considering the small setback I had a couple weeks ago, but I'm not backing down.

Part of the therapy I've gone through, has helped me be more confident. I need to not be so submissive, and speak up for myself. My whole life I've been taught to follow what my parents, and then Beom-Seok, told me to do. I let myself disappear, and didn't stand up out of fear most of the time. Whenever I tried, I received physical pain, so I stopped fighting back... I submitted... Not anymore... I want to go home!

"Dr. Kang... I'm leaving tomorrow. I've fulfilled the court required therapy. Jeongguk is going to be here, and I will leave with him."

"Haerin... I just don't want you to end up back here. Another month will solidify all the things you've learned. I think you should reconsider."

"No. I will see you on an out patient basis, but I won't stay. If something happens, I'll call you if I can't handle it on my own."

I'm surprised by the big smile that forms on her face. She is nodding, and I just stare at her.

"Good! I was testing you. I think you're ready actually, and I will meet you back in Seoul for weekly therapy. You've done a really great job here Haerin. I'm proud of you!"

Half of me wants to slap the shit out of the good doctor, but I understand why she did it. I was actually really scared that she was going to force me to stay here. I was already making plans to escape... Tomorrow... Jeongguk will be here tomorrow!! My heart pounds thinking of him, and how it will feel to be wrapped in his arms. I miss him so much.

~~~~~Jeongguk

I barely slept last night. My bag is packed, and I'm so excited. It's been so long... 168 days... 241,920 minutes... 14,515,200 seconds... Every passing one was agony. But today's the day... I'm going to Daegu to pick up my Haerin, and we're going to spend a night there. Tomorrow, we'll come back and start our life together with the kids. I hope she still wants that... We haven't really talked about it, so part of me wonders if she might feel differently.

I had my stylist cut my hair, and color it for me. I want to look good, and not like the mess I've been the last months. Double checking that I haven't forgotten anything, I take my bag and head to the members dorm. When I walk in I'm attacked by my kids, who want to make sure I'll give their notes and artworks to their Mom. I pick them both up, and kissing cheeks, promise that I'll do what they ask.

A much healthier Jimin comes and pulls a squealing Mi-Hi from me, tickling her. I go over my schedule and plans for the next couple days with Yoongi Hyung. He reserved us a suite at his favorite hotel, and gave me some things to do if we want to get out. Escaping after getting some teasing about how we'll probably not leave the room, I jump in my car. Suddenly feeling nerves about seeing her again, I put on some music, and just drive.

When I arrive at the facility that Haerin has been in for 6 months, I have to choke back my tears. It looks like a prison. There are only small windows, and they all have bars on them. I understand the reason most of the people are in this place, and it's painful thinking that my girlfriend is also classified as "mentally ill"... Worse than that... "Criminally insane" is what the judge called her. My palms are sweaty and my legs are unsteady, as I make my way to the entrance.

When I walk inside, the hospital smell is strong, and the air conditioning is turned too high. The obese man at the front desk eyes me suspiciously as I'm wearing a mask and my bucket hat. I approach him, and ask for Haerin. Rocking back and forth on my feet, I watch as he looks up something in his computer. When he speaks, the stench from his breath tells me he cares nothing about his dental hygiene, and I actually move backwards. Pointing me to a waiting area, he says she'll be down soon.