Shifted

18. Kalaya

It had been weeks since I last saw Josalena at her house. The first week was routine as normal. Only different in the fact that I had a new shadow.
"Go away little one," I all but hissed as the stone marble eyed girl peeped at me from behind my hut as I walked by.
She skipped behind me, no longer trying to hide the fact that she was stalking me around.
"What do what you want, you creep," I all but growled out but it was hard to ignore the twang of guilt from ignoring the little one. She had been sleeping outside my door for days and it was starting to make me feel bad.
"Don't you have a home? A family? Take me there, I want to see where you sleep," I finally told her at the end of the week.
She looked glum for the first time since I met her, she never even looked down when I told her to go away as if she choose to ignore my rudeness. "My dad died a while ago. Mom died when she had me," she explained and I cursed myself for even asking.
See this is how is always goes. Everyone had a sob story here, a real gut twister or heart jerker.
"Did they leave behind a hut for you to live in?"
"It rotted, and then after the last storm, it all but fell apart. Nothin left of it."
I sighed as I continued walking and she continued following. It wasn't until that night that I asked her, "how old are you?"
"Something like ten. I stopped counting once I ran out of fingers," she shrugged.
"And how long ago was that?"
She thought about it, placing her finger to her chin and squinting.
"You know what, I could be twelve." I laughed at that.
"I guess it doesn't matter anyway. I can bring you to a hut they keep parentless children there along with this old couple who run the school-"
"No," she stomped her foot. "It's too crowded there. Can't I stay with you?" She begged as we neared my home. I groaned.
"You're twelve right? That's old enough to raise yourself, I'll help you build a new place at the spot your home used to be. I'm sure I could round up some spare-"
She stomped her foot and hissed at me. I blinked at her stormy expression.
"No, I want to be like you, I want to stay close and learn your ways."
I cocked my head, "my ways?"
"I watched you, you marched right into town and gave them a piece of your mind, and I want to be fearless like that. I want to beat those humans up and make them pay," she balled up her fist and it was cute that she was so angry but looked so adorable.
"Fine, you can stay with me for now, but I like my own space so be warned, I will be building a new hut soon. The more I built the better I got at it and I was confident I could even remodel my own home if I could get more wood and tools. Maybe I could get some from a sympathizer guard. There was always a few. Sail was better at getting materials but she used all she had, body and charm to get what she wanted. Knowing how she was getting material made me never want to have to ask her for anything, feeling bad that if I couldn't sleep with the guards myself, why should I let someone do it for me?
She beamed at me and dove in for a hug.
"I'm Snakegirl," she announced and I smiled down at her as she pulled away.
"Nice to meet you Snakegirl, you better not try to cuddle with me or anything weird, let's get one thing straight. I am not and will not replace your parents- hey wait," I followed her as she ignored me and rushed into my home. Rolling my eyes as she looked at me as she dragged one of my mats to the other end of the hut. "I'm not a child, I'm twelve, maybe ten, but whatever, I don't need to be coddled like a baby," she has attitude in her voice and it made me grin.
"Good," I walked over to my box and handed her what was left inside; even though I knew everyone here was supposed to fend for themselves and their own kids when it came go food. You get soft, you die off. But it felt good to do something for someone and I knew I did the right thing when she started wolfing it down as if she hasn't eaten in a while.
My stomach threatened to growl so I stood up.
"Now that you are settled; I'm going to grab a drink at the bar," I tossed her the extra blanket. I knew I shouldn't but I bent down to ruffle her hair. "Night kid, don't wait up."
"I'll guard your home with my life," she announced as I slide my door to the side.
"Don't bother; it's not even worth it," I joked before slipping out.

Another week rolled by, and then a warning came in. There was going to be a raid. And the general was leading it, which meant there would be a big pile of items to burn. The guards didn't care about taking away petty items they saw as trash, at least not until the general would come around and then they had to make sure to do their job and have something to show for it to avoid trouble.
The bar would be a big bust that could cause trouble, so I started there and helped Matters hide alcohol, rolled cigars among other things underneath it's floor board.
"You going to keep an eye out tomorrow? Or should I?" He asked because if certain things were found we needed a head start in knowing if anyone needed to hide out. So we always made sure someone stayed on lookout, watched what the guards found and if worst comes to worst, even risking intercepting a guard from finding anything too bad.
"I'll hang around. I got a new partner in crime who is young enough looking they won't send her to the fields to work just yet." Snakegirl was perfect for helping me because if a guard saw her he would just keep on walking. If you were too old or a child, you weren't required to work and so guards would overlook her during the raid. It was normal for children to wander around during the day while their parents and neighbors were off doing free labor.
"Wow; using children, have we really gotten so desperate?" When I raised an eyebrow he laughed.
"Just fuckin with ya," he clapped me on the back. "I already know we're as desperate as they come. Stay safe." I nodded and repeated the words back at him before we went out separate ways.
And now the day of the raid, I snuck around and caught sight of Josalena, of all people, here in my humble home.
I was so caught up in her, it wasn't until after she left that I looked around and felt embarrassed? Could I feel shame and embarrassment? I don't know, but I felt self conscious of the fact that we've been in each other's homes, in each other beds. And she was probably thinking her lucky stars tonight while she was in her framed, raised, soft feathery filled bed, in her own room in her big warm home that had a fireplace in each room, that she didn't have to live here, with me, on my hard mat in a cold hut that didn't even have a proper door.
My heart twisted as I thought of that vacant look in her eyes when I had left her home. Of how cruel her father was. Of sounds of him hitting someone. Her? A shifted?
Maybe her home was comfortable but she lived with a monster. And that wasn't worth a fireplace or a feather filled comforter. Maybe when I figured out how to leave this place, I'd be brave enough to ask her to come with me.
"Kalaya!" Snakegirl panted as she ran up to me, tears in her eyes. "They are lining a few shifted up! Calling them useless!" She grabbed my arm and tugged and I let her drag me a few steps before stopping.
Bending down, I pulled Snakegirl to a stop and closer to me as I looked into her eyes. "Snakegirl, I need you to go back to the hut. My books are uncovered and I could get in trouble," I said knowing she'd hate me if I told her she was small and probably shouldn't see what was about to go down, "please guard my stuff, I'll go see to this." When she nodded slowly at me and whispered, "okay." I sighed in relief and set off towards the fields.
Sure enough, a crowd of shifted was gathered, guards were surrounded on the other side, Josalena next to her father and it made me feel sick to see but I knew she couldn't help it. She had made an excuse to come see me, she had to be here. As the general did his usual speech about how useless workers were no good to him and needed to be taught a lesson, indicating to a group of unlucky shifted, about eight of them, I thought back.
Josalena hadn't exactly said why she had come. Was it for me? As the general pulled out rope, making my stomach lurch as Josalena looked on with a stony expression.
She hadn't told me why she came. She hadn't told me she risked it all to just come see me for a second.
She just said she had come with her father. She was surprised to see me, it was by chance I found her in my hut. Of course it was, how would she know where I lived?
All the words she spoke to me during our brief meeting came back to me.
Her questions on how I knew the raid was coming. Me answering honestly. Luckily, I didn't give names. But I gave information.
As she stood still and watched as the general did what we all knew what he would, as he had guards toss rope over the large tree they hung many of my people for this very dumb excuse to give us motivation to work hard, as they dragged the right close and tied the nooses around their throats and she stood silently watching as if she too weren't surprised. As if she was numb to it and accepted it already.
She was one of them. And I had given her too much information. Telling her about the lazy guards who didn't search well enough of the ones that gave us help. "I noticed," she had said.
"I'm far from clean now," she had also said. And I should have believed her. Because when someone tells you who they are, you have to believe them.
But I hadn't want to believe someone so kind and innocent seeming as her was capable of doing anything bad against my people. Not when I saw how much she went out of her way to help us.
She was different. I had believed that.
But right before my eyes, she was changing.
Because she watched, and didn't even beg her dad to stop as he ordered the eight shifted to hang. All the humans beside her watched, always watching. Always allowing it to happen.
They had power and privileges, why would they give that up for those they saw as dirty animals?
"Work harder halfbreeds!" The general yelled. "I'm tired of wasting food and supplies on the likes of useless halfbreeds."
I felt the walls around my heart build back up, furious that I even allowed it to crack for her. Rage replaced the pain that twisted my insides.
She promised she would return to see me. Good. From now on, her well-being be damned, I would use her, the generals daughter and I would free my people. I don't know what Josalena's end game with me was. Maybe she was infatuated with me. Maybe she had a cat fetish. Maybe she had a shifted fetish. Maybe she was experimenting with someone who she knew didn't have a place to judge or could tell on her.
I burned up as I remember Tama. How she fell in love with a damn human. How she fed him information and even helped him betray her own kind. How he silently watched and looked away as she had been murdered right before his eyes.
Had I been heading down that road? And only after a few stolen kisses?
When Josalena's eyes met mine. She grimaced and looked away. But not before I saw it.
The guilt that lived there. Josalena was one of them. Of course she was. My mother was wrong. There were no good humans.
Because no good person could stand by and watch a bad person do bad things, their people, and not even utter a word of protest and still remain a good person.
All humans were bad. All humans were to blame. All of them were the enemy. And for the few that weren't, it wasn't even worth the risk.
And I need to never forget that. And all of us shifted would have to become the ruthless unfeeling animals they believed us to be, in order to escape this prison.