RikuxSuzune fanfic

Disappointment

AYANOKOJI  POV

Monday evening when Horikita called me to come over to her room.

It seemed like she finally wanted to continue the unfinished discussion that we had last friday about the 20 million bounty exam. No, that wasn't even a discussion. In fact, we only argued.

Unlike last time when she welcomed me with a scary expression, it seems like the one that I will be talking to tonight is the usual Horikita.

"First, I would like to apologize for my attitude last time. I know that I should not-....... I mean..... it was wrong for me to suspect you with something that you did not do."

No, it's not the usual Horikita. 

She never once looked at my face ever since I entered her room, even now that she's speaking.

Horikita then cleared her throat. It's as if she was preparing herself for what she was about to say.

"And.... it was also true that it was all because I was pretending that I fully knew you."

I see. So out of everything that I said before, that was what she was most dissatisfied with.

For almost two years of being classmates, I knew that Horikita already had a bit of understanding of me. Considering how we worked together several times during exams and how she knew some of the incidents that involved me and some strategies that I made to help our class. In fact, all her suspicions that she said last time were all true.

"But.... I would like to ask and be stubborn one last time."

Horikita then made eye contact with me for the first time.

"All my suspicions, was all of it really wrong?"

Her eyes were pleading with the right answers. 

Answers that she wanted to hear and will satisfy her. No, there's something even deeper than that.

Trust.

That's what she wants.

The truth is, I actually felt that Horikita trusted me more than before, just like what Utomiya thought.

Now, I suddenly remembered when Utomiya brought up my trust issues with Horikita when I talked with him the other day. The look of his eyes that time was also telling me that I should trust her.

Until now, I still don't know what was his real intention for that.

Does he care for her feelings? Or was it just part of his plans?

But.....

"Yeah. It was all wrong."

Sorry Horikita. It's not like I don't have any trust in you. It's just, it's something that you shouldn't get involved with.

"I see."

As soon as she heard my answer, I already expected that look on her face. Disappointment. It's as if she knew that I was lying.

Horikita then became quiet, her eyes looking down. She was probably trying to understand me and my reasons.

Shortly after, she raised her head and looked me in the eyes.

But now, no single trace of disappointment was seen on her face. The look of her eyes made me feel that she found a new, stronger resolve.

"Since I made you confused last time and did not tell you every information I gathered from Utomiya-kun, I will tell you everything I know now."

Horikita proceeded to tell everything from the start and all the names involved in that secret special exam.

She even said that Utomiya did not give her time to investigate him as he already revealed and answered her first question without any hesitation cause he believed that he already proved to her that he was not interested in it anymore.