BELLADONNA

book one; chapter six

"He called me his sister! And- And he has the audacity to bring another woman into the house when he knows this is the worst ti- you know what, there is no time for bringing a woman into the house, don't bring other woman into the house, and I don't know if he was planning on doing anything, but what if- what if they are?! What if they're- what if he's- what if"-

Haruno hushed you and drew circles around your back, something that reminded you too much of Dazai and made you sob even harder.

That was basically what last night consisted of. For you.

Dazai had gotten up earlier than usual, for one specific reason. He wanted to quietly apologize to you and explain why he brought this girl to their home. He knew you'd probably be seething, he was honestly surprised when he didn't hear you crying, but then he realized you were probably too mad to be crying for him.

He snuck into the living room to see the pile of blankets covering your whole body. Maybe you had been crying under it to muffle your cries? Even then, you would be uncomfortable being like that. He carefully lifted up the blanket, to see no head. He lifted it more, to still see no sign of you. He pulled up the blanket to see nothing. Just the couch and some pillows. His eyes widened. He swore his heart stopped.

Where were you?

He ran to the bathroom, to the closet, any room you'd be. Last room was the kitchen which he was ignoring, because the kitchen was where you had left your phone, he remembered. If your phone wasn't here, you probably weren't either.

And it wasn't there.

Dazai cursed under his breath as he stumbled to the door, grabbing his trench coat and quickly slipping on shoes before hurrying out for work. "Dazai-san?" He turned to his door to see Sasaki peeking her head out. "Where are you going in such a hurry?"

"Oh, sorry, my- um- sister, isn't home! She's probably at the agency though, get changed quickly and let's go look." She nodded and headed inside, Dazai following after, waiting for her at the door, very jittery, biting his nails to the point where he didn't have anything to bite.

He called you and texted you multiple times, but you didn't answer. You didn't pack your things up, so you didn't leave, right?

Once Sasaki was done, he rushed him and her to the agency. "You should- you can stay in the infirmary for now," Dazai pushed her to the bed, not hurting her in anyway, then left the room, looking for you.

He headed to the clerks room, and all the heads in the room quickly turned to him. Everyone in that room glared but he didn't care, he looked around for you. "Where's Y/N?" He asked hurriedly. When he got no answer, just glares, he grit his teeth and repeated his question more harshly.

"She doesn't want to see you," Naomi answered.

"I don't care, I want to know where she is"-

"She's fine, absolutely fine, and if she sees you, she isn't going to feel that way, so shut up and get out of here!" The other clerks gaped at her, surprised she would raise her voice at an actual member of the armed detective agency.

"Just- Just tell me she's alright?" He asked softly.

Naomi paused, debating whether of not she should inform him about your state. Sobbing in the bathroom, Haruno giving you everything you needed, while you could barely utter a word. "Safe?" He interrupted her thoughts. "Is she safe?"

"Why are you-" Naomi stopped herself and sighed. "Of course she's safe."

Dazai let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. "Thank God... look, um, I- I have reasons, alright? She should know"-

"I don't want to hear excuses Dazai-san!" Naomi pushed him towards the door. "Just leave before Y/N comes"-

The door swung upon and Dazai made eye contact with you. The first thing he saw was your puffy red eyes, the next thing was the tissue frantically wiping away at your tears, some tears already having stained your precious face and the last thing he noticed was the utter heartbreak in your eyes once you saw him. A sniffle from you broke him out from his thoughts and he walked away.

But once he heard your cries again, he stopped. His heart- he was honestly surprised he even had one- couldn't take it.

He swiftly turned around and grabbed your hand, pulling you away from the protesting bunch of clerks, and dragged you to the supply closet. You bit your lip and looked down, away from Dazai, so he couldn't see tears building up.

"Belladonna," he protested, moving around, trying to get himself in line of your sight. "Y/N, Y/N, please look. Look at me."

After he struggled for a few moments, he placed his hands on your cheeks and moved yoru face up, to look at him. "Y/N. Listen. I- I was being stupid. Very stupid. And I shouldn't have been stupid. You're a grown ass woman, you can take care of yourself. And actually, I thought about it, and I like it. I like you working here the best because there's a lot of people to protect you. It's more dangerous, but it's more safe. If that makes sense?"

You chuckled lightly at his serious tone fading away to a more confused one, and he smiled brightly seeing you laugh, ever so slightly. "I- I hope you can forgive me. I've been stupid a lot before, I know, and I know this was way worse because I brought someone over but"-

"I know, I figured it out. Don't say it aloud."

"You figured"- You placed a finger on his lips, shushing him.

"Just now. I figured it out."

He grinned. "You'd be a better detective than a clerk ,you know?"

"I like staying in my safe little spot, thank you very much," you smiled softly, booping his nose. "I-"

"No, me first," he nuzzled into your shoulder, breathing in your intoxicating scent. "I love you."

You ran a hand through his hair, also breathing him in, too tired to smile, but feeling very, very happy. "I love you too."