Shifted

8.

Kalaya
It had been stupid of me to speak of going free to a human, to the girl named Josalena, as the others called her, but I couldn't help it. As we held hands and as I felt her gaze on my face, I couldn't help but think of the future, it had always been filled with me running away, but for just a moment I thought about the very hand holding mine moments ago, holding onto mine as I ran, looking over and seeing her face, both of us smiling at each other as if we shared a secret and pushing on, running away from the nightmare that used to be, but no longer would be.
And yet, after she left, I realized the truth. Even if by some miracle I one day ended up falling in love and had someone who loved me back, the moment we ran, we wouldn't be smiling and filled with love. We would be running for dear life, panicked, afraid and with frowns of worry on our faces. We'd always be on the run, never settling in one spot too long. That is if we lived long enough.
Reality was so much bitter and uglier than dreams and fantasies.
"Tell me about her," I said with a sigh as she left once again after bringing us all water.
I leaned against the bar doors, looking out and only being able to see a few of the shifted that were also leaning against their bars. I knew some of them and other had familiar faces.
Gobe and Fern had even lived on my street.
"Don't even go there girl," Fern said with a shake of her head before disappearing further back into her cell.
"Josalena is good people," I heard Gobe's say. "I think she's more like us than her own people."
"How so?" I asked, curious.
"She did something nice for me and got in trouble for in, really bad trouble. But the next day, she came back in here as if everything was all fine, big smile on her face and reading the next names off the list."
There were newly made cut marks on the back of her hands, as if she had held them up when someone attacked her. My stomach clenched as rage against the General clawed inside of me. He will be getting his one day.
"She is a nice little lady, but child, she is also the General's daughter. If he even saw you looking at her in that way, you'll be dead a moment after," A gruff voice spoke.
Sliding down the wall, I leaned against it. "I'm already dead," I told them, the girl across from me watching me with wide eyes and listening to my every word.
I told them everything about going to get supplies, a shifted turned on me – this made them all start grumbling and angry – and how the General was now setting me up.
"And who is going to believe me?! I got only two days of lock up in here! I'll be out tomorrow for a crime as great as stealing!
There was a snort. "I believe you," Fern, who had hadn't even realized was still listening replied.
"Sounds about right, that General likes to play with us before he has us killed," a shifted named Barkin grumbled.
"What's your story?" I asked him. Soon enough I heard about how each of them got in here and then some.
Barkin was being sentenced to death for beating up two guards that tried to arrest him, to this I replied "That sucks," and Barkin's laughed for just second, before getting serious and telling me how he had a daughter, that she and the mother were starving and he couldn't stand it so he robbed a whole crate filled with supplies. Supplies meant for all shifted.
"I deserve to be in here, I stole from my own," Barkin spoke with shame clear as day in his voice. I promised myself I would find and help his family, but I didn't speak that promise aloud. The last time I made a promise, one to my mother that I would return with medicine and another to Josalena that I would return. Both fell through. So I decided never to make another promise out loud.
"At least you didn't rob your neighbor's house," Fern replied. "That's what my neighbor did to me, came in and robbed me, hitting me on the head on the way out."
Fern wasn't in here long and only ended up in here for pushing a guard off of a girl he had been trying to rape. The reason Fern didn't get longer for pushing the guard, which was a big no-no, was because the guard had been trying to "fornicate" with a shifted. It was against the law, and the guard had been fired, but of course the General just couldn't let Fern go.
​"How much longer you got?" I asked, fiddling with a piece of hair. I was glad that this time around I was surrounded by people to talk to while being locked up.
​Being locked up out in public had to be the worst. They put up cages in separate parts, so no other shifted were around to talk to. The only people who did come around or were passing through either called out names, threw rocks, or just plain ignored me. Having to use the bathroom out in the open was disturbing at first, but then I realized it made the humans more uncomfortable than me, so as I sat on the pot using the bathroom, I'd look them right in the eye, smirk and then flip them off.
If I had a certain man part, I'd probably even urinate on anyone who tried to throw anything at me.
​Ha, that was probably why they were starting to build a larger jail on the General's property. All of us shifted have heard about it. And word was going around that they even wanted to move all of us inside, only letting us out to work in the fields, in home, in shops and do other jobs no one else wanted to do. It was being said that they would also be marking us, putting us on better lock down.
​It was just a rumor at the moment, but I knew soon it would come to life, becoming very real.
​Gobe warned that it was close to the time that the General came and checked on us. He was in here for three more months; his reason of being here was ridiculous but not very surprising. He flipped off a guard that had made fun of his clipped wings.
​The cute girl in the cell across from me played nervously with her tail and I saw fright in her eyes as the mention of the General. Her wide eyes made me want to reach out and comfort her.
​T.R was her name and it took her a minute to whisper out that she was in here because, "I stole," her voice was hoarse as she said this. "First time," she added so we all knew she wouldn't be in here long either.
​Curtis on the other hand would be in here for life for planning an escape. He told us he never even got to go through with his plan.
​"Well what was it?" I asked, curious.
​I heard Fern snort from her cell. "Girl you are in for a world of hurt. First you want to involve yourself with a human girl and now it seems like you're trying to come up with a plan to escape. I hope you enjoy your stay here, because if you don't get yourself the death penalty, this will turn out to be your permanent home."
​"No one said anything about planning to escape," I said, and they all knew I just meant to keep my name away from the word. Even a rumor about me wanting to trying to escape will have me in big trouble. "I was just curious," I said.
​"Don't be," Curtis gruff voice spoke out. "It was a good plan, I'll tell you that, but you should just stay away from the topic of escape. You really don't want to end up being my roommate."
​"Aw, c'mon, your jokes can't be that bad! Besides, you seem like a man with a lot of history, you can keep me entertained with tales of the old days." I joked and I could practically feel the frown and glare I was getting from across the room.
​I sighed. "Fine," I grumbled. The old bastard was holding out on me! What if he was right and his plan was good and it could be successful? But it was looking like he wasn't about to tell me.
​The moment we all heard loud footsteps coming down the stairs, we all got quiet, retreating into the furthest corner of our cells.
​With a sigh I leaned back against the wall and waited for the General to finish inspection. As he came to a stop at my cell, all I could think about was his lovely daughter and how she would have let me kiss her if I wanted to. The way she just stood there as I held my hand near her throat. She didn't move, she didn't look afraid; she just waited and watched to see what I would do.
​It would be a lie if I didn't say the thought of taking out the General's daughter didn't cross my mind, or thoughts of taking her keys and finally using it as a way to get out of here and possibly out of this whole place.
​But I just couldn't bring myself to do it as she gazed at me with trust in her eyes.
Instead, I wanted to draw her closer to me, kiss her like she's never been kissed, I wanted to bite those soft plump lips of hers, caress her soft dark skin and grab her leg, pulling it up and pressing close to her, feeling her warm body against mine.
​Luckily, I restrained myself. She would either end up either turning on me or becoming my biggest weakness.
​I couldn't afford either, I was already lucky in a way that I had no one. When there was no one left, there was nothing left to lose. And when there was nothing to lose, no one ever had leverage over me. No one ever could take anything away from me because I had nothing to take.
​To survive, I couldn't have weaknesses like Josalena. The way I was feeling now about her, how I couldn't even bring myself to be mean to her, even if she did hold the keys to my freedom right in front of my face, the way my heart felt a yearning for her while I held her hand, it was dangerous.
​I hadn't wanted anyone. I hadn't longed for anyone. Love was to set yourself up for heart ache and not many of us were willing to take the chance.
Being alone hadn't been so bad. I hadn't cared about going home to an empty house, going to sleep in a cold bed, no body heat next to me. It was ok. I was fine with it. I had Sail to find comfort with. And that was good enough.
​Until I saw her and all was doomed. That's when I yearned. That's when I wanted.
​And I couldn't even have it.
​"Enjoy another night being alive," the General snarled at me.
​"Enjoy another night being a scumbag," I scuffed, crossing my arms and rolling my eyes at him.
​Instead of replying, the General nodded his head to himself, smirked and then left with the door banging behind him.
​I let out a shaky breath, knowing I may have just dodged a knife there. The humans may not know of it, but the General was known amongst the shifted for being cruel and for torturing the shifted. It was said that he loved it, thought of it as training a wild animal into a house pet.
​It was sick, but word around was the General was trying to push for laws to be passed that us shifted had to have a pierced tag on our ear with a number on it, maybe even a collars or – and this was the sickest – he wanted to brand us. And not even with ink, but with an iron.
​We may look like animals, but we were people. We had feelings, we had emotions, we could be civil, and we didn't even carry diseases. We should have freedom too.
​Instead we could get collared like dogs, tagged like cattle or cruelly branded. Not even animals deserve such treatment it was cruel all around.
​Either way, this could make it near impossible to not only try to get from our side of the fence into human's to steal or walk among them. It would be humiliating and degrading. Any hope of freedom or equal rights among us would be dashed to hell the moment the humans marked us.
​There were a lot of these rumors about what the plans of the Generals were and laws he was trying to get made.
​If the General had been given complete freedom over us, we would have been living in the worst Hell no one could ever even dream of.
​I knew I was only one person, one lowly shifted, but I wanted to change this, I wanted to stop the General.
​I wanted him dead.
​And as much as I didn't want to and knew it would come back and bite me in the ass if I did it, I would use the girl, Josalena. I would use her to get to her father and kill him, giving hope to my people and sparking them, igniting them to finally get up, unite and demand freedom or else a war between us and the humans would begin. I just wanted them to let us free. If they couldn't live next to us as equals they should let us go out in the world and make our own way.
And so my relationship with Josalena needed to move forward. My escape plan was right in front of my face, begging me with her eyes to kiss her. Next time I would.
It didn't bring me joy to betray this kind being but it could possibly bring my people freedom. And anything was worth saving my people from their suffering... anything. Or so I kept telling myself.