Shifted

2.

Kalaya

Trigger warning- sexual assault/death

My breath seemed to freeze inside of my chest as I slipped into my hut of a home. The front door, that was basically just a piece of wood, had fallen halfway, allowing cold air to bleed inside. Momma must have been too weak to prop it up right. The thought made me feel both rushed and reluncant to get inside.
Everything in me screamed something was wrong. Clutching the bag my new human friend, Josalena, had given me, I slipped inside and scanned the small area as the cold dirt beneath my feet squished between my bare feet, my toes and claws curling into the mud as my eyes land on a horrific image that I know I'll see every time I close my eyes.
Momma had tried to crawl out of bed, and didn't make it far. Half her body was off the makeshift mattress, her arm outstretched, towards the door. Her long black hair that was similar to mine was spilled all around her, covering her face. I knew instantly she was dead, I could hear no heartbeat; my sensitive hearing could pick up the heart beats of those next door but none in here. If a rat were inside I'd have even heard it's heart. There was no breath no sound coming from Momma.
There was also no strong odor which meant she hadn't been dead long. If I had gotten here sooner, by a day or hours...maybe even minutes.
A low whine came out of me and filled the air as I reached out to touch her.
So cold. With a shiver, I pulled back. Not minutes then. Hours at least. The whole world seemed to be vibrating and shaking. I looked around and realized it was only my body that was trembling so badly.
I no longer could hold my weight as the harsh reality hit me.
I was truly alone now. Momma was always so weak and sickly after Da died, becoming more of a burden than being a parent. For a sick twisted moment I could only feel relief. Finally, I was alone in this world with no one to look after to worry about.
And then the moment passed as I crawled closer to Momma, curling myself around her cold body as sobs started rack my body.
If only I hadn't gotten caught!
She died horribly and in pain. And alone.
Suddenly I forgot about everything. About going back to that cage. About Josalena. About my promise. My mind seemed to curl into itself as my body did.
Alone. All alone. I failed momma. And by doing so I failed Da.
Despair took over me as cold tears trekked down my face, feeling as they they were freezing to my cheeks before they could fully fall as the night chill seeped in thru the cracks of the hut.
My chest felt as if it were being hacked into two by a rusty axe as I stroked Mommas hair and whispered to her that everything was ok.
"I'm here now," I spoke thru the lump in my throat.

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I wasn't sure how long passed by as I lay there, but sunlight seeped through my small cold home.
And then came the shouts of warning.
"They're coming! Guards are here!" I could see the shadow of someone running passed my wooden door as he raced by each of the homes calling out the warning.
With a gasp, I shot up from the hard packed dirt floor as my eyes landed on Momma. Still dead.
I knew I would need to carry her to our gravesite and bury or burn her in the pit. But I couldn't move a muscle as I stared down at her again, seeing how hard she had tried to make it from bed. Had she starved to death? Before I left her we hadn't eaten in three days. Was her stomach eating itself as mine is now? Did she feel that desperation of hunger so badly she tried to crawl towards the door?
Was she trying to look for me? Worried about me?
"Oh Momma," I whispered hearing the heartbreak in my own ears as I crouched down and stroked her hair.
I snapped out of the haze of despair and grief when I heard the neighbors door get kicked in.
"Where's that young cat looking bitch?!" I heard a growl, my sensitive ears twitching as my neighbors heart picked up in speed. With wide eyes, it all came back to me.
I was supposed to be back in that damned cage. And now they were looking for me.
Noticing the pack Josalena had given me, still on the floor, I grabbed it and rushed to my small hiding spot where I kept a wooden box buried. Swiping away some dirt I pulled on the small wooden board and placed the pack inside the box before placing the board back on top and recovering it with dirt. And then i placed the few fire logs we had left on top and then placed the cooking pot on top of that. So now it looked like the spot where we made food.
Now at least if I got caught, she wouldn't go down with me. The sweet human with wide round brown eyes and midnight skin that almost looked like it shimmered in the sunlight.
There was no chance to hide or run as my pathetic excuse of a door was knocked down.
"Here!" A young guard with ink black hair yelled in triumph as he stepped into the hut. He seemed so excited to find me but when his eyes dropped to my mom, dead on the floor, he paused. And then flinched as he looked back up at me in horror.
His eyes scanned my dirty tear streaked face and wide eyes. His features seemed to soften slightly but then his eyes hardened as his gaze flicked up to the ears on top of my head and the tail of mine that twitched nervously.
"Filthy animal, you've been a bad girl," he sneered as other guards rushed into my small hut.
Now there was five of them and the first guy with green eyes and thin lips smirked at me before stepping up and scooping up Mommas body.
"I'll make sure she gets to the burning pits," he said to me before looking at the others and then was gone as one of the now four repropped the door back, closing us all in this space in private.
My stomach dropped as I looked at the leers on their faces. And I knew. What was about to happen. I heard whispers about it. Even overheard it happening twice before.
My knees grew weak as the first one, a blonde fellow with a scar on his lip stepped forward, along with another blonde man, but with dark eyes and a rounded stomach moved as one and grabbed me. They sandwiched me in, the others circling as the chubby one wrapped his big meaty fingers around my throat and squeezed. Not enough that I couldn't breath, but enough.
and then the other one was sucking on my neck. No words. No anything. Just straight to the point.
I'm an animal! I wanted to scream. Shouldn't doing this disgust you as your leaders always preach of the wrongness of what they planned to do?
Sex with a halfbreed. Humans saw it as taboo as something so shameful... but yet guards took advantage of us all the time.
No! Not me, I wanted to cry. But an evil voice inside me started laugh.
Why not you?
"Stop," I finally managed as another guard stepped forward and his hands reached out and started groping my breasts and the chubby one started touching me between my legs, as the one behind me grinded into my backside. It felt as if I were being pulled every direction. Panic flared inside of my chest as my heavy breathing filled the small space. I knew my neighbors could hear everything. How many times have I heard a neighbor get a brutal beating in their home? How many did I sit and listen to get dragged away or killed?
Too many times. And not once did I try to help. Same as my neighbors wouldn't try to help me.
It would be a death sentence on spot.
My heart was pounding so loud, it filled my ears and all I could think as they started tearing at my clothing was the thought,
At least Mommas isn't here to see this.
Hands suddenly shoved me hard to my knees and I felt the pain shot up thighs to my hips.
I wouldn't do as they asked. I would stay still and keep my eyes closed. They could kill me now, I didn't care. All the fight was gone from me.
"What's going on here?" A woman's voice rang out in rage. With blurry vision, I looked up to see my door once again gone and a human guard standing there looking at us with disapproval. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a guard tucking himself back into his pants. "Is this beastiality that I see?" Her eyebrows were raised so high they always made it to her hairline. She wore wire glass frames that sat on her upturned nose. "Maybe my glasses have gone foggy?" She taps her chin as the men suddenly broke apart from me.
"We were just about to bring her in," chubby said as they grabbed me from either side, pulling me back to my feet as I held my tattered shirt together so my chest would no longer be on display.
"I'll take her, you lot go round up the rest of the guards, call off the search," she said as she came inside and grabbed my wrists, tying them together, avoiding my gaze until the last guard was gone from even hearing range. "You're lucky I found you," She breathed out a sigh of relief, the corners of her eyes wrinkling as she smiled for a millisecond at me. "I was afraid this would happen when I heard it was a young lady we were looking for."
So this happens a lot more than I thought. It made my toes curls in disgust. My stomach felt like it was rolling and if I had anything in it to throw up I would.
I blinked at her as she stepped back from me, my wrists now bound together by slim chains and a small lock. She frowned down at my ripped shirt. It was barley covering me. The slightest wind could blow it open thanks to the new rip down the middle. I held my arms tight against my chest to prevent that as she started to lead me away from my home. I looked back at it and had a thought that this may be the last time I saw it.
"Little one, you have no idea how bad the General is going to beat on you when I bring you back." she tucks a stray strand of grey hair that falls from her pony tail, behind her ear. "No one has escaped that cage before. I don't know how you did it, but he's pissed off."
"Why?" I croaked out, and it seems she knows what I'm asking before even I do.
"Men are disgusting darling. Animal or not, rape is not ok," she said fiercely and I could see in her eyes she knew a thing or two about it personally. "It's why I joined," she said conversationally as she lead me towards the gate separating her world from mine. "I worked my ass off to make it to the top so that I could oversee the others, make sure I never witnessed another-" she cut herself off with a shake of her head. "Little girl, you should prepare. I can save you from the other guards, but the General... you're fucked, and that's putting it nicely. At least he won't touch you in that way..." she trails off as if talking to herself. As if reassuring herself.

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"How'd you get out?" The General thundered sometime later when she brought me to him. With a bow of her head she shot me one last look I couldn't read before she was gone.
I knew I should feel fear. But that guards kindness touched me. She saved me from a horrific act. She was human and still she treated me as if I were her equal. Her prisoner sure, but she talked and treated me as she would a human prisoner.
Josalena wasn't a special case after all.
Josalena! My mind seemed to scream. You've betrayed her trust!
"You'll regret escaping, Kitten," the Generals lips tightened as he raised a dark finger at me, wagging it in my face like I was a disobedient pet. "And by the end of the night you'll tell me how you did it."
Betray Josalena, the first human to show me kindness? Once again? Never. Never again.
Not even when he beat me until my whole body matched the color of my ears and tail. Not when he bit off the tip of my left ear. Not when he ripped out my claws one by one.
No matter what brutal torment he did to me that night, I kept with the story that someone threw some oily substance on me and I managed to slip out the cracks. The bars were wide enough for it to be possible with a scrawny thing like me. I suspected the next time I saw that damn cage it would have less space between bars. Hopefully. Then that would mean he bought my story otherwise.
Finally, after a week of being imprisoned in some barn that the General owned; they dumped me on the other side of the gate with my people. It took me what felt like days to crawl back to my hut. No one stopped to help. My own people, too afraid to lift a finger to help me as I crawled with broke legs and an arm back to my hut. More like slithered like a snake, belly dragging on the dirt.
"Stupid girl," I heard a snide and it made me realize how much we needed a change. We should be in it together... not divided.
Resetting my own bones came with clarity.
Everything in me screamed that I had to be the one to free us all. I had no one, had nothing to live for.
So I might as well throw myself into this mission of freedom, of getting us out. To be the one who died for a better future, because I was going to die anyway and most likely in a horrific way, worse than Momma.
And if I do die trying, well I'm dead inside already, what would it matter? Another dead halfbreed? It wouldn't matter. It wouldn't matter to anyone at all.
It's worth the try. What else is there to live for?