Classroom of the Elite:SS Collection

I will love you forever (Ichinose Honami)

"I am really sorry, Ichinose but I can't reciprocate your feelings."

A feeling of despair overtook my body the moment he said those words. I had anticipated as much. I knew that he would turn me down. But I wonder why I was still feeling uneasy and my heartfelt as if crushed by a big boulder, way too big for me.

"I-Is that so? Can I ask the reason why?"

I knew what the reason was. It was all too obvious but I wanted to hear it from his mouth; I wanted this to end once and for all.

"It is because I already have a girlfriend. Sorry."

"Huh?"

A dumbfounded voice escaped from my mouth the moment I heard him say the term girlfriend.

He had a girlfriend? I couldn't believe it at first. He was taciturn and didn't speak much with others so he wasn't popular with the girls like he should have been.

"W-Who is it?"

A sudden curiosity made me ask that question.

He didn't answer immediately and was deliberating over whether to say it or not. It made me even more curious.

I haven't seen that many girls hang around him. The only girl that came to my mind was Horikita-san. 

"I haven't told anyone about our relationship to others. I am in a relationship with Kei."

"Kei? You mean Karuizawa Kei?"

He nodded to my question and I couldn't hide my surprise.

It wouldn't have been that surprising for me if he had said that it was Horikita-san but why mention someone like Karuizawa-san? Wasn't she supposed to be Hirata-kun's girlfriend? Ah, but they had already broken up a few months ago. 

I looked at his eyes.

His gaze was honest. It didn't seem like he was lying and I felt the same.

If he really just wanted to say a random girl's name to fend me off then the best choice would have been Horikita-san of course. But he rather said the name of a girl that I could have never imagined in a million years. 

"R-Really?"

"Sorry."

"Why are you apologizing to me Ayanokoji-kun? It's not like you did anything wrong here! Aha-aha-aha."

I managed to bark a laugh. I was fighting. I was fighting to hold it in. 

"I-I will head back to my room now. See you later!"

Saying that I swiftly turned around and started acing away. It was becoming harder for me by the moment to hold it in.

"Ichinose! We haven't told about our relationship to others yet so please keep it a secret."

"Of course I will!"

I didn't turn towards him while answering him. It was because I knew that my eyes were getting watery.

I rushed and sat down with my back to the railing of the ship. There was no one around and the world around me was empty and tranquil as if it had anticipated me coming here.

It was getting darker by the moment and I felt as if assaulted by a cold sea wind.

The moment I sat down, tears started flowing out from my eyes. I had reached my limit and the tears burst out like water flowing from a dam.

He could have turned me down saying that he had no love interests as of now or saying that we were from different classes. But instead, he chose to say the truth.

I know that when he said the Karuizawa-san was his girlfriend, he wasn't lying. I just knew from looking at his eyes.

He could have come up with some excuses but he revealed that he was in a relationship with Karuizawa-san. He also added that their relationship was still a secret and it was true, after all, there were no such rumors about them going around in the school. 

His relationship was still a secret but he chose to reveal that to me. And why exactly?

It was to crush all hopes that I might have held if otherwise. If I was made to learn that he was in a relationship with someone else, my hopes would shatter at that very moment. He said those exactly because he knew what would be the results of that.

He must have thought, after some time, I would recover from my heartbreak and move forward with new goals for my class. That was why he chose to reveal his secret relationship to me.

He still cared for me. He wanted me to move forward and aim in reaching towards Class A without any obstacles. That was why, although he knew that it was ruthless of him, he revealed the truth to me. And after some time my feelings for him would subside. That was what he was aiming for and that was why he revealed to me the fact that he was dating Karuizawa-san.

He had anticipated quite accurately. I would continue to fight and will aim for reaching to the to. But he miscalculated one thing and that was the fact that my feelings for him would subside.

"How could he even think that?!"

I cried.

No matter what, I would never stop loving him. How oblivious he could be?

By mercilessly revealing the truth to me, he hoped that I would stop loving him.

It wasn't going to happen in the slightest. 

After all, he was my first ever love. And after all,

"I will love you forever, Kiyotaka!"

With still tears in my eyes, I called out the name of the person, the dearest to me, with all the force I could muster, and that painful cry was carried away by a strong, cold wind, and disappeared along. 

Although my heart-rending cry disappeared into the silent night, I knew that these strong feelings that I have for him would never disappear.