To Know

Chapter 6

Search: How does childhood trauma affect actions

'Without early intervention and help, traumatized children grow up to be traumatized adults, often having abnormal reactions to stress classic physical ailments, relationship problems, learning difficulties, and tendencies to engage in risky behaviours like drug abuse and law breaking.'

That didn't explain much. Slapping me was an 'abnormal' reaction but how was what she did stressful or anything else listed?

She clicked on the website.

Clicking on the website, she realised quickly it was talking about under 6s. She was looking for 14/15.

Before another search, she clicked on another website.

It was clearly about a child younger than she was looking for. It was also described her better than John, so it was unreliable.

Search: how does trauma affect behaviour

'Initial reactions to trauma can include exhaustion, confusion, sadness, anxiety, agitation, numbness, dissociation, confusion, physical arousal, and blunted affect.'

It wasn't initial, so that didn't fit.

However, it did fit some of John's behaviour after he initially came back from Arlo beating him up.

It turned out to be a research project. Although she would like to read it, she needed to know more about the subject first.

A lot were still about children.

'A traumatized person can feel a range of emotions both immediately after the event and in the long term. They may feel overwhelmed, helpless, shocked, or have difficulty processing their experiences. Trauma can also have physical symptoms. Trauma can have long-term effects on the person's well-being.

That sounded like more of what she's looking for.

It was interesting. It did fit with John in her unqualified mind.

Then the 'PTSD' subtitle came up. It sparked her curiosity because... it also fit with what the article said.

It was getting late. She should do more in the morning...

Like sign up for some Psychology classes.

Seraphina flung the glass door open into the school corridor. All eyes turned to her.

"Oh my gosh! Isn't that Seraphina?"

"She's back!"

"What did she get in trouble for?"

"Who knows."

"But it must've been pretty terrible if they were willing to suspend her!"

The girl near her squirmed under her gaze, but she was holding a copy of the School's newspaper. The front cover was 'Seraphina returns after one month suspension – by Abby!'

She sighed.

What do they find so interesting about me?

She walked through the corridor. Keeping her eyes to herself.

Even Blyke and Isen talked behind her back about her. The top wasn't spared from the gossip mill.

She went up to the roof and played on her phone, although it wasn't like she could do much with a smashed screen.

At lunch, the door swung open to reveal John with a lunch tray.

"Hey! Sera!" he called as he walked over. Unfortunately, he was back with the hair gel. He sat down next to her. "Sooo, how's your day been so far?"

"Nothing different really," she replied, exasperated. "But with all eyes on me, there's no doubt they'll find out about it eventually."

John gave her a look. One eyebrow; one eyebrow raised.

"What?" she asked.

"What's with that attitude?" he questioned, sandwich in hand. "Just stay up here for the next few days and don't confront anyone. Easy. Nobody's gonna try to mess with you up here. Everything will be fine!"

John took a bite of his sandwich.

"But it doesn't feel right," she responded.

"Hm?"

"Changing my schedule just to hide the fact that I lost my ability."

"Why? It's just for a little while. You can blow shit up all you want later."

"That's not what I meant. It just seems unnecessary, so what if people find out? They'll be too afraid to challenge me anyway. The school might talk about it for a bit, but I don't really mind. It's true after all. What's the worst that can happen?"

"You don't understand," John replied. His voice dropped. "The moment you fall, people become cruel."

"Huh?" Had she heard him correctly? "What was that?"

"I still think it's better to keep it a secret," he explained. "Just to stay safe."

"Hm." Did something happen to John when she was suspended? He was acting differently. "What ever happened to that whole let's-do-stupid-stuff-together-who-cares-what-happens mentality? 'Broken limbs aren't gonna stop me'!"

"Hey, there's a difference between having fun and self-sabotage!" he play yelled. "I'm trying to minimise suffering here! I don't want you to get hurt!"

John could look so like his dad with the hair gel. Did her and her mother ever look like that?

"Do you self-sabotage then?" she asked.

"No, what do you mean?" he exclaimed, knocking the apple off the tray. "I'm a cripple. I could never keep that a secret for three years."

"Then why should I have to hide it? You don't."

"It's temporary and you get straight As. You can afford to skip class. Plus, again, it's temporary."

"How did you even get into Wellston? You're not that great of a student and you're a cripple."

Wait, he got in due to his ability.

"Avoiding that, Sera, not having an ability isn't as simple as you think!" John stated. "When you're always stuck in situations where there's no way to fight back, it starts messing with you." He pointed to his head. "I'm here. You feel trapped. Angry. Detached from yourself. It sucks."

Ever since I got back, he's been different. A bit colder and more distant. So this was the result of my absence.

"There's no reason for you to risk going through that, especially when it's avoidable." He looked up to the sky. "Please be careful, at least for this week."

"Alright, I see," she replied. One leg rested against the ground full length extended.

"Wait, you do?" he questioned. Almost an exclamation.

"Yeah, I guess I'll take your advice," she responded. She rested her head against the fence. "If you must insist."

He smiled. "Hah, okay."

A/N: All links to sources are under the initial quote from the website. As a clarification, more research should be done that Seraphina does when wanting to help a friend with a mental illnesses (for other ways of helping than just getting them into therapy, which should be the first thing to recommend).