Shifted

15

Kalaya

Walking into the bar full of shifted, my neighbors and bar mates and fellow field workers and protesters, I just wanted to get it over with. When I came face to face with the others, instead of the anger, all I saw on their faces was relief.

"Kalaya?" A familiar voice reached my ears before Sail was in front of me. My vision blurred as tears filled my eyes. When I realized Tama had betrayed me, I wondered if Sail had too. And then i worried that Tama had done something to her.

"So glad you're alive!" Sail exclaimed, happily but tears flowed down her face. Which wasn't good. Sail was known to get dehydrated quick and it was worse when she cried. Almost as if she was expelling her water instead of crying like everyone else. Her webbed hands clasped together as she smiled at me with ruby red lips.

"Really?" I asked, touching her cheeks. "Tama-" I began and Sail shook her head. And pointed down at her wrapped up ankles.

"That traitor broke my ankles! And then she was found dead the day after. I told everyone that she betrayed us, and turned you over. They sealed that hole and upped security around here, it's been awful," she blinked and I could see her shutting down her emotions so they wouldn't get the best of her.
"I'm sorry you were hurt in the process of this betrayal. And I'm glad you heal quickly once bathed in water," I grinned at her, giving her a light punch to the arm. If the humans knew how quickly she could heal, she'd surely be dead. Any shifted who displayed any type of strength that was almost super human, then they would be dealt with. There used to be an ox of a man who was so strong he broke huge holes in the wall before they killed him, losing many of their men in the process. We sure could use him right about now.

"Thought we lost our only ideas person," Matter informed me, a flash of his sharp teeth showing while he talked. "Thought our days of schemin' a revolt or break out were long over 'for the fun even began."
"Scheming? Did you just learn that word?" I joked with him. Before the school we set up we didn't know many words or how to say anything correctly. But slowly we would be talking just like the towns folks. It was a shame that we lost our native tongue. My Pa used to talk about to with Mom all the time. He'd say they killed anyone who would speak what they thought was a weird language. If only we had a teacher and could communicate without any outsiders knowing what we were up to. That would come in handy.

"Well as boring as it is 'round here, got tired of all the laying around drinking and laying around if you know what I mean," he winked at me and I rolled my eyes. Before the school we all had a life of working, fucking and suffering and not much else. But now we were learning and building and trying to plant small herbs in the fields so we could use for medicine. For the first time in a long while we were slowly gaining hope for a better future. I sat in this bar too many times telling them stories of us gaining this knowledge and using it to be free on the outside, to survive in the wilds alone. But we had to learn first, I told everyone, we had to start somewhere. And if we couldn't escape, we had to show the townspeople how human and alike we were, just like them. We weren't savages or mindless animals. But for so long that narrative was able to pass because of how we lived.
How many times have they taken their human teens and adults on a tour around here to prove that we are the sinful beasts they thought we were?

We had to change the narrative. We had to do better and make them feel for us. And if they refused we should burn it all down and run off. Either option was fine with me. But what wouldn't stand while I was alive, was us stuck forever living in this hellhole they had created for us.
I was grateful for my mother and father: they tried teaching me as much as they could, coming from another town where some shifted were allowed beyond their prison, were allowed some education, helped shape me. I wasn't special or different, I was the way I was because my parents whispered in my ear until they say they died. Of a better way. And I held onto that and wanted that in the name of their memory.
"Welcome back Kalaya," Games and a few other shifted patted me on the back before they went back to talking amongst each other.
"Here," Matters, the bar owner here, slid me a shot. "You get nice and drunk tonight and then you come up with more of your ideas. Because things are getting real tense around here."
"No pressure," I muttered before slinging down the shot. He immediately refilled. "They were hoping y'all would turn on me, you know?"
Sail looked at me with wide eyes as she sat down. "Is that why they let you go free early? Those idiots."
"I guess they didn't count on you telling," I scrunched up my eyebrows for a moment. "Wait how-"
Sail sighed as Matters handed her a shot.
"That lover boy guard stabbed me in the chest, almost got my heart," she pulled up her tan corset looking shirt to show me her full chest. I gasped softly at the wicked scar she had. Matters looked on sadly before shaking his head. Reaching out I lightly ran my fingers over her scaly skin. The scar was bright purple and looked angry.
"If it weren't for Hiccup," she raised her glass and called across the bar at the teen boy who had a bushy  striped tail and unnaturally black ringed around his eyes like a mask. "My noisy neighbor who came barging in demanding I return his detailed sex filled papers," she laughed as he turned bright red and ducked his head. "He's gonna be our first writer yall, just don't expect it to be anything more than two or more people rutting around for ten pages." People hooted and thumped him on the back. Everyone demanding he write them something.
"Those were personal," he called out standing up. "You dirty animals," he joked, spitting on the ground. People heckled him so he replied. "I write poems too, the non sex filled kind," he beamed red.
I stood up, "bring them in then, read them to us entertain us while we get drunk."
"Maybe," he shrugged as others encouraged him to do so.
I laughed and sat down, sighed as all the events of the past week. As Josalena and her beautiful room came to mind. I missed her. I hated leaving her there; with that empty expression on her face. What was she doing right now? I knew I had to find a way to see her.
But the more I thought of her, the more guilt I felt as I watched my people joking and laughing when there wasn't anything funny.
We were slaves who were treated worse than livestock. We were dead and dying. We were starved and tortured. There was no reason to smile and laugh now. With the wall being heavily guarded and repaired and The general on edge about us, we were in more danger than ever.
I knew this would happen but I wish it wasn't so soon. All because Tama, our own, betrayed us. How many more were among us now? Waiting to tell the humans in exchange for sugary promises they'll never receive?

Thoughts of missing Josalena turned from sweet to bitter as I remembered I was in the inside, I was with the Generals daughter and I didn't make a move that could have mattered. I didn't hold her life in my hands and threaten the general. I didn't kill him in his sleep. I did nothing.

And I hated myself for it. What did it matter, my attraction to her? It was such a small thing in the grand scheme of it all. Her happiness and well-being couldn't be a priority to me. Not when my people suffered. They needed me. And they needed me to be selfless, to put aside my own pains and longings and think of a way out of all this misery.

Because I was lying to Josalena when I told her I didn't think I could be happy. Because I knew. I knew I couldn't be happy. Ever. Not until my people, until all Shifted, were free.