BELLADONNA

book three; chapter one

TW: a lot more in depth talk about suicide (i know, it's Dazai, but there's more than usual)

"All right, everyone ready?!" You called out, as you handed Yosano a party popper. Everyone yelled yes in unison, and you finally stood where you were supposed to be, admiring the work the agency put into the small, rushed party.

"The doors opening!" Kenji whisper-yelled, making everyone hold their breath. The party poppers burst, not in unison, but they looked pretty falling down so something went right.

"Ready and..!" Ranpo yelled. The agency smiled and yelled. "Congratulations on joining the agency Kyoka-chan!"

The party began, and it was all extremely heartwarming. Dazai couldn't make it, but you still enjoyed the time you spent with the rest of the agency, eating cake, drowning out Kunikida fretting about the costs with Yosano yelling about how great drinking is, eating sweets that Ranpo didn't steal, hugging Kyoka. The girl looked unadulterated and free spirited. It seemed as if any nervousness that might have built up in her was all gone now.

That was great for her, but horrible for you, whose nerves were all on fire right now.

You were shivering, yet you felt warm as well. You were extremely nervous as you walked alongside Dazai, on the Yokohama bay bridge.

He would surely ask now.

The moon was up. The sun had set. It wasn't as beautiful as last time, but the memory would forever be ingrained.

Dazai stopped when you'd made it to the centre of the bridge. He looked ahead. You followed his eyes out at the city. There were two other people, far away, standing, facing each other. "That's Akutagawa and Atsushi-kun," Dazai said, amused.

You squinted, trying to make out the images of them both, but they were too far away to see clearly. The all white and all black was clear, however.

You turned to Dazai. "Osamu?" He hummed. "I thought you would've been straight up with me."

"Ah," he sighed, looking slightly upset. "Well, I forgot to tell you, but I figured I should be honest. We'll be getting into more trouble soon."

"That's not something I never expected," you commented. You looked ahead again. "But does this mean the proposal has to be postponed again?"

"It's probably for the best. A girlfriend is something, but a fiancée?" Dazai looked down at the sea. "They would know you're special and come after you. The Port Mafia didn't harm you, but you wouldn't be that lucky with these people. I know what I'd try to do if I lost you."

You looked down at the sea as well. "I know, too. So, I'll never leave, because in no way will I let one of your suicide attempts be successful."

Dazai smiled. "Remember the first time we met?"

"I try not to," you joked, glancing at him. "Why remind me, though? You're not a very reminiscent person."

"I was very dead back then, huh?" Dazai rested his chin on his palm. "My voice was like," he lowered his voice and mocked how it sounded when he was fifteen. "Boss, can you make me a concoction that would kill me."

You chuckled at hearing him nail his old voice. There really felt like there was no life in his voice when he was younger. You only knew he was somewhat lively, from the first interaction you'd had with him.

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