BELLADONNA

Book two; chapter three

"Shit," you muttered to yourself as you clutched to your stomach, in immense pain. You'd been shot, of course, what else did you expect? You ended up getting so dizzy you had to find a place to lean. You had unfortunately ended up in an alleyway.

You regretted not listening to Dazai.

"Hey!" Did someone find you? You moved your hand to feel your stomach. You lifted it up to see it covered in blood. In your own blood. "Are you okay?!" Of course you weren't. You were obviously bleeding out. "I'm going to help you, alright? You'll be okay!"

You didn't feel like it. You had barely been feeling okay the past few days. You'd been put to the frontlines of the mafia, and you didn't like it. You knew what it was like. But to be caught in the midst of it, to be injured when you signed up for this as a child to be in the back. You weren't born to be a fighter after all.

You'd work your hands until they bled holding a quill, you'd lose the moisture in your eyes from never blinking to read, but you couldn't fight.

You woke up, not feeling anything. Not even the headache from before. The pain had been lifted from your whole body. You were still in that alleyway, where you'd been shot. You saw the dried blood around you. You looked down to your stomach and you saw a small trace of the wound, a small scar. It hadn't disappeared but it had gone for the most part. You didn't want to press at it, afraid you'd reawaken the pain.

A few moments later, you decided staying there was not a good option. You'd gotten shot. The reality sunk in. The pain you'd felt in such a short while sunk in. And the fact that you're next move may have been the most cowardly yet smartest decision in your life couldn't sink in because you did it in a flash.

You dialed Mori, and he answered immediately. You were sure he knew what you were to say. "Goodbye."

You swear you heard the smirk in his voice. "Not even an explanation."

"Would you like me to say I'm a coward? I admit it."

"No, I would say you're quite idiotic. It took you six years to do this."

"Oh well, I needed a place to call home." You hesitated. "Thank you, I guess, for giving me that."

"You leave at the perfect time. Is it not your birthday tomorrow?"

"I don't know when my birthday is," you answered simply. "My birth certificate is forged."

"Ah, but the day you joined us is a birthday of sorts, no? The same day you joined is the day you decide to leave."

"I'd prefer to never celebrate it again," you sighed. "I hope to never see you again as well."

"It'll be much sooner than you'd like Y/N."

"I'm not stupid, I know that. I simply hope."

"You're adjusting well to life outside the mafia then."

"Goodbye," you said a final time, before ending the call, and throwing away the phone. You were leaving this life. You weren't going to be looking back.

Yet here you were.

Mori had shoved you into your old room. Everything that was yours had been taken out, there was nothing to reminisce about. They left no trace of your being here. They were the port mafia, so the thoroughness was expected.

You did your best to imagine how it would look if they left it the same from your youth. The bed would be at the back of the room, facing the side. You had a vanity for some reason. You never used the luxury. You had a safe, in which you'd never kept money. It was a fairly empty room besides that. Everything was bright pink or red, on Mori's instructions.

You sat at a long dining table, Elise at the head of the table whilst you sat near her. There were dozens of sweets in front of you. Elise said they were a welcome back present. You felt like you were Persephone in the underworld; if you ate one of these sweets you would be stuck in the Port Mafia forever. Again.

You'd blocked out the conversation Mori and Elise were having, simply playing with the sweet in your hand, observing it nervously, until Chuuya walked in. "Boss, we received word that the agency got to the scene ahead of us and took Kouyou away. We can't take rash action now that one of the top five executives has been taken hostage."

"Ah, but we have Y/N to counteract that, right? Knowing Dazai though.. He wouldn't do anything rash, he's smart...Okay! Let's kill the president of the agency! I prefer assassination. If we hire outside contractors, we'll spare outselve the labor and we can focus on confronting the guild."

You couldn't bring yourself to breathe. Not in or out, no exhale or inhale.

You hoped someone had realized you were missing. You were sure Dazai did. You didn't want him to barge in irrationally, so you'd wait. You'd be patient.
You hoped you wouldn't have to wait for too long though.